late night blogging

just got back from watching War of the Worlds with the studious Glenn Johnson and not its almost 1:00 a.m. and my mind is thinking. The first thing I do when I'm online is check Palmer's blog for updates and this is what I found tonight:

"Tomorrow morning at 10 am I will be discharged from the hospital and moved to a full time rehabilitation center where I will learn such basic functions as walking, dressing myself, and keeping my head up high in public. The rehab hospital I will be in is Dodd Hall which is only 1 block away from where I am now. The excellence of this hospital is recognized around the country. Unfortunately, it all comes with a price...my treatment will be $2,000 a day and 80% of that needs to be paid up front because of our insurance issues (a total of $16,000). We came up with the initial $6,000 this afternoon. We have another $6,000 due on Friday and $4,000 due next Tuesday. We currently cannot afford to make that second $6,000 payment or the following $4,000. So, once again we need God to directly intervene on our behalf, because I need this rehab in order to walk again and to be able to function in my daily schedule." -Palmer

I have thoughts that I just don't understand. Coming out of the movie, my mind brought me to Psalm 8, "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" At first I found this poetic, just to sit back and reflect on how Great God is and how small we are. How completely and wholly Other He is, nothing like our feebleness. And yet . . . He cares.

But how does He care? Sometimes I have no freaking clue. Why, why, why, why does Palmer have to suffer? His last 3 years have been suffering and yet he's a servant. And now just to get better, he is faced with bills that are way out of any of our means. Many of us have exhausted our resources to try and raise $ and encourage the Palmers and yet our funds are well short of their need. When I quit vocational ministry, I cut my salary by 66% just for the opportunity to plant missional communities. I'm not the only one, many of us are just getting by financially. So when these kind of needs come, we have very little to pull from. But what about God who has this mysterious way of caring? His table is known to be limitless with resources, yet we toil, struggle and watch our brother suffer.

I know it seems so unspiritual to doubt at times but why does Job 7 exist? "Therefore I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul . . . What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment?" Is all of this a test? A cosmic exam to pass? I wonder and I wonder why His caring is so mysterious. I know the ending of Job, I've read it a few times before, I understand its wisdom but its all still mysterious. I know that if you ask God a bunch of questions that you better be ready for some in return like "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" The only way to answer that question is to become quite feeble and small. That isn't the issue, the issue is He said He cares, but why is His caring so mysterious and why must His servant suffer?

Sometimes these questions are poetic and beautiful, and sometimes they just haunt the inside of my soul.

peace to you on this late night,

home again

Its good to be home and with family again. Its time to catch up with friends and share some experiences and get back to normal. Had coffee with Paul McGillivary this morning and those are becoming addicting. We have had hundreds of these kinds of meetings and they could go on for hours. We just speak on Kingdom issues and things we're thinking about, I guess they are our OCC staff meetings and I would be okay with having one daily. Going to a movie with Glenn Johnson today and it will be good to catch up with him as well. Scheduled a lunch with K-Rains next week and am planning a trek to Indy to see the legendary Bill Bean. A monastic camping retreat is also on the calendar for some solitude, reflection and prayer.

I will be blogging on this more but came home to my autographed copy of Jim Henderson's 1st book, "a.k.a. Lost: Discovering ways to connect with the People Jesus Misses Most." Its a book on doable evangelism and I can't wait to sit down and read it. Jim has been hugely influential in my life as God hooked us up back in 1998 when I was in a real fragile place. He mentored me over the next 3-4 years and his ideas were foundational to what Ordinary Community would become. He helped me be myself in ministry and set me up for a new chapter in my ministry life. We met at 7:30 a.m. at Starbucks every friday morning for about 2 years and I remember when he would share his ideas on doable evangelism when they were raw in his heart and now they are in book form for all to read. His take on "ordinary attempts" have changed the way Nicki and I see God's missing children, I think y'all need to read it :)

I have reflected on many things on my journey and my mind is pretty active on a lot of topics right now. Most acutely is the need for me to put some more energy into what apostolic relational networks could look like and be more intentional. I'm also thinking of how to be more intentional about passing on our values, theology and ways of reproducing Kingdom communities to the next generation. What could their training look like in real life? How can we provide a kind of "life on life" training model where the Kingdom is more caught than taught? I'm also wondering about what kinds of new communities could we start up this year. I'm feeling the urge to take some more land as long as that means people finding Jesus to be the center of their reality.

Its good to be home but no rest for the weary. The War rages on.

peace,

back to western culture

we arrived in Frankfurt, Germany this morning and i can say that i was ready for the comforts that the West provides. you realize how spoiled we are when you have to do without. we have a pretty decent hotel with a pool and gives us a comfy place to chill and catch up on sleep.

my last couple days in india went real well. met up with 2 of jim hendersons friends. 1st was jacob isaacs of kerygma coffee house. he is a bro, if i lived there in bangalore, i would make sure to spend a lot of time with him. his ministry philosophy is very kin to mine and he had more a grasp on india and its youth culture than anybody i met there. a very bright guy and i tried to convince him to start blogging cuz many of you need to know him too. Bert cherian was the 2nd guy, another extremely intelligent and passionate thinker. we talked over many topics re: busniness, world affairs, church, transformation issues and the like. really enjoyed my time with him. good to hang out with a couple guys who are not so steeped in traditional church.

now im paying for my internet time in the cafe in downtown frankfurt so thats all for now. catch y all soon.

peace,

India Report # 9

I have now completed the teaching portion of my trip and I am quite relieved. I have taught 41 times in 11 days. It makes me quite tired. At the same time I have been very well received and have gotten numerous invitations to return and teach more. I feel very content that I accomplished what I came here to do. Particularly being able to share the house church model yesterday with about 60 pastors, many of them took it to heart. Some of their eyes were as big as saucers as if I was giving them the cure to cancer. I children I taught as well were very receptive to me. It was the seminary students though that I felt the most connection with feel I made the largest impact. Some of them wanted to make sure how much it meant to them and how many pages of notes they took and will keep to study over. God is good.

I went out again last night on the motorcycle to another village. This time we went into the homes of 2 families that were unbelievers. They are open to learning more about Jesus so I was able to share some stories about Jesus in their home while sitting under the mantle of their Hindu idol whom they worship. If their was any demonic force attached to those idols, I can't think they were very happy. They were very receptive and seemed to listen intently. Then they would bring their children to me that I would bless them. In their culture, this is the role of the Hindu Guru, usually in exchange for $. I prayed over these children in the name of Jesus and then turned and thanked them for the opportunity. May the Holy Spirit use these interactions to draw them into the Kingdom.

I will be meeting with a couple friends of Jim Henderson's tommorrow in Bangalore and then we fly to Germany tommorrow night. This will be my last blog from India as the next one will come from Europe most likely.

Keep Nicki in your prayers today as she is attending to her Grandma's funeral. I so wish I could be there.

peace,

India Report # 8

Had a real good day yesterday. Finally being healthy I feel like a brand new person and have the energy to finish my teaching strong. I had a lot of time yesterday to relax and just have some conversations which was a first in about a week.

SHHHHHHH . . . nobody tell my wife . . . but I rode a motorcycle last night :) The Pastor from the church I spoke at on Sunday took me out on his motorcycle to some villages and do some sight-seeing. We were just exchanging stories and cultures as we zipped past water buffaloes and sheep herders. We got out to take a walk at a scenic area, a dam and water purifying plant. As we were walking along a path he was telling me a story of how a few years back he struck and killed a King Cobra in his house that wandered in. This freaked me out a bit but I didn't let on. I asked him in what areas they live in and he said "all around here, like in bushes like that one" (pointing to one we were just passing). That was more reality than I needed. I just tried to ignore the possibility of meeting a cobra and chose to just find my happy place.

We traveled to villages and met with some new followers of Christ who were the only followers in their village. So we entered their homes, knelt on mats and then they asked me to pray for them, their families, their home and their ministry in that village. This was such an honor. Now when I say home, I mean a mud hut, thatch roof, mud floor and a few electrical wires. Usually 2 rooms, maybe 8 x 8. I have seen this before but it is still shocking and I couldn't help but have memories of visiting Homerama in Cincinnati and walking through the 1-3 million dollar houses. The comparisons are enough to make you lose your lunch. The disproportion of wealth in this world is quite staggering. I don't think we're supposed to live in guilt, but I do think that we have to use our high place of influence to educate for awareness and to do our part in helping. It costs $40 a month to support an orphan here at the house of Joy. That gives them a great shot here to go to college and come back and be a leader in their villae. That's what I call changing the world. My wife and I have supported Compassion International children since college, its the cost of a few pizzas a month. I am wondering outside of educating about poverty what other things God may be leading us to do.

peace,

India Report # 7

It is Monday of our last week and I've noticed that they don't celebrate the 4th of July much over here. No parade, no fireworks scheduled, no hamburgers and hot dogs, no cornhole tournaments . . . I don't get it, where is their Patriotism??? To be fair, in September they do have their own Independence Day where they celebrate their breaking of the ties with England in 1949. What it is about the English that make other countries want to kick them out all the time? (im just kidding to all my friends out there in the UK)

Maybe you could already tell but I'm feeling much better, just about 100%. Fever gone, aches gone, headache gone, stomach nausea gone, stomach issues? Can you say "solid stool sample"? Because as of today, I can!!!! Hallelujah and thank you Jesus. Thank you for all your prayers.

I spoke at a church service yesterday in a village nearby on Psalm 27 "Tasting the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Kingdom Now) There were about 40-50 people, they sit on mats segragated by gender and the children are always a part of the whole service, all 3 hours of it. I love their family style services here, children are a part of the whole community. The bongos were the only instrument used for leading worship and they clapped each song as well, it had a very tribal feel and really spoke to me. There were monkeys climbing the trees outside which was my first sighting of them here for me. They are neighborhood nuisances like Racoons are to us in the states. Afterwards, an elderly gentlemen who spoke no english came to me with a packet of like lotion oil and through much interpretation I realized that he wanted me to pray for the oil to make it a healing balm for his eyes. They have a wives tale in their culture of a great white healer, I guess he thought he'd give me a shot. I prayed over him and the oil in the name of Jesus.

Today I spoke in chapel to the seminary students for the final time on spiritual warfare in ministry. I decided since I was leaving soon that I would let it rip. The students and faculty seemed to appreciate it but they are not used to folk like me. I felt encouraged afterwards as a couple students showed me all the notes they took during my teaching and that they are usually timid and fearful but I had given them a different perspective. If my brashness can get the timid and fearful into this war with us then this trip has been well worth it. That really touched me.

I will be visiting some homes in surrounding villages tonight, tommorrow I will be doing a house church seminar and then my teaching will be pretty much complete. I am trying to arrange to visit a couple friends of Jim Hendersons in Bangalore then on Wednesday evening or Thursday before we fly out and that I'm very much looking forward to.

Stop and taste the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living today,

India Report # 6

What do you do when you are backed against the wall? You draw your sword and start fighting your way out. I have awoken this morning at 5 a.m. with each of my last 3 teachings absolutely living within me. They are longing to come forth. I desire for each one of them to be a lethal blow into the gut of our Enemy. It burdens me to have to suffer physically here and he is the one who brought sickness into this world. It burdens me to be separated from my wife during this time of grieving Grandma Cecil and he is the one who desires death for all of us. It burdens me that Palmer is having to continue to suffer in his healing and that Amy has to continue her long suffering, the enemy dances in our dark nights of the soul.

Well, here I am again. War is at my doorstep and I am suiting up. Today I will speak on the invitation of the Father to a life of intimacy. Tommorrow I will speak to the seminary students on pastoral ministry as spiritual warfare. On Tuesday, I am going to a local village gathering of pastors to plant the infectious virus of small Kingdom communities (house churches). If God allows, I want them to see an alternative model of planting missional small churches that can spread through villages without the limitations of physical space. That meta idea is bigger than any 2 hour counsel I could give but I want to see them set free to love their neighbors and invite their people into the eternal Kingdom Community.

If all goes well, I will visit the Kerygma Coffee House in Bangalore on Wednesday or Thursday. Johnny Baker pointed me to this urban student ministry and it sounds like my flavor of Kingdom. That would be icing on the cake.

Discouragement may have its time, but it doesn't stick to Jesus Followers very well. Sickness passes, heartbreak goes away but I feel filled with Resurrection Life. I walk in the Ways of the Christ who touched the coffin of the widow's dead son and he awoke from the entrapment of death. I walk in the ways of the Christ who disguised himself on Christmas evening as an innocent baby, but in reality was invading our world with the keys and the power of the Eternal Kingdom of God. I walk in the Ways of Christ who walked this earth and had demons cry out for mercy, wanting to be cast into a herd of pigs rather than deal with the Reality of Kindom Come in Him. Where I see the enemy today, I will thrust my sword into his gut and will not relent until he departs squealing like the swine that he is.

peace to you and your house today,

India Report #5

Who is the person who coined the phrase, "when it rains, it pours." whoever it is, that's a wise person.
I spent the day out and about in Bangalore mostly relaxing and shopping with my Mom and Ali. My fever finally full broke in the middle of the day and has left me a case of uncotrollable sweats a few times but the pain has passed. Thank you and thank you for all you praying for me.

Got the email I didn't want tonight, My wife's grandma passed away last night. She had always been someone who was very close to my wife and very close to all of my children. The first time I met Cecil, she welcomed me as her own grandson and I absolutely adored her. I know this seems strange, but she is someone that I always wanted to speak at her funeral because I just have so many honoring things to say. But now I am stuck here, really no way to get out of the country before Thursday and I'm sure they'll make funeral arrangements before then. That just rips my heart out. I mentioned to Ali tonight that it was really hard for me to not be there for Mommy tonight and Ali put her hand on my arm and said, "at least we have each other." Didn't somebody say that unless your a child you can't receive the Kingdom of God or something??

I want to share that one of the last conversations I had with Cecil was in my backyard, sitting in the sun the week before we left. It was just her and I and she pointed to me and said, "Chris, I've lived my life and I've lived a full one. I have no regrets. You go LIVE your life." The emphasis was on "LIVE". I will never forget that and may I be faithful to her charge.

In a touch of irony, I am speaking at a worship service in the morning and my passage was alreday Psalm 123, "The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want". It is a traditional funeral passage so I will use Cecil as an illustration and grieve in my own way in a land far away. This all just feels so eeril similar to how I felt being stuck in the Ukraine 2 years ago when Jennifer Palmer passed and I couldn't be with my brother. Tonight I long to be with my wife and it hurts to be so far away.

Wherever you are tonight, go LIVE your life.

India Report #4

I have spent the past 36 hours wrestling in bed with a pretty bad fever and body aches. Yesterday afternoon, a Dr. here on campus gave me some sample antibiotics and I hope they are doing the trick. Its 3:00 a.m. and I'm awake now due to a splitting headache that I can't shake. I haven't eaten anything in a couple days with the exception of water. Most likely, I am going to cancel my teaching trip as even if I could make the trek, I wouldn't be much of a teacher. My stomach feels so nauseated and I long for some American food. All I want to do is drink and some Gatorade or something of the sort would be real good right now to replenish my electrolytes and give me some sugar.

On a different note, from what I understand since I've been sick in bed, Ali has been keeping students and workers here busy playing Go Fish and Barbie Uno. She doesn't mind being the center of attention (kind of a Marshall thing) and her joy is an international language. She has made great friends with a few of the orphans and they come knocking at her door to play each evening. "Ali, come play now" (insert Indian/British accent). It amazes me how well she has adjusted to being in a foreign land. She hasn't complained about the food and hasn't mentioned any of her comforts in America. She is just going with the flow. That makes me very proud.

peace to wherever you are this day and may your head feel better than mine,

India Report #3

Need prayer, had a real bad night. Throughout my teaching yesterday I started feeling weak and getting the chills. After my last teaching last night, I began coming down w/ a fever. I wrestled all night with aches and pains due to the high fever. In addition, my stomach is very upset and I can't keep food in, so I'm as well feeling dehydrated and weak. The fever has broken for the moment but I still feel very weak. Pray that I can rest well today because I'm scheduled to leave for the weekend to a remote village to do some more teaching. That area will not have any of the comforts that I have here and I cannot eat or drink anything I come into contact with there. So its pretty imperative that I'm well before we depart. I need God to intervene, please pray.

peace to you,

India Report #2

It Wednesday morning here at 11:23 a.m. and I have just completed my 3rd of 6 teachings on the day. Opened up with morning devotions with the school staff, then to a lecture at the seminary on poetic motifs in Scripture then to a 6th grade bible class on Noah. I'm wearing many different hats. The lecture at the seminary went particularly well speaking on the poetic drama in Luke 7 of Jesus' broken heart the widow's dead son and raising him from the dead. The Poetic motif is that it drives home one of the overriding themes in all of God's revelation, that is the fact of Immanuel, God with us. When we know that God is with us, all things become possible. The poetic nature of Immanuel is something we should all breathed in deeply. I also taught the poetic metaphors of wisdom in Proverbs. That God's wisdom is written into the code of the universe and if you live in the Way, you find a life of satisfying blessing.

Ali is doing great, just going with the flow. She amazes me with her spontaneity and questions. The president of the seminary had been observing her since we came and last night after dinner, he turned to me and said, "this girl of yours is quite smart." That I'll have to agree with. She has a sharp mind and seeks to understand. I can only imagine what God has in store for her.

The children here are over the top cute. They wear these British uniforms which clash with their dark skin. They have disciplined manners, very clean and speak with a mix of Indian and British accent. In my last class, a girl with pigtails said, "please sir, sing us a song?" (sounded incredibly like Oliver, "please sir, may I have some more?") I was able to refuse but I'll have to give them a little show next week when I'm with them again.

Many of you must be praying for us because I have a strong dose of the Spirit while teaching. So for that I say thank you and please keep it up.

Blessings and peace unto your day,

India report #1

So its the morning of our 3rd day in India and I'm still jet lagging pretty bad. I did sleep through the night last night thanks to a couple pills of Benadryl. I have a decently comfy living situation, my own room in an appartment, queen bed, clean bathroom and ceiling fan, God is good.
My daughter is showing no signs of culture shock. She has taken everything right in stride. She is teaching pre-K with my Mom in the mornings and enjoys the responsibilities. Thank you to the Minniears for the gifted gameboy, Tetris was our savior on the long flights and has occupied Ali's downtime here in India. That was an outstanding idea!!
Please keep me in prayer as I am teaching 25 times in the next 5 days, not including the weekend trek I'm taking this weekend. I did not know anything that I was teaching until I came, so I'm having to prep. it all on the fly which is not my forte. The perfectionist in me feels unprepared so its a complete reliance on the Holy Spirit. Most of the teaching is Seminary classes and chapels, 40-45 minute talks which I'm pretty out of practice on. With no interaction or discussions, I feel like a fish out of water. I'm trying to find topics that I'm passionate about and would translate well here. We'll see how I do. On Thursday at chapel I'm going to speak on "finding God in the ordinary" and see how that flies.
The biggest culture shock for me is not India but being in a conservative Christian culture. The dress code is relaxed, so that's good, only a tie on Sunday for me and I totally dig the sandal deal. But the seminary is a strongly dispensational, pre-millenial theological school which is my upbringing but a mindset that I have left way behind. It is dominated by teaching theology, and lacks focus on Spirit and relationship. So I will try and bring those elements in a way that they can embrace. At face value, some of the leaders don't take me seriously because I don't pastor a large American church and the name of my church is "Ordinary Community", doesn't exactly fit their value system. So I'm having to incarnate my views of the Kingdom in this mindset, which is a challenge and leaves me feeling like I can't be myself.
I am having great conversations with younger leaders in the seminary though regarding America, consumer church, gospel as industry, church and politics, sexuality and teaching in the church and the role of suffering. Those evening time round table conversations are what I enjoy most. Keep me in prayer, I miss my community very much and long to be back with you.

peace of Christ unto your day and the challenges you may face,

Marsh

Where would I be without community?

I've been feeling a lot of stress about this trip to India in just trying to prepare myself but these past 24 hours have been therapeutic. Spent yesterday morning w/ Doc playing some early Golf and just enjoyed our friendship and our desire to be influencers amongst students. Went to the Reds day game and had dinner w/ Glenn Johnson and that always just encourages me. He challenged some of my thinking and desire to be "in control" as I go and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Just had an early morning coffee meeting w/ Paul McGillivary and that was also just what the doctor ordered. Our talks always get me really fired up but this time it really gave me the perspective I needed to teach from. I feel more prepared to go and release the Kingdom virus to the people God is preparing and to see Him set captives free. I want to share the depths and reality of Kingdom Come to the people of India and encourage them to act out this Story in small communities that live missionally to the people around them. I may not have all the outlines and linear teaching points, but I do know that the Holy Spirit is alive and well in India. If I listen and commune w/ Him then I can unleash the gifts he has planted within me. Thank you Jesus for this opportunity to be a learner and a servant of your Way.

I will miss my family terribly, it is really starting to hit me. I am so glad that Ali will be with me, but I will ache for Nicki, Megan and Zach. 3 weeks is the longest I've ever been gone. To the people of Ordinary Community, please look after my family while I'm gone. Be the arms of Jesus wrapped around them, supporting them, comforting them and providing for them. Ali and I go as representatives of our faith community, proclaiming the Gospel with words and actions. Thank you to Ordinary Community for the support and permission to go.

I have no idea what my access to the internet will be while there. But any opportunity I get, I will update my blog here w/ details and stories of what is happening so check in for updates.

May the peace of Christ go with all of us this day as we proclaim and live in the Kingdom of God.

T minus 4 days

Come Friday morning, my daughter Alison and my Mom and I will be starting a long couple days of aviation to Bangalore, India. Ali and my Mom will be teaching pre-school and ministering to kids at an orphanage there. I will be teaching at some churches, seminary classes, doing a seminar w/ local pastors on house churching and trekking to some remote location for a few days to establish a church plant. I believe I'm going to center the majority of my teaching around the Gospel of Luke, the Kingdom being opened to outsiders. It will be a full couple of weeks, tasting the culture and learning the people. There is much prep-work to do.

This past weekend we had our first Ordinary Community Church camp-out at Hueston Woods near Oxford and it was a blast. Our family camped out there Friday and Saturday night and most of the church folk met us out there on Saturday. We hung at the beach for the majority of the day, grilled out dinner at a picnic grove and broke into some worship under the trees. Later in the evening we headed back to our campsite for a fire, smores and laughter. Life is good lived in community.

Palmer had a successfurl surgery but has a long road of recovery in front of him. I can only imagine how crushed his body must feel. But the God of healing, comfort and recovery is with him. The God who knit him together in his mother's womb is the same one that can put him back together and make him whole again. A healthy Palmer is a constant threat to our Enemy, proclaiming Kingdom and inviting others into the story of becoming the people of God. Heal on my friend.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

Palmer Watch

Do not relent praying for Palmer today. If all is going well, then he is still in surgery right now and in the process of becoming whole and healed. We need you God, we declare our dependence upon you. Go and heal your suffering servant that your Kingdom may be glorified.

Pray for Palmer, Amy, Micah and Landing Place today.

so . . . the doctor said our son is severely impaired

Nicki and I took Zach to the speech pathologist specialist today w/ Cincinnati Children's hospital and had our suspicions somewhat confirmed. We have noticed more and more that our soon to be 3 year old son is very behind developmentally, particularly in speaking and learning. I was expecting the results to be something like "Zach is behind but its pretty normal and if you just give him some time, he'll be talking your ear off." But what we got is "Zach is severely impaired" and is measuring at the 3-9 month level instead of the 36 month level. So my almost 3 year old has not yet developed to the point of a 1 year old?? Then the doctor began rattling off therapeutic options and special need programs. There was ZERO time to process the 1st statement. Both of Zach's older sisters have been over the top healthy and we've never had to deal with anything out of the normal so this is all new. The Dr. was not able to say why he is so far behind, just describing that he is. Is it developmental and something he'll snap out of with some work? Is it an illness in his brain or chemical make-up? Well, the answer to those questions will come with some further testing. Oh joy. I've had some fears that Zach is showing signs of autism and today didn't help with those fears.

I want to know the facts, I don't want to be naive but it seems the medical industry does not deal with the person, just the diagnosis and the treatment. Its an impersonal industry of #'s and medications. This is just not how I aprroach life so when I come into contact with those values it just leaves me feeling a little bit icky.

There is also a part of me that says your labels don't dictate our future. The victim mentality can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nicki and I will ultimately decide what is best for Zach and we will do it with all the information and discernment we can get our hands on. In God's Kingdom, the sick can be well, the blind can see, the lame can walk, the mute speak, the prostitutes are forgiven, the captives are set free and the dead live again. So don't flippantly label my son what the @#$% chart says. Talk to me as a person, speak to me on my level, incarnate your gifting into our world, enter into our situation or get out of our way. This world is not our home. We are but aliens and travelers through on a bigger journey. We respect this time and this place but we live in a different reality.

I know that we're supposed to be intimidated by this talk of deficiency, decay and death in this world. I know that we're supposed to fall down and call the scientific worldview our reality. I know that we're supposed to bow before the altar of medical technology and knowledge. I know that doctors are supposed to be our demi-gods. But none of that suits us very much, frankly, we just don't receive it. You see, we are people of the Ressurection and death has lost its sting. That Jesus character has passed on this nasty habit of rising again.

peace to you and your community tonight,

Palmer trek

Went up to Columbus to visit w/ Palmer last night and had a good time hangin' out w/ him before he heads into his next surgery. 64 King just has such a great feel to it, truly a community house. After catching up w/ Amy a bit and getting some travel advice for India, Mark and I headed out to the "Happy Greek" for dinner, good stuff. Mark has lost a lot of weight in all of his battles so it was good to get some tasty dishes that he could pig out on and get some nourishment in him.

We talked over the small picture issues of the situation and the big picture theological/emotional issues at length. Our only true conclusion is that we have no idea how people live outside of an intimate faith community. The good things in life just aren't as fulfilling and the trials would be unbearable without being in the people of God. We ended with some prayer together and I just want to never cease praying for a complete healing.

As I drove home, I admitt that I felt a bit numb. I hate seeing my brother in such pain and discomfort. I want him to be free to be a husband and a Dad and a teacher and a spiritual director. I want things to be different and I'm not sure why they aren't. I don't need to know "why" this is all happening, I just need to know "what the heck you want us to do"????

As I drove, I left fate to the iPod to shuffle the appropriate songs and it kept choosing some prophetic tunes from Beth Wacome Keck and honestly, it was the only thing that could penetrate to where my heart was. Beth's voice and the fact that she is a part of our spiritual family and our story seemed to console me. "I stand Amazed", "if I could be the sand inside your soul" and "I am Rahab" were particularly helpful.

We have to approach all of this like a long-distance runner, just one mile at a time. So I woke this morning and hit the road for a 3 mile run, all the while wondering why these things happen and what we are to do.

peace,

portion of Graduation Address

The seniors asked me to give the commencement address at graduation this past Sunday. Here were a few of my thoughts:

"As you move on, let me remind you of a couple things. Verse 5 says, “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.” You are turning a new chapter in your life, you are going into a world that is sometimes cruel, you are going to have new experiences and your going to meet new people. But know this and let me make it abundantly clear . . . YOU ARE NOT ALONE, EVER! You have the ever-present, relentless, pursuing love of God that will never, ever, ever leave you. There are going to come times when you are going to want to drink from that source and let me encourage to draw deep from that well and bring it all the way in. Let it be your substance. In addition to that, you need a community. You need people who are for you in all circumstances. I’ll never forget one of the vows my wife said to me 12 years ago this very day during our wedding. She said, “when the hard times come, I’m not going anywhere” and she has proved that to me time and time again. You need the “not going anywhere” kind of friends, because when you have them, you are truly never alone.

The Lord goes on to say , “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Bible is not an academic subject that you get credit for, within it are the very words of life. If you’ve ever watched a surveyor at work, they are plotting points and making boundaries all based on fixed points. Fixed points don’t move and you can gauge everything else based on it. The words of God are fixed points for living. Gauge your life on them. When you are hungry, it is the kind of bread that doesn’t make you hungry anymore. When you are thirsty, it is the kind of living water that makes you thirst no more. Make His words your center, anchor yourselves in them and you will find prosperity when others have found misery. His words are life for those who want real living.

“So Joshua ordered the officers of the people: Go through the camp and tell the people, ‘Get your supplies ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the Lord your God is giving you for your own.” My final words for you are this. There are 2 types of Christians in America. There are some who think our best idea is to hunker down and wait for Jesus to come back. They fear the world and its influence on them. They focus on circling the wagons and creating their own safe sub-culture. This all seems right but I don’t think it’s a Jesus kind of Christianity. It simply is not a big enough idea. He did not call us to fear, he called us to take land. The other type of Christian is one who takes the Incarnation seriously. Who understands that Jesus left the comfort of his Father’s Kingdom for the painful muck and mire of earth for one reason alone, it was the will of the Father. The Father’s will is not for you to merely hang on to your faith, His Kingdom is a faith that hangs onto you. His will is not for you to build a bomb shelter, His will is for you to unleash an invasion. We did not prepare you to hang on, we prepared you to take land. God did not give us a Spirit of timidity, he gave us a Spirit of Power and we need to live in it.

Im wondering if your going to cross that line? Im wondering if you have that kind of courage? Where you see the unloveable, will you love them? Where you see the poor in need, will you help them? Where you see the lonely, will you befriend? Where there is temptation, will you resist? Where you see injustice, will you stand up? When others judge, will you show compassion? When the Enemy is seeking to recruit, will you swear singular allegiance to the King?

15 years ago, I crossed that line. I decided to join the war and my best days are the ones that I pick a fight with the enemy, many of the times on behalf of you. You are no longer my students, but now I’m asking if you would be my partners on this battlefield. I need you, the war is hard and its time for some reinforcements. Graduates of 2005, will you answer the call and fulfill the will of the Father? We are a part of an unshakeable Kingdom and its time to take some more land.

I love you and I bless you to go and walk out of these doors with courage and with power and may the peace of Christ be upon all of your journeys. Amen.

Dogtown and Z-Boys

I just got finished watching a Documentary on the skateboarding craze in Southern Cali in the 70's. Not sure why I watched it, I've never been much of a skater but I couldn't turn it off. The rawness of their craft, their passion for creativity, their complete disregard for status quo, all of that I love. Its punk rock, its subversive, its underground, its primal.

As I continue to get older I am becoming more interested in my own artistic expressions and appreciating others' art. Art to me is and its various expressions is how to live life and not just take up space. The mainstream world is made up of consumerism, mindless loyalty to the "man" and more of the same. This is one of the downsides to suburbia, no individuality. The new strip malls all look the same and are professional at catering to consumer needs, but they lack true personality and culture. Its corporate America and its fascination with big and mega that bugs me as well. Of course I'm a part of the system, I like the comforts they provide but it all lacks style.

I've never had an "art" per se. I've never hung around circles of artists. But I'm finding myself longing to express myself in unique ways so that I know I'm alive and human. Im jealous of Keck and his skills in restoring cars, he's on to something there. I definitely can appreciate his art. Oh to be a Monster Garage artist.

peace,

War on . . . we know no other way

So I've been reflecting on Palmer's situation a bit the past few days and wondering how to respond. At times it seems so overwhelming and that we can't catch a break. At times its hard not to wonder why the valley of the shadow of death has to be so long and so dark.
Then another thought occurs to me. What are the assumptions of the Enemy? I suppose we're just suppose to be intimidated and think woe is me kinda deal. I suppose we're supposed to re-think our Kingdom theologies and that heaven now stuff. I guess its best to not hurt, not empathize the pain, not enter in, not incarnate into our brother's life. I suppose the Enemy should assume that we oughta just pack it up and feel defeated.

Well, how do I say this pastorally? . . . @#$% that!

Tonight was the last of 5 sessions of a New Testament Survey course I teach for Indiana Wesleyan University. Its been a blast to teach. The truths of the Kingdom were just coming to us all waver after wave, week after week. Each night just had such an annointing, the 4 hours of class would fly by. Tonight was our last one and we ended with Revelation. I gave my take on N.T. Wright's idea of the final "unveiling" and a rapture-less consumnation. About how we are participating now in the Creation of the new heaven and new earth already. And that the Kingdom has come and yet is coming.

One of my students is a 45 year old nurse who has grown up in the kingdom hall of jehovah's witnesses but had left that church and been on a spiritual journey. Tonight she shared that it was the Jesus story that she wanted to be a part of. That the Kingdom we were discussing is what she now understands Truth and reality to be. She will take on much persecution for her decision to be a follower of Jesus but she sees no other way. Her journey has been one of struggle, contemplation and passionate pursuit. Its been so much fun to be her Spiritual Director these past few weeks. So tonight she is a new member of the Kingdom community, she is in the story of the people of God both now and forever.

This is what we do. We proclaim Kingdom and let the Spirit draw the hungry to Himself. I don't proclaim Kingdom because I like to disperse knowledge, I do it to get my sword bloody. i do it to confront my enemy, to look him in the eyes and not be intimidated as captives are set free. I know I'm supposed to be wearied and beat down but the way I figure mr. Enemy, you suck. We know no other way but to war on.

Remember the final scene of "Return of the King" when the fellowship turns and runs towards their enemy screaming "for Frodo!!!!" against seemingly insurmountable odds. Well, tonight I took one down for you Palmer. And I'll do it again tommorrow if the opportunity comes my way. We swear singular allegiance to the King.

war on,