So we all have good days and bad days. Last Sunday night, I had a bad day. A series of things triggered me and I felt trapped, alone, codnemned and accused. All I felt was pain and it brought up childhood issues that I haven't felt in a long time. In a conversation with my wife where we were processing things together I lost me temper in a way I can't remember since I was a teenager. Where do things like that come from? That's for another day.
Today, I feel a bit of that revelation of hope. Its not in circumstances, that hasn't changed much. Its mostly in relationships. A relationship with a God that is not done w/ me yet. A God who is calling me to deeper intimacies with Him. A God who is calling me into deeper works of redemption on earth. A God who is breathing in me words of prophecy that haunt my dreams.
I feel hope in a wife whom I celebrate Mother's Day with today. A woman who is exactly my opposite. A woman who is the best partner I could hope for. A woman who is committed to me in the good and the bad. On our wedding day she vowed that "when the tough times come, I'm not going anywhere" and has proven just that. She gives me my space, but she also pursues me and I never thought I would find somebody like her. She actually does complete me, its more than a movie line.
I feel hope from amazing friends. Like really amazing friends. Friends I've gone to war with and friends I'd go to war for. I can't mention y'all by name but I need you to know that your words and presence have brought hope to my life. You love me in ways I can't hope for myself. You believe in me and stick with me when I can't find my way. You affirm the places I find myself and earily your lives and thoughts often parallel my own. You have been the revelation of a Kingdom come for me.
I don't always know who I am and where I'm going, but for tonight I have the revelation of hope and that is enough.