Open Letter for CCS Parents

It has come to my understanding/attention that some things I have written here on my blog has caused concern enough to go to my superiors here at school and also to local pastors who don't know me. All I want to say is that if you have concerns, you can come to me. I am a person, I have a 4 year history with CCS, I have 15 years of history in student ministry, I have 16 years of history following Jesus, I am a father of 3 and a husband to 1. I am a person you can come to and talk with. I am not above criticism and I've even been accused of being a decent listener in the past.

I recognize that I have a lot of influence over students and its a position I take very seriously. I also recognize that I can be a bit intense for some and that my passions can be misperceived. To be perceived of as someone who is more a part of the problem, rather than the cure here at CCS is a perception that I grieve. I don't know if the perception is a reality or not, but I'll never know if we don't talk to one another.

If I am anything but an agent of the Kingdom of God to CCS students and staff, I would wish that I be confronted personally by those concerned. I pray that I would do the same.

peace in Christ,

Deep shadows to Radiant Light

"2 The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. For those who lived in a land of deep shadows - light! sunbursts of light! 3 You repopulated the nation, you expanded its joy. Oh, they're so glad in your presence! Festival joy! The joy of a great celebration, sharing rich gifts and warm greetings. 4 The abuse of oppressors and cruelty of tyrants - all their whips and cudgels and curses - Is gone, done away with, a deliverance as surprising and sudden as Gideon's old victory over Midian. 5 The boots of all those invading troops, along with their shirts soaked with innocent blood, Will be piled in a heap and burned, a fire that will burn for days! 6 For a child has been born - for us! the gift of a son - for us! He'll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness. 7 His ruling authority will grow, and there'll be no limits to the wholeness he brings. He'll rule from the historic David throne over that promised kingdom. He'll put that kingdom on a firm footing and keep it going With fair dealing and right living, beginning now and lasting always. The zeal of God-of-the-Angel-Armies will do all this. God Answered Fire with Fire." - excerpt from Isaiah 9 (The Message)

This was our passage at house church on tuesday evening and I'm stil chewing on it. My more recent tradition has been to get my Christmas shopping done early so as to focus the rest of my Advent season on enjoying relationships, sharing joy and basking in the drama of the wait for the King to come in the middle of the night and completely take over.

Jesus changed everything. His presence on earth made right what was unright. The baby wrapped in swaddling clothes was a maker of justice. He brought a Kingdom to earth that has no end. Friends, it has no end!!!!!!!! There are no limits to the wholeness that He brings. We lived without hope, now we are a people filled with expectant hope.

The beauty of that night is overwhelming to me. I can smell the shepherds fire flickering into the cool of the night. I can hear the crackling of the dry wood. I can feel the quietness of their routine until all was disturbed with the angelic proclamation. How amazingly cool would it have been to be the ones to whom got the news first that THE child has been born for us and that now everything will change??????? Man, I would have loved to be there.

My reality is that the Kingdom has come in that little baby, and that His Kingdom is still coming. His Kingdom will come today because it lives in me and I seek to give it away to all who have ears to hear. We are a part of the Story, and the Story lives in us.

peace of Christ unto your day,

Who Dey Holiday weekend

Doc and I did some pre-game tailgating and then onto the Bengals game where they got their 8th victory of the season. Tonight, I'm a big Colts fan so as to get a game up on those Pittsburgh squealers. Next week is the game we have to have. My hope is that we find a way to stop the run (which we haven't all year) and that Pitt. has a short week to get ready for us. Nonetheless, it should be a better game than the last meeting and it has major implications for the off-season. Canipe, how bout double or nothing on that coffee?? :)

Had my best 10k run on Thanksgiving morning in downtown Cincy. I ran 10 min. miles which is the fastest I've ever run a 10k, felt very satisfying. Now its on to about 3 months of winter training til the next 10k in mid-March. I will be training this winter to run the 1/2 marathon at the Flying Pig in Cincy again in May. I'm too much of an extrovert to be a very good monk, running helps my aspirations to do better monking. It combines long times of prayer and reflection with my competitive nature. It also excuses me to do some serious holiday eating ;)

On a separate note, my Dad called me on Wednesday just to check in before the holidays. That is a BIG deal, I cannot recall any other time that my Dad has actually called me. Our relationship is distant but warm, mostly I've had little expectations which keeps me from being disappointed. But it really meant a lot to me that he called. This may not mean a lot to many of you out thre, but its quite a huge deal to me. I have longed my whole life to have an actual relationship with my earthly father, so when I get glimpses, even for a few minutes, I stop and cherish it.

SHC (student house church) continued on Sunday evening with a bit of discussion on community and denying our selfish natures in order to really experience the freedom that Christ brings. We got our leading from Galatians 5 and some thoughts from Bonhoeffer's "Life Together". Community is precious and deeply meaningful for those who give themselves to it.

Advent is upon us, I love this time of year. The drama of waiting for the Messiah to be born. The Incarnation of Jesus saved my life, I never tire of celebrating that.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

A Weekend of Fullness

I am so tired, it was an amazing weekend. Here are some highlights:

1) Being with Keck when he tried Skyline Chili for the 1st time on a late Thursday night run.
2) Picking up Bishop and his son Jackson from the airport, watching the reality of our coldness hit their southern Florida skin.
3) Lunch at Andy's Mediterranean is always a good time and great chicken
4) Receiving unbelieveable generosity from my brother-in-law Rob in providing dinner for Friday for all of us
5) Seeing Keck and Rains with their faces scorched black as they torched art into industrial drums turning them into the coolest fire barrels in history
6) Friday's party was off the charts, 85% of my favortie people in the world at one place. So much laughter, so much great conversation, so much love. My head didn't hit the pillow until 3:30 a.m., that party could have lasted for a week.
7) Worship and Eucharist as a community on Saturday was oozing with authenticity and spiritual maturity.
8) Praying for Palmer was powerful, emotional, Spirit-driven and filled with life and hope. The manifestations of the Spirit were desperate, in all the right senses of the word. It is joy and not despair that is writing this story.
9) Craig Spink's U.S. wedding reception at the Underground on Saturday was maybe the coolest wedding celebration I've ever experienced.
10) Sharing body art with 3 of my closest bros is unspeakably meaningful to me. We have reminders that we're never alone.
11) Fish and chips with Joe and Julie Long was an unexpected treat. I wished I lived closer and saw more of them.
12) Ohio State beat Michigan!!!!
13) The Bengals never stopped the Colts offense and thus showed we are a playoff team, but not a "great" team yet.
14) Putting up our Christmas lights and beating the rest of the neighborhood to the punch. ha ha ha ha
15) The beginning of a student house church around a fire, under the stars and with some open honesty. We'll see what kind of story God wants to write.

Its Thanksgiving, a short work week and another 10K race. Gotta catch up on some sleep.

I am extremely thankful for all these blessings and love living in the ways of the Kingdom of God.

peace,

Party in the Nati

This weekend starts on Thursday and rolls through Sunday. Great friends, Great community, Great conversation, Great encouragement, Great worship, Great prayer, Great food, great, great, great. I'm really stoked.

So we will gather to pray for Palmer's body, that God would cleanse him of the cancer and bring complete healing to his body. The reason we ask is because God can and our prayer is that He will.

We don't fear death and we don't fear disappointment. Contentment has been our friend in all circumstances. We are people of hope, we are people of resurrection, we are people of the Story of God, we are His people.

There will be war when we pray for Palmer, and its one that we enter willingly. Our weapons are faith, truth, love and hope. We listen to the One who authors life and speaks Creation, and out of our listening we prophesy life over dead bones. We come expectant as the People of God, we don't know of another Story.

I have few words left to say, I want to see God's hand move.

Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy on us.

blessings on your weekend,

the deconstruction of fear

How much of our daily lives and choices are ruled by fear?
How much of what we try and accomplish is directed through fear?
How much of our planning and illusion of control is really just the fear of failure?
How much of our anxiety and stress is the bondage of fear?
How much of our sleeplessness is due to fear?
How much of our lack of progress in life is stunted by fear?
How much of our theology is rooted in fear?
How much is our lack of intimacy the result of fear?
How much of our unfulfilled dreams are the captive of fear?
How much of our unanswered prayers are because of fear?
Can fear and faith co-exist?
Is there a positive category for fear?
How much of fear is a flaming arrow of the enemy?
How much of me is still influenced by fear?
Wasn't it fear that kept the disciples huddled in the upper room on Easter morning?
Wasn't it the lack of fear that caused Mary to get up while it was still dark and cold that Easter morning?
Can fear be the fuel of Kingdom hope? (this is what Im presently experiencing)
There is a fear of God that is Holy Other, that is the fear that is fueling me and I'm open to His movement.

If your having the crippling kind of fear from the enemy, meet it straight on, put your hands on its throat, and strangle the life out of the demon in the name of Christ.
If your having the kind of fear of God that comes through consecration before Him, receive His Spirit and walk ahead with Hope.

In the name of Jesus, bring complete healing to Palmer's body.

peace,

weekend report

Sunday morning I got up and ran the Ribs Run for the Marvin Lewis foundation in downtown Cincy. My niece, Gabby, ran the 5k and came in 7th in the women's division (pretty good considering she's 14). My nephew, Cory, ran in the 10K with me and he got 14th overall (he's 15). I beat my previous 10k time which was cool, but I saw this as another training run for the big 10k which is thanksgiving morning at the Bengals stadium. Running continues to be an escape for me, energy for my lifestyle and time to pray and reflect.

We had our annual OCC thanksgiving meal and worship time on Sunday afternoon and it was as always . . . REALLY good food and lots of it. Afterwards, we spent some time in worship, reflection and prayer. It was a bit hard to focus when the the turkey hangover was tempting us all towards a holy nap. With the Bengals on a bye week, it was a pretty peaceful Sunday.

This weekend is gonna be huge. Thursday night art show for the re-opening of St. Elizabeth's in Norwood, arguably my favorite church structure in the universe. Some of my favorite peeps are coming in this weekend for conversation, kingdom community and lots of love. Kecks from Vermont, Henderson from Seattle, Bishop from Florida, maybe Hale from St. Louis. Then the usual suspects from the midwest posse, Rains, Creechs, Bean, Palmers, Johnsons, Longs, Allis, VC crew, Klinefelters etc. etc. Its a plethora of great minds and hearts involved in the emerging/simple church world. Saturday morning we will worship, pray and encourage one another. Saturday afternoon is the U.S. wedding reception for Spinks who got married in Brazil last month. Then there is an after-party for him at an Irish establishment in Covington on Saturday evening. I sold my Bengals ticket for this coming Sunday so I could free up some time for a new ministry I'm beginning. Ministry before Bengals I suppose. But make no mistake about it, I will be watching the game as we give the Colts their 1st loss (sorry Bean) :)

If any are interested, I will be fasting on Thursday and Friday in preparation for a time this weekend to lay hands on Palmer and ask God for a complete healing of his body. If you would like to join me in this fast do so in your own way and pray intentionally for Palmer this weekend. We will never give up the fight.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

Clarification

In my previous post, I spoke of war and rebellion. Let me clarify that I don't mean that in a political or physically violent way, but as a spiritual metaphor. If that language is too intense for some, just be assured I'm a pretty peace-loving kind of guy. But until we see w/ spiritual eyes and understand the war we are in, we will only be building man-made kingdoms. As for the CCS community, I will be an advocate for peace and authentic Christ following, I have no other agenda. The students are my concern and nothing else. If any of you have questions or concerns of my intentions, please come and we can talk it over.

I spent 5 days in Memphis, TN with 150 high school students for their missions trip. I haven't gone on one of these trips in 4 years for numerous reasons, but for this year I sensed God asking me to attend. I perceived through the Spirit that I would have the opportunity to come alongside students and do some prophetic prayer and helping them be released from strongholds and spiritual bondage. And well, that happened. Next on my agenda is to begin a student house church out of my home and invite students who have no faith community to come and be a part. I pray that a community of authenticity will be birthed and that students will build hope that Christ following is possible without programs and buildings.

I am both in a state of encouragement and concern today, its an interesting paradox.

Today, Jesus asks us to be an offering. I think I'm game for that.

peace,

feeling hopeful

Yesterday morning, my wife and I met with our public school resource for trying to get Zach help in his speech and social development. We met with the school asst. principal, pre-school teacher, speech therapist, school psychologist and occupational therapist. They have all done observations of Zach either in our home or at their school and gave us their reports and recomendations. I was pretty amazed at their level of personal attention, the 1st time in this process that we felt that. We walked away feeling like this was a team effort between them as educators and us as parents. Everybody in the room had concern for Zach and were committed to unlocking his intelligence. As an educator myself, I much prefer the paradigm of personal education to the sterile/impersonal medical field.

Zach qualified for special ed. IEP pre-school which means we don't pay anything. He will begin most likely on Monday, 4 days a week starting at one hour a day and working his way up to 2 1/2 hours per day. They will be personally helping him develop his speech and communication skills, as well as his ability to be in groups and submitt to adult imposed structures. The structure will be VERY new for him and will undoubtedly cause him some stress. But given the fact that we have time and now resources, we feel very hopeful.

If your the praying type, pray for Zach's transition to this structured enviorment. Pray that as he learns to communicate better, the world will be less limited to him and thus less stressful. That he gains confidence with new skills and that confidence unlocks the intelligence that is within him. We're looking long-term and believe in God's story for Zach.

You see, I spent over 20 years of my life with little to no relationship with my earthly father. Even now, it consists of about 2-3 phone calls a year. Growing up, there were multitudes of nights where I cried myself to sleep and would talk out loud to a God that I wasn't even sure existed. I would say that if I ever had a son someday, I would make things different. Being a father is very personal to me, its a cherished role. One of my life goals was to experience a father-son relationship first-hand. Growing up, I coveted my friend's relationships who had Dad at home. I threw myself (anger and all) into sports and found my whole identity there. But no matter how many home runs I hit, points I scored, or tackles I made, the game would end and I would go home alone. Nobody there to see me play, nobody to enjoy it with and I lost interest. At 18, I transferred that ambition to ministry success. While I hope it was helpful to the Kingdom, I found myself at 26 empty and feeling alone as well. That's when I had my ABBA experience, a resting in the arms of my heavenly Daddy.

Now I can rest in the fact that I have 3 amazing children, a community of faith that I journey with that has loved me over and over and a ministry to a multitude of other lost sheep that need the same direction/attention I needed in that awkward time known as the teenage years.

I don't understand of a life outside of the hope of a Kingdom come. God is good.

peace,

Can you keep a secret?

Ok, its not a secret. November 17, 18 and most likely 19th, maybe even some 20th, a Midwest party is forming. Emerging church folk, simple church folk, house church folk, missional community folk, cool folk, semi-cool folk, partially pretty-cool folk etc. will be hanging out at Vineyard Central for the re-opening of St. Elizabeths (art party) on the 17th, then on the 18th it seems we're gonna do a common meal together and party into the night. There will be Kingdom conversations and topics being tossed around and knitted into souls within the framework of true community. I guarantee that there will be many like-minded Kingdom people there sharing hearts and minds over the elements. As folk come together, I imagine there will be opportunity for spill over parties on the 19th and 20th. Some is planned, some is spontaneous . . . all is of the Spirit.

For any out of towners that would consider making the pilgrimmage, feel free to contact me for free housing. I can arrange to have you stay at some saint's house and receive some Nati hospitality. As well, contact Rains at Vineyard Central.

It is good when Gods people come together. So many of us have chosen to do church in micro-communities, once in awhile its good to be in a corporate setting.

Oh yeah, Palmer is coming. We're going to ask God to move his hand and bring complete healing to his body. And when God moves, we're gonna sing new songs.

p.s. Your invited.

peace,

Jesus could not do miralces

Mark 6:5-6, "He could not do any miracles there, except lay hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith." This is Jesus in the hood he grew up in, Nazareth. Jesus could not do miracles . . . errrr . . . what? Are there laws governing the miraculous that are unseen and at times unattainable to even Jesus? Are they not even laws, but part of God's wonder and mystery that can't be measured with laws? How was Jesus limited? Why was Jesus limited? What does this mean to my theology of healing? All questions I'm thinking about.

Last Thursday, Kevin Rains and I sat on his new "courtyard" deck (extreme sweetness i might add) and pondered many questions, but one being this ongoing battle for Palmer's healing. We analyzed and reflected and concluded that what we know is that its a fight, a spiritual battle and one that we are all too happy to keep showing up in. We are not tired, we don't fret. We're hopeful, we're expectant, we're vigilant, we're showing up in the fight in our own way both personally and corporately.

Went camping this weekend with Paul McGillivary and Glenn Johnson. Around the fire on Saturday night, we pondered more theologies of healing and God's sovereignty. We reflected and prayed within our hearts for Palmer. Then our conversation turned to the star ridden sky above us and we reflected on the infinite # of galaxies out there, on the existence of black holes and parallel universes, on string theory and the heavenly realm. All of this made me conceive of the vastness of Creator God and the perspective of my life here on earth. God is writing a REALLY big story, and it is so far beyond us. Prayer ought not be demands coming from our little worlds, but said in humility before the God of Creation and His throne where all reality streams from.

So, go and worship the God of wonder, vastness and mystery. Stand in holy perspective before Him. And if he calls you into a battle, go without fear. Grab your sword and go where the Enemy sleeps in the night unleashing Hell on his doorstep. We belong to an unshakeable Kingdom, let's live like it.

peace,

Ouch, that hurt

Steelers 27 Bengals 13

They really beat us up pretty badly on our home field. We played very young and very inexperienced. The run defense is continually an area of concern. We're still in 1st place, but its obvious that we still have a lot of growing up to do. We are more talented than most, but aren't executing on the field. Did I mention that this loss hurt???

And worst part is that I have to buy Steelers-fan Canipe some Starbucks Jo now. I eat crow and he drinks coffee. Make it a venti coffee for Chad, I'll be the one eating humble pie . . . this time :) I feel bad for you Packer-backers coming into the the Jungle this week, we'll be looking to get back on track at your expense.

Who Dey!

Marriage as Rebellion

Tomorrow night I am marrying 2 good friends who have been participating in our house church for the past year. Last night was the rehearsal and I could sense the Holy Spirit in all of it. Nicki and I have walked with them through some pretty difficult times in their pre-marital counseling. They are the only Christ followers in their families, and both sets of parents have divorced during their engagement. How's that for wedding preparations?

But for these 2, they have chosen a different path. They have chosen the ways of Christ and the reality of His Kingdom on earth. So they talk about everything with brutal honesty, they forgive, they serve. They receive love from Christ and thus understand how to love one another. They live within the context of close Christian community and thus have support, love and accountability from others. This world sees marriage as a contract, we see it as an act of rebellion against our selfish nature and thus living and learnig what true union looks like. Its a spiritual union of souls to God and then to one another. I get so geeked about that, the ceremony and then the subsequent days of marriage are a way of sticking it to the enemy and our sinful nature. Marriage is an act of rebellion and its been one of the most redeeming experiences of my life. Outside of Jesus' Cross, it has been my savior. I get a few minutes in the middle of the ceremony to proclaim Kingdom, I"m looking forward to that.

I'm also looking to a fun reception and a date night with my wife. She got a new outfit for the occasion, and well, she just looks pretty hot! As I read the vows in the ceremony, in my heart, I am renewing my vows to Nicki. I couldn't be more happy to be 12 years into marriage and completely in love.

Love is the Jesus rebellion, learn it and live it at high volumes.

peace,

Enter the Mystery

"Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God, turn your backs on the world's 'sure thing', ignore what the world worships; The world's a huge stockpile of God-wonders and God-thoughts, Nothing and no one comes close to you! I start talking about you, telling you what I know, and quickly run out of words. Neither numbers nor words account for you."

"More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God."

"That's when God's Word entered my life, became part of my very being."

(Psalm 40 The Message)

Entering into the mystery of God is such a bigger idea than getting saved. When we reduce the Gospel to being only about going to heaven or hell, we suck the mystery and power and wonder out of our life in Christ. What I know is that river of God is not in heaven only, but also on earth. If I get quiet, practice solitude and begin to seek Him, I can hear its waters. Jesus came with the keys to the Kingdom and in some mysterious way, He was/is the Kingdom. Taking the time to commune with Him is about taking off your shoes and stepping into that river, the stream of his unadulterated Spirit. When you do, life comes into perspective. You begin to have God-thoughts. You begin to feel the things that are on the heart of the Father. I don't know about you, but I often see visions. Visions of the mystery, visions of God's desire and intent, visions of His missing children, visions of a battlefied, visions of the plans of the enemy, visions of answered prayer. Its a mystical place that I can't describe in scientific terms, nor do I care to. For me its my center, its home. Its the place where God becomes part of my very being. The notion of "getting saved" seems to be a pretty poor substitute for communing within the mystery of Christ. In the words of Eldrige, God is offering us a Sacred Romance. So then why do we settle for the prostitute? We trade the Holy for a whore. Friends, there's so much more if just take the time to remove our shoes and step into the river.

Stop and see the Kingdom around you today,

Its another Who Dey Monday!

In the midst of my soreness, let me just dwell on another Bengals win at the hands of the Tennessee Titans. The Bengals are now 5-1 and have possession of 1st place in the AFC North. But this is Steelers week. The Pittsburgh Squealers are coming into town on the Lord's Day this week and their many towel waving ya hoos. They have always played more physical than us and have given little to no respect to the rising of the Nati Bengals. Well, let the dead bury the dead. The rising takes another step this week.

""It's going to be a big week," said defensive lineman Bryan Robinson. The Steelers "have the mentality that we're nothing, and rightly so. We're just the Cincinnati Bengals. But I'm telling you, we've all decided enough is enough in here."


WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!!

peace,

We Ran for Palmer

It was really, really hard. I wasn't as well trained as I had been for my 1/2 marathon last May, but I did finish okay. Throughout the run, people came up to us and asked us about Palmer because we had signs pinned to our backs. It gave us a chance to tell his story and offer some prayers up for his peace and healing. My body is healing, but its going to be an uncomfortable couple of days.

I've got a lot on my mind that I hope to blog on this week. I'm sure you'll all be waiting in eager anticipation ;) Let me just take a moment and say thanks to all my loyal readers, you bring meaning to my life more than you know.

peace,

We'r running for Palmer

Come Saturday morning, Bean and I will run 13.1 miles in Indy because we've prepared ourselves to do so. But its more than that, you see, we're running for Palmer and we'll wear signs that say so. At each mile marker, as we drink some water and as much as our minds don't turn to mush, we will offer up simple prayers for the complete healing of our brother. We're running for Palmer, our pain will be in perspective.

Some days its cool to see the students "get" it. I've been trying to lay a foundation this quarter for the need of spiritual disciplines in our lives to give God space to work. Instead of relying on events, emotional highs and guilt ridden sermons, I am trying to shed light on the monastic way. Prayer, solitude, meditation, Scripture reflection, wholistic spirituality. For their quarter project, I gave them the option of writing a paper or trying a basic fast of something sacrificial. Some are trying a food fast, some are challenged with a media fast, but they have the option of sacrificing anything they depend on. One of the girls asked today if she could fast the need to look in a mirror for 24-48 hours. I found this to be an incredibly mature and introspective idea. A teenage girl wanting to deal with her vanity and need to be noticed or physically relevant. She wants to put her Christ following before her vanity. Friends, that's just good stuff. I look forward to reading her reflection of that experience. Teenage girls deal so much with body image and self-hatred because of their looks and their body types. I would love to see a revolution of Kingdom minded females who know they are more than what they look like and anchor their value in the fact that Abba is in love with them. I want to see my female students set free to be themselves and love who they are. Sometimes students "get" it and it makes my day.

Its a privelege to announce the Kingdom to those who have ears to hear. The Kingdom of God is pervasive reality, love it and live in it. Jesus did.

peace,

having troubles breathing

Got some news this morning that has taken my breath away a bit. My family is good and healthy, its nothing like that, its work related. But its a huge blow to my purposes here at CCS. I'm mostly speechless and a bit petrified for my future. Its been a bad couple of weeks in my vocational employment, it just got worse.

On the flip side, there is light around the corner and its in the form of a great community weekend. My best friend since college, Kevin Grand, is coming down from Michigan to spend the weekend. We always laugh our guts out together. My daughter, Megan, has her 7th birthday sleepover party on Friday night which should be entertaining. Then on Saturday is our OCC Harvest Fiesta w/ hayride, pumpkin patch, cider donuts, chili dinner, fire w/ smores, outdoor movie, worship, communion and camping out in my backyard. Much, much, much conversation and I'm coming into this pretty needy. Can't wait to be with my community.

Then Sunday night the Bengals are on Primetime, ESPN. Will be our toughest game yet. 5-0 is within our grasp.

For now, I'm gonna try and just concentrate on my breathing. My future presently looks like a walk by faith, it won't be the 1st time.

peace,

blue wednesday

Listening to a Coldplay song presently and the lyric goes "we live in a beautiful world", but sometimes I wonder. I still have this ongoing conflict and it continues to weigh me down. I have gone out of my way to talk in person, but they are continually made unavailable to me. Bascially, they don't want to deal with it, so I'm supposed to move on until something small happens in the future and it becomes bigger than its supposed to be. I'm not comfortable with this, but I'm getting really angry and having lots of guilt around it. Don't try to fix me, I'm processing, blogging, I'll be fine.

If you haven't gone there yet, read Palmer's blog today. The last paragraph is a teaching that pierced my soul. His life brings perspective to mine. I so wish my brother didn't have to suffer. We live in a beautiful world? sometimes i wonder.

peace,

heartbreaking homecoming game

first, let me just say to the students and former students that responded to my previous post, thank you. your words meant more to me than you know. You are the sole reason I am at CCS and I want you to see and experience the true Kingdom of God. Sometimes my role is to stand against the tyranny of religious influences, and in those times, you have my back. Thank you.

Last night was an absolute blast. We lost our homecoming game by an extra point in overtime. That was heartbreaking. However, the guys played their guts out, i was soooo proud of them. To those senior football players who read this blog, I have nothing but love for you, you left your heart on the field. I am still a bit heartbroken this morning with you, trying to get over it. At the same time, my chest is puffed out, I was so proud of my little brothers out there. I saw courage, I saw leadership and I saw warriors showing up in the fight. Good good stuff.

I'm chaperoning homecoming banquet tonight and I have asked my daughter Alison to be my date. Nicki already had the "talk" with her a few weeks ago (she's 8) which is more of an ongoing conversation about healthy sexuality. Tonight I am taking her on a date and showing her the way she deserves to be treated by any dude that takes her out in the future. That is, any guy who has the guts to look me in the eye and tell me their intentions :) I'm looking forward to a fun night w/ Ali, she loves being around the older students.

Oh yeah, got a free ticket to the Bengals game tommorrow vs. the Houston Texans w/ my brother-in-law. Can you say Who Dey again? A big win tommorrow will help me get over the heartbreak of friday night. Regardless, I should lose my voice by the end of the 1st quarter. Prediction: Bengals 31 Texans 17. I'm going to wake up and run 8-10 miles to start my Sunday, that should be good times too.

peace to your weekend,

mmmmmmmmmmmm . . . conflict

Conflict is so fun, so energizing, so full of life, so fulfilling, so meaningful, so . . . whatever. Here are some slogans . . . "Conflict, tastes like chicken", "Conflict, the other white meat", "Conflict, better than a sharp stick in the eye."

Would you guess that I'm in the middle of a conflict on this fine friday? Not only is it just good old fashioned conflict, its with in theory, one of my superiors :) This is a situation where mostly I am just caught in a cross-fire having intended to just try and offer help. Well, sometimes the helper gets it in the behind. What saddens me is the inability to be adult, let alone Kingdom hearted folk. Why does everything have to be personal? If we were secure with who we are in Christ, then we can just talk about the issue. Why can we turn things to be all about "me" and everybody is against "me"? Why can't people's words be taken for what they are, instead of being perceived and seen through our baggage? Conflict is so much fun. I have attempted to "clear the air" with this person and correct any misperceptions, but they have made themselves unavailable to me. I have become the lightning rod of their conflict with many other people, which is a pretty sweet deal for me. I honestly have nothing personal wrapped up in the issue, but I do get the opportunity to carry the emotion of it all weekend or until whenever this individual will meet with me.

You see, I've been here before. Many years ago as the youth pastor on a mult-staffed growing church. The Pastor was hurting and needed help. I offered help and led the staff to try and help. The elders behind all our backs turned to me to take on more of the pastoral leadership behind the pastor's back. The Pastor perceived me as one of the ringleaders for a coup. That wasn't the case, I was trying to help him because I cared, I didn't want his job by any means. But I was the lightning rod. The most mature thing I could do was resign for the better of the Body, I couldn't compete with the perception. (oh yeah, that was the last time I was in formal ministry) The Pastor ended up having a nervous breakdown while in the pulpit a couple months later. What followed for me was about a 4 year depression, that was good times. I don't think this situation will be like that, but that one blindsided me as well. Like I said, conflict is awesome.

I'll part with these words today. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

monking in the real world

I keep coming back to this topic over and over, because I want to be better at it. I want to learn to immerse my life in spiritual disciplines, or as Willard puts it, "off the spot" training, all while living and being in mission to the real world. The Incarnation is our model, the purity of God, becoming man and dwelling amongst them. I am by nature missional, its the monk part I really have to work on.

In today's Finan reading form Celtic Daily Prayer it says, (re: Celtic monastic Christianity) "People could opt for an ordinary life in the world, living the faith within the normal structures of human and political life, or could withdraw from everyday concerns and pursue their Christian vocation either as a solitary or as a member of an intentional community. This radical new alternative was obviously particularly attractive in a time of social upheaval."

I'm learning that the more I quiet my soul with spiritual disciplines, the better leader and apprentice to Jesus I am. I'm also learning that the Kingdom is too much of a "kept secret" and needs to be announced and proclaimed in every sector of the society I live in for the sake of Christ. Monking in the real world is more of an art than a science I suppose. Its a life concept that I never want to give up on, it seems to be what Jesus perfected.

Stop and monk in your world today,

Happy Birthday Creech

Rains, Klinefelter and myself hopped in the car after work yesterday and hauled down to Lexington to party at the new Creech's home (beautiful, spacious community building home). Bean was there from Indy, the Vine & Branches crowd, some folks from St. Patricks and others. Good, good time. Sharing a meal together, givig Crecch some gifts, spontaneous live music and singing, lots of life happenings being shared, theology being knocked around . . . and oh yeah, lots of laughing. Good time. I'm hurting in the sleep dept. today but that's the breaks for this rock n' roll lifestyle being a part of the midwest regional emergin' church dealio.

Will fight through the tiredness and try to do some decent teaching today on the Canon of the N.T., fasting and the spiritual disciplines.

peace unto your day,

3-0 WHO DEY!!!!

The Bengals dismantled the Bears in Chicago today to go 3-0 and they have throttled each of their opponents. I am working on getting tickets to this week's home game (freebies of course) so I can lend my voice to a deafening crowd vs. Houston. Its been 15 years since we made the playoffs and we are ready to leave the desert and taste the promised land. This city is so hungry its about to burst at its seams. We hosted a Who Dey tailgate party for the game today, I hope its the first of many, including some games in January. Forgive my enthusiasm, but its been a long time since we've had a legit good team here in the Nati. I am ecstatic!!

Completed my longest training run this evening in the rain. 10 miles and I was a soaked puppy which made it both more refreshing than the heat, but weighed me down as well. Bean completed his 10 miles yesterday so we are both on track for our Oct. 15 1/2 marathon in Indy. It is so hard training for these races, really takes a lot out of you but at the same time is a big source of accomplishment. This is the longest run on our training regime until we run 13.1 on race day. Christ have mercy.

I'm excited to hang with some regional brothers and sisters tommorrow, more on that to come in a report on Tuesday.

peace,

date night good (insert caveman voice)

thanks to many of you for your encouragement, I breathed it all in, peace to the greater community of God out there in blogdeom.

My wife and I had a great date night last night. No movie, just a progressive night of lots of talking. Great fish dinner at BoneFish Grill (thanks to Rob for the gift certificate). Then we hit a new coffee shop nearby and talked what was on our hearts and the areas we haven't been connecting in. We talked over some future options for me vocationally and for additional schooling. (more on this to come) Our talk brought me great peace and joy, marriage is good :) Then we hit a new local grille by our house that I have been hangin' out getting to know some folk there and we played NTN Texas Hold'em poker. I taught Nicki how to play and we won more than we lost (no real $ of course, just computer talk). Just a great night of connecting that was way overdue. Probably another reason why anxiety has crept into my heart, I literally can't breathe in this life without my wife. I grew up fiercely independent, she has changed all of that. I need her and pray that I provide for her as much as she does me.

Bragging here: My daughter Ali played like a warrior yesterday morning in her soccer game. She prefers defense and plays stellar there, but her team needed to try her on offense. She scored 2 goals and almost scored on 5 more. She is not particulary big but has more speed than anyone on the field. What I love most is her intensity and the way she coaches her fellow players on the field, directing the flow of the team. Hmmmm, an intense leader . . . i like that stuff.

Today is the day the Bengals go 3-0 if they can avoid costly turnovers in Chicago. Prediction Bengals 28 Bears 14

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

taking the Kingdom personally

"From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. 'You do not want to leave too, do you?' Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.' " - John 6:66-69

This passage is in the context of Jesus feeding the 5,000 and his teaching that he is the Bread of life. He is trying to say something that is really a big idea but some couldn't hear it. This seemed to affect Jesus, it seemed to break his heart a bit. Rejection is not much fun, particulary when you care about people and want them to have life.

I sometimes wish I had stuck to teaching Bible as an academic subject instead of diving into the new paradigm of Jesus' kingdom teaching. Because my entire heart is in that teaching, and when students are disinterested, its hard not to take it personally. And I see them in their religious systems, I see them dying, I see them lost, I seem them on paths of self-indulgence and misery, but I can't get their attention. The Kingdom is a difficult teaching and it messes with our presumed worldviews. I can't get out of the way of the message, I take the Kingdom personally and it hurts to care that others do too.

I observe that when Jesus felt overwhelmed and burdened, he got away to be with the Father. That sounds like a good plan for today.

Lord I am hungry and I have nowhere else to go, you have the words of life.

peace,

kingdom reception

"Jesus went through all the towns and villages . . . preaching the good news of the kingdom."

sometimes I wish I didn't care if people understood that or not.

ITS A TRAVESTY!!

excuse me, 911 . . . I'd like to report a robbery.


After countless weeks of being sucked into the gravitational pull of RockStar: INXS, the unthinkable happened. J.D. won. J.D. WON?? The world is more fallen that I had previously supposed. INXS just showed why they have been irrelevant for the past 10 years.

The clear choice was Marty. He has the maturity and the flexibility to take them to new heights. Instead, he'll get his own band and outdo whatever INXS does after the hype calms down. I would have prefered Marty do Nirvana's "Lithium" though instead of the Pink Floyd number.

Mig is a stud. He's a lot of fun to watch and brings energy. He killed Bohemian Rhapsody last night, absolutely fabulous. Somebody may pick him up, but he seems most fit for a dramatic stage.

When J.D.'s name was called last night, I hid in my closet because it blindsided my wife and she is not all too happy today. Nicki McGilivary guaranteed her that J.D. wouldn't win and now she has some explaining to do ;) All in all, good show. I hope they do it again with a band that is a bit more relevant and less self-absorbed. What am I talking about, its rock n roll. Next up . . . Amazing Race begins next Tuesday. Honestly, outside of sports and Monster House, this is the only TV I watch.

may your day be filled with lesser travesties.

Kingdom as irrelevant to students

So, I'm teaching about the Kingdom of God, utilizing Dallas Willard's "Renovation of the Heart" (student ed.) as our textbook for seniors and some juniors at a Christian High School. However, some are extremely attracted to the topic of the "Kingdom" and many could care less. All claim to be in the category of "Christian" but it seems to affect not at all their choice of words, general attitude, treatment of others, sensitivity, love etc. etc.

Basically for some what we're discussing are words to live by, and to some they are completely irrelevant concepts. And this 2nd category of students kinda wear me down because they actually embrace religion to a level that won't last.

So is it just choice? We choose to not care or learn.

Is it that their church experience has not given them a framework for the Kingdom? They have no access points outside of language about heaven, hell and getting saved.

Is it my teaching? I lack creativity or simple enough communication of deep, spiritual topics.

Puberty? They can't get over themselves or see past themselves. Class is a place to be social and show off.

ADD? Its after lunch and the exceptional amounts of sugar intake is too active to overcome.

Classroom management? Because I choose to teach in a relational enviorment without many regualtions, its too loose to be productive.

Its probably a combination of all of the above. Whatever it is, I wish it wasn't so.

Who Dey!

Bengals 37 Vikings 8
The 2005 Bengals are 2-0.

vrrrrmmmm, vrrrmmmmm. That's the sound of the Bengals playoff bus filling up with a full tank of gas for the long haul. There are still a few seats available on the Bengals bandwagon, anyone interested?

The Power Team comes to CCS

So what's not to like? Here are some quotes from their website:


"Proven effective for almost 30 years .
New Integrity and Accountability in place, and maintained by Oversight Boards.
Powerful Results: 2-3 out of every 10 who come, make decisions for Christ.
Averaging a 20% church growth within 12 months following crusade.
Averaging 60% "Unchurched" visitors nightly!
Over 20 world-class athletes performing feats of strength and sharing the
powerful message of the cross.
Rated as the top school assembly, with over 15,000 assemblies completed.
Endorsements and referrals, from hundreds of pastors and government officials."

Well, here is what I didn't like:
- Celebrity driven platform speaking
- Hype
- namedropping to make presenters sound more dynamic
- embellished dynamic stories to manufacture a specific response
- focus on external physical body/strength
- awkward/inappropriate skit between adult male presenter and female teenage student
- fear and guilt as a short-term motivator
- teaching a reduced gospel that involes only being "saved from a devil's hell"
- defining "gospel" as information given
- shameful decision time, pointing out the students who didn't have their hands raised were "in trouble and heading to a devil's hell"
- no focus on the reality of spiritual journey and conversion process
- reinforcing cultural stereotypes of "cool" and "uncool"
- bashing professional wrestling antics while re-enacting them with a Christian label

Was it all bad? nope. I sensed them to be guys of integrity and taught for the beginning about the love of Christ. I'm down with that stuff. I just believe its important to be discerning about everything we are influenced by, regardless if it has a Christian label on it or not. I hope some of my students at least thought about it, instead of just being entertained.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

a Kingdom that has come

Mary ann mentioned Kingdom Come in her last comment. I'm sitting here in bed watching Rock Star: INXS and reading a little N.T. Wright "Challenge of Jesus". This is a book I've decided to re-read and in chapter 2 I came upon this quote:

"When they longed for the kingdom of God, they were not thinking about how to secure themselves a place in heaven after they died. There phrase 'kingdom of heaven' which we find frequently in Matthew's Gospel where the others have 'kingdom of God' does not refer to a place, called 'heaven' where God's people will go after death. It refers to the rule of heaven, that is, of God, being brought to bear in the present world. Thy kingdom come, said Jesus, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Jesus' contemporaries knew that the creator God intended to bring justice and peace to his world here and now. The question was, how, when and through whom?"

That is such a big idea, I can hardly grasp it. Kingdom has come, and even tonight as I still am hurting a bit, I know its presence is right here. And that comforts me.

peace to your house tonight,

now it makes more sense

I've been wondering why I had this melancholy song in my head listed below. I had forgotten that there was a 3rd interview with our son Zach at home today with my wife. Its the school district giving us some attention. They are pushing ahead all of the paperwork but have bigger concerns. They are concerned over some sensory issues w/ Zach and will send an occupational therapist out to observe him in the next few days. We are thankful for the help and the resources, but frankly it makes my wife and I a bit emotional. As far as we know, it was just a learning disability issue. Now it seems that we will be testing him for many other issues.

All of that just breaks my heart. I don't want my son to suffer. I don't want him to be sick. I don't want him to struggle. But there are no guarantees in this life are there? Our human condition is ruined and sometimes that hurts. so . . . today I hurt.

Fix You (Coldplay)

(I'm just loving this song by Coldplay lately)

Fix you

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And i…
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And i…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

monday monday

Not a bad weekend at all. Friday night high school football game, very proud of our guys who were outmanned the moment they hit the field. Particularly the seniors stuck it out and played with a lot of heart. Did I mention I was very proud of them?

Saturday morning, my 2 daughters had the idea of selling lemonade to all the soccer game fans behind our house to raise $$ for Hurrican Katrina victims. In 2 hours, we made $68. We'll be doing that again.

I won't mention the Ohio State game from Saturday night because I haven't gotten over it and apparently I woke up the entire house at midnight screaming at the TV in some foreign tongue, because I'm sure that I dont' use those words. But my wife made a point of letting me know exactly what I said :(

Sunday was full. A Community Gathering at our house of OCC and after our meal and kids time, we discussed an opportunity through resettle to use the majority of our resources over the coming year to make a difference in atleast one family by moving them up here to the Nati temporarily or permanently if they like. We are making a year committment to furnish an apartment and make a wholistic lifestyle for somebody who today thinks they have no hope to pick up the pieces. For us, its just a natural application to I John 3:17-18, "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth." This is the biggest commitment OCC has ever taken on and we are stepping out in faith, yet very excited.

Bengals win, beat the Brownies. It was our 1st step to a playoff run. The bandwagon is rolling slowly, anybody want a ticket? If/when the Bengals make it to a Super Bowl again, there will be an Epic party at my house. nuff said.

In my training to run the Indy 1/2 marathon on October 15, I waited til the heat passed and ran 8 miles last night. It felt reasonably good, my first good run in weeks. I've been struggling. Now I'm hopeful I can be ready for the race w/ Bean. However, today I am quite sore.

Come on Monday, let's see what you got!

peace,

well . . . that was a first

Last night was my last class of NT Survey at Indiana Wesleyan University (cincy campus) for this cohort. They took their exam, handed in their final paper and then I gave them my last lecture which was on Revelation. This has been a diverse class of skeptics, seekers and followers. They shared that this class was one of the ones in their program that they were terrified of because of all their negative church experiences. Instead they said it was one of their favorites. This has less to do with my teaching than it does the compelling nature of Jesus' life and teachings.

I explained the typical arguments and disagreements over how to interpret this apocalyptic literature. I gave them all sides to the discussion and then ended with about a 15 minute explanation of my overall view of the Kingdom of God. I proclaimed about the new heaven and the new earth and that we actually partner with God on their creation. That I don't believe the rapture is us leaving to go anywhere, but rather an unveiling of this new heaven and earth (parousia/apakolupsis). That the Kingdom has already come in the person of Jesus Christ. That the Kingdom is all around us in the same quality that exists in the heavenly realm. That death is a passage into the fullness of that Kingdom, now we have quality, then we will have quantity too. That the Kingdom is the natural way to live, it is the essence of being the human you were created to be. That the only way to experience the Kingdom of God is through the person of Jesus Christ. That heaven is not a place far away, but a realm very near to us now. That hell is God giving us over to alienation for eternity, which is what we've chosen all along. That heaven and hell are not so much places to go, but states of being. One in alienation, one in perfect communion with the Creator. And that there are "thin places" here on earth where the presence of God can be encountered in its fullness and it leads to total transformation. These portals to the Kingdom are the spiritual disciplines and any follower of the Kingdom needs to embrace these as breath and life. All of Revelation is a love story of Jesus longing for us and returning to us.

And then it happened . . . they clapped. Never had that happen after a lecture. I believe that they were agreeing with what their souls long for > Truth. God's unadulterated Truth revealed has a way of stirring your soul. I count it a blessing to be a conduit for His Truth and Power.

Its been a hard week, but this was a good night.

peace,

a pondering . . .

so this morning I sit, thinking about it all,
some days its enough to just stand without one fall,
what is my purpose and why am I here?
why does my heart fill with so much fear?
i don't like what I see and I don't like where I am,
and if i thought of the right changes, do I believe that I can?
doubts and questions, ponderings for sure,
there is no guarantee that makes this life secure,
darkness and beauty exist in the same breath,
while somewhere in New Orleans the air wreaks of death,
its not about hope, seems more to do with faith,
just some mornings i wonder how much more i can take,
so today the heart is heavy, i hardly even know why,
i wish i had the time to just let myself cry,
brokeness is not evil, most times it leads to good,
often leads me to the thoughts and the actions i should,
some days its just a battle, the reality is war,
its time for me to wake up for the Enemy is at my door,

may you find peace in your ponderings today,

Religion and Jesus don't mix

There is a religiosity in the air sometimes and its stench wreaks. Usually it comes out in the form of judgmentalism towards others and guilt/shame within ourselves. Jesus called us to love our neighbors and experience freedom for ourselves, but somehow religion is just easier to do.

I kid you not that in my classroom that as I projected images of the hurricane in order to spur on a time of prayer, some students chose to mock it and be glad for a judgment on those sinners in Mardi Gras, or that the frenchies down there deserved it. Now I understand what hormones are, and how guys like to show off in front of the ladies and how sarcasm makes you noticed and cool, but this was too far. Some were just stating what had already been taught them re: this storm at church or home. Frankly, it enraged me. I honestly don't know how to teach in that moment. The students are used to me being easy going, but there's a side of me that is tired of the religiosity and wants to overthrow tables. How far should my compassion go in the ways of "boys will be boys" to "sometimes you need a swift kick in the pants"? We'll see how today goes but I just thought I would point this out lest we think the Pharisees died a long time ago.

I hate religion, I love the ways of Jesus. Teach me today Lord to know the difference between the two.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

An Invitation

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavey or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

Been meditating on this invitation the past couple of days and having students journal on it, so I thought I'd blog it. We are studying the topic of Spiritual Formation which is all about the unforced rythms of grace. I admit that I"m still learning exactly what that means. Its a mystical and spiritual process of being drawn into His presence and walking in it completely changed from the inside of my heart. Today in my heart, I feel sad for those suffering through the hurricane. I can hear the cries of people calling from their underwater homes last night. Some of them left their life on earth last night as I slept. I pray that God knows and is present with them.

peace,

God is good

Am in the middle of training for another 1/2 marathon on 10/15 in Indy w/ Bean and Bowen but am struggling to up my miles. Yesterday I did another 6 miles and then dehydrated before I could finish the 7th. I have 7 weeks to be at 13 miles . . . great googly moogly.

Now to the God is good part. I had the privelege of being invited to go with Todd and Jamie Minniear from OCC to Todd's mom's house for a conversation with her. Cheryl has been wrestling with cancer for I believe 5-6 years and is now at the point of it being terminal. She is having lots of questions particularly about life after death. We were able to share w/ her about God's grace and salvation through His Son in the life we have now and the life yet to come. She shared about her life and powerfully confessed some personal things that have been on heart for a long time. It was a time of reconciliation and making things right, very cool stuff. Then we shared more about the love of Christ and a life in God. We had a time of prayer to conclude and Cheryl entered into the Kingdom of God during that time. As well we prayed for her healing as she wants as much time as she can get with her family and enjoy her grandkids. When we came, her face was full of fear. When we left, the burden had been lifted and peace ruled her heart. I am in awe that God uses us to communicate and embody His love for His missing children. Truly, truly, God is good.

Now I'm to try and communicate this love and truth to Christian High School students who have heard it all before.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

Did I mention I was filthy rich?

The reality of my wealth in social capital was proven yet again last night. Its been about 5 months or so since we had a full blown "fight club" meeting and it started back up last night. Rains, Canipe, Johnson and myself sipping coffee, cracking jokes and pondering on Kingdom topics. We just picked up right where we left off, that's when you know that friendship is deep. It was great to catch up. These meetings just put my life in perspective and energize my faith and leadership. It is not good to be alone, finding just one or more others that you can bear your soul with is to be sought after more than gold or silver.

George Barna is coming out with a new book in which he describes "Revolutionaries". He says he can now quantify that there is a population of 20 million Americans who have left church in order to more authentically follow Jesus. Meaning 20 million have left church but not Church. He says many of them have gone underground in spiritual mini-movements in which house churces/missional communities are one version of. He also estimates that in the next 10 years that # will double. The jury is out on why this is happening or if he's completely right in his estimations. What I do know is that he is describing me. I am not at all angry w/ church, (well atleast not anymore) but I do know that I feel at home in small missional communities and am willing to spend the rest of my life asking for God's Kingdom to come in my neighborhood.

We noted last night that the power of these spiritual mini-movements is in that they are contextual. There is not one cohesive idea or model that everyone needs to embrace. America no longer has just one culture. America is a mosaic of diverse cultures and sub-cultures and the Church should look the same. The issue is not models, the issue is the Incarnation of the Kingdom of God. Mini or mega or something in-between, figure out who you are and get about living it out. I don't have time to argue. With my time left on earth I want to invite others into the experience of Kingdom Come and take on whatever sacrifices that entails. Be the Church today.

peace,

Holy Moses I am tired

pause for a moment of complaining: Yesterday was a long day, teaching in my day job from 8:00 - 3:00, then prepped for my night teaching job 3:00-5:00, then got home to say "hi" to my family, eat dinner and leave to teach my night job from 6:00-10:00. I got home around 11, in bed by 12, woke up at 3:00 a.m. with anxiety (which has happened most nights this week) and then up at 6:00 a.m. to start again. The teaching is all going well but for all my effort, I can only just barely keep up with simple bills. I work 4 different jobs (1 full time and 3 part-time) and my wife works 1 part-time and we can still barely make ends meet. Thank God we don't have much debt outside of our mortgage. Its just frustrating that maxing out my workload is bare minimum to get by. At the same time as I complain, people around the world are starving and have no employment, so my venting is in context. Nothing is guaranteed in life, and faith is not w/out struggle. I thank God for His provision but still feel the tension of my toil and tiredness. Ok, moment is over.

Read this today in Celtic Daily Prayer: "Friendship requires honesty. Friends do not need you to be 'up' all the time - instead they enable you to be more vulnerable." For all my complaining about not having much financially, I am filthy rich with these kind of friends. I mean, I have never had the kinds of close friends with whom I can be intimate and real with than I do now. I am poor in finances and rich in social capital, go figure.

peace of Christ upon your day,

Is brokeness an okay place to be?

I woke up a few times last night, feeling pretty restless. Over breakfast and the drive to work I was filled with prayers for brothers and sisters of mine that are hurting right now. Then it just hits me and I feel utterly broken. I feel broken between what "is" and what "should be". We have an unshakeable Kingdom, but we live in the pig stye. The Kingdom is all around us, yet we find ourselves in darkness. Healing is within our grasps, yet suffering continues. Hope is our calling card, yet we proclaim legalism. Freedom is our destiny, yet we choose our bonds.

Then I find myself pointing out everybody else's "stuff" only to realize the enormous plank in my own eye. I am sinful, I am broken, I choose selfishness, I live in death when life is before me, I am what I loathe, I do the things that cause brokeness not just in my heart, but in the heart of Abba. Not in a guilt trip kind of way, but in a relationally distant kind of way. I long for a different kind of spiritual life for me, one that is in step with His ways. I long for a different kind of Church, one that is communed with His Spirit and Truth. And the gap between that longing and the present reality is what causes me brokeness. And frankly, I would rather be broken than settle for status quo.

So today my choice is to worship and reflect. Find my way back to His heart and dwell there a bit. He doesn't move, I do. He doesn't need to change, I do. So may change follow me today.

peace,

Back to School

Today is the 1st day of school and in Christian School style, we began with a 45 min. guilt-trip assembly to keep order. I suppose structure is needed in any group setting but what I can never understand is why teachers/authority require respect but don't seem obliged to give respect to students. I've always notices that when I give students the benefit of the doubt, they respond to me respectfully.

Another side note is that its great having Aaron Klinefelter on staff. Somebody else to interpret reality with and influence students in healthy ways. He is teaching some Bible, doing a Cisco training class and full-time overwhelmed as the resident IT artist. I'm sure he is at full culture shock of the christian school enviorment by now.

Celtic Daily Prayer really struck me today in the Finan reading:

We are peculiar. We have chosen not to go with the majority. Whe shall pray and reflect on the life of Christ: most people don't do this . . . But there has probably never been a time in history when the majority of people were seriously seeking Him!

We are not different because our shirts are tucked in or because our hair is cut short or because I don't have my ear ring in or because my tattoo isn't showing. (all rules to live by here at CCS) We are different because of His transforming love. It changes us, makes us think and live differently. It causes us to seek life instead of dabble in things that are dead. I want to seek the life within His love today.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

2 weeks since my last blog

Geez, that's a confession. It is due to the end of summer and the busyness of getting back to school rather than things to talk about. Sorry to many of my loyal readers, with school starting on Monday, I'll be back to my normal structure. I am incredibly unproductive outside of a decent structure.

Last night was the 2nd session of my next NT Survey course that I'm teaching at Indiana Wesleyan and the class is incredibly diverse. We are split between a handful of honest religious skeptics, people somewhere in the middle and a few Christ followers as well. It is fun and challenging to teach. I told my wife the other day that it is so much more fun than much of what I done in past ministry experiences because I am on the edge of trying to communicate the Kingdom to those who just don't buy it. Mostly I just sit back and let Truth handle itself, not just in content but in the Spirit as well.

My daytime teaching gig starts on Monday and besides my year-long NT Survey course there, I am teaching 4 quarter long courses to seniors. The first quarter is on spiritual formation and we will be using the student version of Dallas Willard's "Rennovation of the Heart" (Thanks to Bean Books. Check is in process, Bean :) I am really looking forward to our conversations and personally I'm looking forward to learning with them as well. Its all about transformation into the way we were always destined to be in the Kingdom.

Well, I'm off to have coffee w/ McGillivary. These meetings are my lifeblood. I suppose its the equivalent of an OCC staff meeting.

much love and peace to y'all and I promise to be back w/ more Kingdom goodness,

busy, busy end of summer

Just returned from 6 days of vacation with my family and my brother-in-law's family. We went to my wife's parents' condo on a plantation/lake/country club down in Georgia outside of Atlanta. It was pretty plush and scenic and hot. Lots of pool time with the kids and tubing off the pontoon boat. Good relaxing time sandwiched in between 2 long drives there and back.

Now I'm home for 1 day before I head out of town for the next 3 days camping on Rains' land with Bean and Johnson. We will catch the Father Creech for lunch on Wednesday and brave the extreme heat in KY. I'm sure adventures will follow and there will be stories to be told. The last time we camped, it was 19 degrees, Wednesday is supposed to be 95. We seem to choose the extremes.

Reading Palmer's blog is just stunning. He's making progress physically, spirits seemed to be high but the reality of a $220K medical bill is unbelievable. There is very little I can do to help, with the exception of continued prayer and emotional support. I don't even have a spare $220 right now to give. So I've decided to go back into training for another 1/2 marathon and dedicate that to Palmer again. Running keeps me focused on the fight and gives me time to pray. I will be running with Bean at the Indy 1/2 marathon in October and then will begin my focus on training for the full Flying Pig Marathon in Cincy next Spring. That would be my first marathon and I will use it to raise funds for the Palmers again. When you don't know what to do, I suppose its best to do something. Marathon training is a huge committment, particularly for a dude my size, but it is turning into a calling with a real-life purpose. In the 95 degree heat, I started my training this morning. One phrase fills my mind in the hard times . . . "I'm running for Palmer".

stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

spiritual formation

"We can say, in a preliminary manner, that spiritual formation for the Christian basically refers to the Spirit-driven process of forming the inner world of the human self in such a way that it becomes like the inner being of Christ himself. In what follows we must carefully examine what this means for today. But we can say at the outset that, in the degree to which spiritual formation in Christ is successful, the outer life of the individual becomes a natural expression or outflow of the character and teachings of Jesus." -Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart

One of Ordinary Community's values is Authenticity. What we mean is that we believe that Christ following is basically about transformation. Its not about "going to church", its about becoming the people of God. (going to church may be a means to that end, but its not the whole point) If we want to authentically call ourselves Christ followers, then our life has to look like His. We are to be His apprentices. We must die continually so He might become more alive through us.

I am becoming increasingly more aware of inner parts of me that are not dying well. Why do I clutch so hard to things that are full of death? Why don't I run to the One who offers completeness, wholeness, peace, contentment . . . life?

Nicki and I were doing some pre-marital counseling with a couple I'm marrying this fall and we were discussing "pigitis", or our own selfishness and how it plays out in marriage. Just bringing up the topic causes me to look inward and see my incredibly selfish heart. I have so much dying to do.

Lord forgive me for my pursuit of things that are dead and lead me to the waters that give life. I miss you.

peace,

why is slowing down so hard?

Every year I have lots of goals and objectives for the summer schedule. I have books I want to read, projects I want to write on and time I want to spend in solitude. But rarely do I ever achieve them. My extrovert nature has me running all over the place, meeting lots of people, seeing movies, being productive but not in any sense of solitude. I wonder at times if I run from the intimacy that I so desire w/ the Father? That its just too much and too intense for me. If I sit and take it in, I just want to get up and start doing someting. I want to improve in this area but it requires so much discipline. Will be going camping for 3 days with Glenn Johnson and Bill Bean and I hope that will provide some time for solitude, reflection and big picture thinking.

Running may also help in this area. Am beginning my training for 2 half-marathons, one in September and one in October. These training times make my mind slow down and become disciplined. The physical and the spiritual are intertwined.

Why do I sometimes sabotage what I actually need? Why am I a better talker and thinker than a doer? The conclusion is always the same, I need a Savior. I am not well, my soul is yet sick and needs healing. It wouldn't be just "nice" if I could have some time for Jesus, I am utterly desperate for it. By the way, so are you :) I am feeling a need to commune with Him in some times of intimacy. Why does my heart stray? It just makes no sense.

Jesus, I am desperate for you.

late night blogging

just got back from watching War of the Worlds with the studious Glenn Johnson and not its almost 1:00 a.m. and my mind is thinking. The first thing I do when I'm online is check Palmer's blog for updates and this is what I found tonight:

"Tomorrow morning at 10 am I will be discharged from the hospital and moved to a full time rehabilitation center where I will learn such basic functions as walking, dressing myself, and keeping my head up high in public. The rehab hospital I will be in is Dodd Hall which is only 1 block away from where I am now. The excellence of this hospital is recognized around the country. Unfortunately, it all comes with a price...my treatment will be $2,000 a day and 80% of that needs to be paid up front because of our insurance issues (a total of $16,000). We came up with the initial $6,000 this afternoon. We have another $6,000 due on Friday and $4,000 due next Tuesday. We currently cannot afford to make that second $6,000 payment or the following $4,000. So, once again we need God to directly intervene on our behalf, because I need this rehab in order to walk again and to be able to function in my daily schedule." -Palmer

I have thoughts that I just don't understand. Coming out of the movie, my mind brought me to Psalm 8, "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" At first I found this poetic, just to sit back and reflect on how Great God is and how small we are. How completely and wholly Other He is, nothing like our feebleness. And yet . . . He cares.

But how does He care? Sometimes I have no freaking clue. Why, why, why, why does Palmer have to suffer? His last 3 years have been suffering and yet he's a servant. And now just to get better, he is faced with bills that are way out of any of our means. Many of us have exhausted our resources to try and raise $ and encourage the Palmers and yet our funds are well short of their need. When I quit vocational ministry, I cut my salary by 66% just for the opportunity to plant missional communities. I'm not the only one, many of us are just getting by financially. So when these kind of needs come, we have very little to pull from. But what about God who has this mysterious way of caring? His table is known to be limitless with resources, yet we toil, struggle and watch our brother suffer.

I know it seems so unspiritual to doubt at times but why does Job 7 exist? "Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul . . . What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment?" Is all of this a test? A cosmic exam to pass? I wonder and I wonder why His caring is so mysterious. I know the ending of Job, I've read it a few times before, I understand its wisdom but its all still mysterious. I know that if you ask God a bunch of questions that you better be ready for some in return like "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" The only way to answer that question is to become quite feeble and small. That isn't the issue, the issue is He said He cares, but why is His caring so mysterious and why must His servant suffer?

Sometimes these questions are poetic and beautiful, and sometimes they just haunt the inside of my soul.

peace to you on this late night,

home again

Its good to be home and with family again. Its time to catch up with friends and share some experiences and get back to normal. Had coffee with Paul McGillivary this morning and those are becoming addicting. We have had hundreds of these kinds of meetings and they could go on for hours. We just speak on Kingdom issues and things we're thinking about, I guess they are our OCC staff meetings and I would be okay with having one daily. Going to a movie with Glenn Johnson today and it will be good to catch up with him as well. Scheduled a lunch with K-Rains next week and am planning a trek to Indy to see the legendary Bill Bean. A monastic camping retreat is also on the calendar for some solitude, reflection and prayer.

I will be blogging on this more but came home to my autographed copy of Jim Henderson's 1st book, "a.k.a. Lost: Discovering ways to connect with the People Jesus Misses Most." Its a book on doable evangelism and I can't wait to sit down and read it. Jim has been hugely influential in my life as God hooked us up back in 1998 when I was in a real fragile place. He mentored me over the next 3-4 years and his ideas were foundational to what Ordinary Community would become. He helped me be myself in ministry and set me up for a new chapter in my ministry life. We met at 7:30 a.m. at Starbucks every friday morning for about 2 years and I remember when he would share his ideas on doable evangelism when they were raw in his heart and now they are in book form for all to read. His take on "ordinary attempts" have changed the way Nicki and I see God's missing children, I think y'all need to read it :)

I have reflected on many things on my journey and my mind is pretty active on a lot of topics right now. Most acutely is the need for me to put some more energy into what apostolic relational networks could look like and be more intentional. I'm also thinking of how to be more intentional about passing on our values, theology and ways of reproducing Kingdom communities to the next generation. What could their training look like in real life? How can we provide a kind of "life on life" training model where the Kingdom is more caught than taught? I'm also wondering about what kinds of new communities could we start up this year. I'm feeling the urge to take some more land as long as that means people finding Jesus to be the center of their reality.

Its good to be home but no rest for the weary. The War rages on.

peace,

back to western culture

we arrived in Frankfurt, Germany this morning and i can say that i was ready for the comforts that the West provides. you realize how spoiled we are when you have to do without. we have a pretty decent hotel with a pool and gives us a comfy place to chill and catch up on sleep.

my last couple days in india went real well. met up with 2 of jim hendersons friends. 1st was jacob isaacs of kerygma coffee house. he is a bro, if i lived there in bangalore, i would make sure to spend a lot of time with him. his ministry philosophy is very kin to mine and he had more a grasp on india and its youth culture than anybody i met there. a very bright guy and i tried to convince him to start blogging cuz many of you need to know him too. Bert cherian was the 2nd guy, another extremely intelligent and passionate thinker. we talked over many topics re: busniness, world affairs, church, transformation issues and the like. really enjoyed my time with him. good to hang out with a couple guys who are not so steeped in traditional church.

now im paying for my internet time in the cafe in downtown frankfurt so thats all for now. catch y all soon.

peace,

India Report # 9

I have now completed the teaching portion of my trip and I am quite relieved. I have taught 41 times in 11 days. It makes me quite tired. At the same time I have been very well received and have gotten numerous invitations to return and teach more. I feel very content that I accomplished what I came here to do. Particularly being able to share the house church model yesterday with about 60 pastors, many of them took it to heart. Some of their eyes were as big as saucers as if I was giving them the cure to cancer. I children I taught as well were very receptive to me. It was the seminary students though that I felt the most connection with feel I made the largest impact. Some of them wanted to make sure how much it meant to them and how many pages of notes they took and will keep to study over. God is good.

I went out again last night on the motorcycle to another village. This time we went into the homes of 2 families that were unbelievers. They are open to learning more about Jesus so I was able to share some stories about Jesus in their home while sitting under the mantle of their Hindu idol whom they worship. If their was any demonic force attached to those idols, I can't think they were very happy. They were very receptive and seemed to listen intently. Then they would bring their children to me that I would bless them. In their culture, this is the role of the Hindu Guru, usually in exchange for $. I prayed over these children in the name of Jesus and then turned and thanked them for the opportunity. May the Holy Spirit use these interactions to draw them into the Kingdom.

I will be meeting with a couple friends of Jim Henderson's tommorrow in Bangalore and then we fly to Germany tommorrow night. This will be my last blog from India as the next one will come from Europe most likely.

Keep Nicki in your prayers today as she is attending to her Grandma's funeral. I so wish I could be there.

peace,

India Report # 8

Had a real good day yesterday. Finally being healthy I feel like a brand new person and have the energy to finish my teaching strong. I had a lot of time yesterday to relax and just have some conversations which was a first in about a week.

SHHHHHHH . . . nobody tell my wife . . . but I rode a motorcycle last night :) The Pastor from the church I spoke at on Sunday took me out on his motorcycle to some villages and do some sight-seeing. We were just exchanging stories and cultures as we zipped past water buffaloes and sheep herders. We got out to take a walk at a scenic area, a dam and water purifying plant. As we were walking along a path he was telling me a story of how a few years back he struck and killed a King Cobra in his house that wandered in. This freaked me out a bit but I didn't let on. I asked him in what areas they live in and he said "all around here, like in bushes like that one" (pointing to one we were just passing). That was more reality than I needed. I just tried to ignore the possibility of meeting a cobra and chose to just find my happy place.

We traveled to villages and met with some new followers of Christ who were the only followers in their village. So we entered their homes, knelt on mats and then they asked me to pray for them, their families, their home and their ministry in that village. This was such an honor. Now when I say home, I mean a mud hut, thatch roof, mud floor and a few electrical wires. Usually 2 rooms, maybe 8 x 8. I have seen this before but it is still shocking and I couldn't help but have memories of visiting Homerama in Cincinnati and walking through the 1-3 million dollar houses. The comparisons are enough to make you lose your lunch. The disproportion of wealth in this world is quite staggering. I don't think we're supposed to live in guilt, but I do think that we have to use our high place of influence to educate for awareness and to do our part in helping. It costs $40 a month to support an orphan here at the house of Joy. That gives them a great shot here to go to college and come back and be a leader in their villae. That's what I call changing the world. My wife and I have supported Compassion International children since college, its the cost of a few pizzas a month. I am wondering outside of educating about poverty what other things God may be leading us to do.

peace,

India Report # 7

It is Monday of our last week and I've noticed that they don't celebrate the 4th of July much over here. No parade, no fireworks scheduled, no hamburgers and hot dogs, no cornhole tournaments . . . I don't get it, where is their Patriotism??? To be fair, in September they do have their own Independence Day where they celebrate their breaking of the ties with England in 1949. What it is about the English that make other countries want to kick them out all the time? (im just kidding to all my friends out there in the UK)

Maybe you could already tell but I'm feeling much better, just about 100%. Fever gone, aches gone, headache gone, stomach nausea gone, stomach issues? Can you say "solid stool sample"? Because as of today, I can!!!! Hallelujah and thank you Jesus. Thank you for all your prayers.

I spoke at a church service yesterday in a village nearby on Psalm 27 "Tasting the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Kingdom Now) There were about 40-50 people, they sit on mats segragated by gender and the children are always a part of the whole service, all 3 hours of it. I love their family style services here, children are a part of the whole community. The bongos were the only instrument used for leading worship and they clapped each song as well, it had a very tribal feel and really spoke to me. There were monkeys climbing the trees outside which was my first sighting of them here for me. They are neighborhood nuisances like Racoons are to us in the states. Afterwards, an elderly gentlemen who spoke no english came to me with a packet of like lotion oil and through much interpretation I realized that he wanted me to pray for the oil to make it a healing balm for his eyes. They have a wives tale in their culture of a great white healer, I guess he thought he'd give me a shot. I prayed over him and the oil in the name of Jesus.

Today I spoke in chapel to the seminary students for the final time on spiritual warfare in ministry. I decided since I was leaving soon that I would let it rip. The students and faculty seemed to appreciate it but they are not used to folk like me. I felt encouraged afterwards as a couple students showed me all the notes they took during my teaching and that they are usually timid and fearful but I had given them a different perspective. If my brashness can get the timid and fearful into this war with us then this trip has been well worth it. That really touched me.

I will be visiting some homes in surrounding villages tonight, tommorrow I will be doing a house church seminar and then my teaching will be pretty much complete. I am trying to arrange to visit a couple friends of Jim Hendersons in Bangalore then on Wednesday evening or Thursday before we fly out and that I'm very much looking forward to.

Stop and taste the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living today,

India Report # 6

What do you do when you are backed against the wall? You draw your sword and start fighting your way out. I have awoken this morning at 5 a.m. with each of my last 3 teachings absolutely living within me. They are longing to come forth. I desire for each one of them to be a lethal blow into the gut of our Enemy. It burdens me to have to suffer physically here and he is the one who brought sickness into this world. It burdens me to be separated from my wife during this time of grieving Grandma Cecil and he is the one who desires death for all of us. It burdens me that Palmer is having to continue to suffer in his healing and that Amy has to continue her long suffering, the enemy dances in our dark nights of the soul.

Well, here I am again. War is at my doorstep and I am suiting up. Today I will speak on the invitation of the Father to a life of intimacy. Tommorrow I will speak to the seminary students on pastoral ministry as spiritual warfare. On Tuesday, I am going to a local village gathering of pastors to plant the infectious virus of small Kingdom communities (house churches). If God allows, I want them to see an alternative model of planting missional small churches that can spread through villages without the limitations of physical space. That meta idea is bigger than any 2 hour counsel I could give but I want to see them set free to love their neighbors and invite their people into the eternal Kingdom Community.

If all goes well, I will visit the Kerygma Coffee House in Bangalore on Wednesday or Thursday. Johnny Baker pointed me to this urban student ministry and it sounds like my flavor of Kingdom. That would be icing on the cake.

Discouragement may have its time, but it doesn't stick to Jesus Followers very well. Sickness passes, heartbreak goes away but I feel filled with Resurrection Life. I walk in the Ways of the Christ who touched the coffin of the widow's dead son and he awoke from the entrapment of death. I walk in the ways of the Christ who disguised himself on Christmas evening as an innocent baby, but in reality was invading our world with the keys and the power of the Eternal Kingdom of God. I walk in the Ways of Christ who walked this earth and had demons cry out for mercy, wanting to be cast into a herd of pigs rather than deal with the Reality of Kindom Come in Him. Where I see the enemy today, I will thrust my sword into his gut and will not relent until he departs squealing like the swine that he is.

peace to you and your house today,

India Report #5

Who is the person who coined the phrase, "when it rains, it pours." whoever it is, that's a wise person.
I spent the day out and about in Bangalore mostly relaxing and shopping with my Mom and Ali. My fever finally full broke in the middle of the day and has left me a case of uncotrollable sweats a few times but the pain has passed. Thank you and thank you for all you praying for me.

Got the email I didn't want tonight, My wife's grandma passed away last night. She had always been someone who was very close to my wife and very close to all of my children. The first time I met Cecil, she welcomed me as her own grandson and I absolutely adored her. I know this seems strange, but she is someone that I always wanted to speak at her funeral because I just have so many honoring things to say. But now I am stuck here, really no way to get out of the country before Thursday and I'm sure they'll make funeral arrangements before then. That just rips my heart out. I mentioned to Ali tonight that it was really hard for me to not be there for Mommy tonight and Ali put her hand on my arm and said, "at least we have each other." Didn't somebody say that unless your a child you can't receive the Kingdom of God or something??

I want to share that one of the last conversations I had with Cecil was in my backyard, sitting in the sun the week before we left. It was just her and I and she pointed to me and said, "Chris, I've lived my life and I've lived a full one. I have no regrets. You go LIVE your life." The emphasis was on "LIVE". I will never forget that and may I be faithful to her charge.

In a touch of irony, I am speaking at a worship service in the morning and my passage was alreday Psalm 123, "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want". It is a traditional funeral passage so I will use Cecil as an illustration and grieve in my own way in a land far away. This all just feels so eeril similar to how I felt being stuck in the Ukraine 2 years ago when Jennifer Palmer passed and I couldn't be with my brother. Tonight I long to be with my wife and it hurts to be so far away.

Wherever you are tonight, go LIVE your life.

India Report #4

I have spent the past 36 hours wrestling in bed with a pretty bad fever and body aches. Yesterday afternoon, a Dr. here on campus gave me some sample antibiotics and I hope they are doing the trick. Its 3:00 a.m. and I'm awake now due to a splitting headache that I can't shake. I haven't eaten anything in a couple days with the exception of water. Most likely, I am going to cancel my teaching trip as even if I could make the trek, I wouldn't be much of a teacher. My stomach feels so nauseated and I long for some American food. All I want to do is drink and some Gatorade or something of the sort would be real good right now to replenish my electrolytes and give me some sugar.

On a different note, from what I understand since I've been sick in bed, Ali has been keeping students and workers here busy playing Go Fish and Barbie Uno. She doesn't mind being the center of attention (kind of a Marshall thing) and her joy is an international language. She has made great friends with a few of the orphans and they come knocking at her door to play each evening. "Ali, come play now" (insert Indian/British accent). It amazes me how well she has adjusted to being in a foreign land. She hasn't complained about the food and hasn't mentioned any of her comforts in America. She is just going with the flow. That makes me very proud.

peace to wherever you are this day and may your head feel better than mine,

India Report #3

Need prayer, had a real bad night. Throughout my teaching yesterday I started feeling weak and getting the chills. After my last teaching last night, I began coming down w/ a fever. I wrestled all night with aches and pains due to the high fever. In addition, my stomach is very upset and I can't keep food in, so I'm as well feeling dehydrated and weak. The fever has broken for the moment but I still feel very weak. Pray that I can rest well today because I'm scheduled to leave for the weekend to a remote village to do some more teaching. That area will not have any of the comforts that I have here and I cannot eat or drink anything I come into contact with there. So its pretty imperative that I'm well before we depart. I need God to intervene, please pray.

peace to you,