Who Dey Holiday weekend

Doc and I did some pre-game tailgating and then onto the Bengals game where they got their 8th victory of the season. Tonight, I'm a big Colts fan so as to get a game up on those Pittsburgh squealers. Next week is the game we have to have. My hope is that we find a way to stop the run (which we haven't all year) and that Pitt. has a short week to get ready for us. Nonetheless, it should be a better game than the last meeting and it has major implications for the off-season. Canipe, how bout double or nothing on that coffee?? :)

Had my best 10k run on Thanksgiving morning in downtown Cincy. I ran 10 min. miles which is the fastest I've ever run a 10k, felt very satisfying. Now its on to about 3 months of winter training til the next 10k in mid-March. I will be training this winter to run the 1/2 marathon at the Flying Pig in Cincy again in May. I'm too much of an extrovert to be a very good monk, running helps my aspirations to do better monking. It combines long times of prayer and reflection with my competitive nature. It also excuses me to do some serious holiday eating ;)

On a separate note, my Dad called me on Wednesday just to check in before the holidays. That is a BIG deal, I cannot recall any other time that my Dad has actually called me. Our relationship is distant but warm, mostly I've had little expectations which keeps me from being disappointed. But it really meant a lot to me that he called. This may not mean a lot to many of you out thre, but its quite a huge deal to me. I have longed my whole life to have an actual relationship with my earthly father, so when I get glimpses, even for a few minutes, I stop and cherish it.

SHC (student house church) continued on Sunday evening with a bit of discussion on community and denying our selfish natures in order to really experience the freedom that Christ brings. We got our leading from Galatians 5 and some thoughts from Bonhoeffer's "Life Together". Community is precious and deeply meaningful for those who give themselves to it.

Advent is upon us, I love this time of year. The drama of waiting for the Messiah to be born. The Incarnation of Jesus saved my life, I never tire of celebrating that.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

A Weekend of Fullness

I am so tired, it was an amazing weekend. Here are some highlights:

1) Being with Keck when he tried Skyline Chili for the 1st time on a late Thursday night run.
2) Picking up Bishop and his son Jackson from the airport, watching the reality of our coldness hit their southern Florida skin.
3) Lunch at Andy's Mediterranean is always a good time and great chicken
4) Receiving unbelieveable generosity from my brother-in-law Rob in providing dinner for Friday for all of us
5) Seeing Keck and Rains with their faces scorched black as they torched art into industrial drums turning them into the coolest fire barrels in history
6) Friday's party was off the charts, 85% of my favortie people in the world at one place. So much laughter, so much great conversation, so much love. My head didn't hit the pillow until 3:30 a.m., that party could have lasted for a week.
7) Worship and Eucharist as a community on Saturday was oozing with authenticity and spiritual maturity.
8) Praying for Palmer was powerful, emotional, Spirit-driven and filled with life and hope. The manifestations of the Spirit were desperate, in all the right senses of the word. It is joy and not despair that is writing this story.
9) Craig Spink's U.S. wedding reception at the Underground on Saturday was maybe the coolest wedding celebration I've ever experienced.
10) Sharing body art with 3 of my closest bros is unspeakably meaningful to me. We have reminders that we're never alone.
11) Fish and chips with Joe and Julie Long was an unexpected treat. I wished I lived closer and saw more of them.
12) Ohio State beat Michigan!!!!
13) The Bengals never stopped the Colts offense and thus showed we are a playoff team, but not a "great" team yet.
14) Putting up our Christmas lights and beating the rest of the neighborhood to the punch. ha ha ha ha
15) The beginning of a student house church around a fire, under the stars and with some open honesty. We'll see what kind of story God wants to write.

Its Thanksgiving, a short work week and another 10K race. Gotta catch up on some sleep.

I am extremely thankful for all these blessings and love living in the ways of the Kingdom of God.

peace,

Party in the Nati

This weekend starts on Thursday and rolls through Sunday. Great friends, Great community, Great conversation, Great encouragement, Great worship, Great prayer, Great food, great, great, great. I'm really stoked.

So we will gather to pray for Palmer's body, that God would cleanse him of the cancer and bring complete healing to his body. The reason we ask is because God can and our prayer is that He will.

We don't fear death and we don't fear disappointment. Contentment has been our friend in all circumstances. We are people of hope, we are people of resurrection, we are people of the Story of God, we are His people.

There will be war when we pray for Palmer, and its one that we enter willingly. Our weapons are faith, truth, love and hope. We listen to the One who authors life and speaks Creation, and out of our listening we prophesy life over dead bones. We come expectant as the People of God, we don't know of another Story.

I have few words left to say, I want to see God's hand move.

Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy on us.

blessings on your weekend,

the deconstruction of fear

How much of our daily lives and choices are ruled by fear?
How much of what we try and accomplish is directed through fear?
How much of our planning and illusion of control is really just the fear of failure?
How much of our anxiety and stress is the bondage of fear?
How much of our sleeplessness is due to fear?
How much of our lack of progress in life is stunted by fear?
How much of our theology is rooted in fear?
How much is our lack of intimacy the result of fear?
How much of our unfulfilled dreams are the captive of fear?
How much of our unanswered prayers are because of fear?
Can fear and faith co-exist?
Is there a positive category for fear?
How much of fear is a flaming arrow of the enemy?
How much of me is still influenced by fear?
Wasn't it fear that kept the disciples huddled in the upper room on Easter morning?
Wasn't it the lack of fear that caused Mary to get up while it was still dark and cold that Easter morning?
Can fear be the fuel of Kingdom hope? (this is what Im presently experiencing)
There is a fear of God that is Holy Other, that is the fear that is fueling me and I'm open to His movement.

If your having the crippling kind of fear from the enemy, meet it straight on, put your hands on its throat, and strangle the life out of the demon in the name of Christ.
If your having the kind of fear of God that comes through consecration before Him, receive His Spirit and walk ahead with Hope.

In the name of Jesus, bring complete healing to Palmer's body.

peace,

weekend report

Sunday morning I got up and ran the Ribs Run for the Marvin Lewis foundation in downtown Cincy. My niece, Gabby, ran the 5k and came in 7th in the women's division (pretty good considering she's 14). My nephew, Cory, ran in the 10K with me and he got 14th overall (he's 15). I beat my previous 10k time which was cool, but I saw this as another training run for the big 10k which is thanksgiving morning at the Bengals stadium. Running continues to be an escape for me, energy for my lifestyle and time to pray and reflect.

We had our annual OCC thanksgiving meal and worship time on Sunday afternoon and it was as always . . . REALLY good food and lots of it. Afterwards, we spent some time in worship, reflection and prayer. It was a bit hard to focus when the the turkey hangover was tempting us all towards a holy nap. With the Bengals on a bye week, it was a pretty peaceful Sunday.

This weekend is gonna be huge. Thursday night art show for the re-opening of St. Elizabeth's in Norwood, arguably my favorite church structure in the universe. Some of my favorite peeps are coming in this weekend for conversation, kingdom community and lots of love. Kecks from Vermont, Henderson from Seattle, Bishop from Florida, maybe Hale from St. Louis. Then the usual suspects from the midwest posse, Rains, Creechs, Bean, Palmers, Johnsons, Longs, Allis, VC crew, Klinefelters etc. etc. Its a plethora of great minds and hearts involved in the emerging/simple church world. Saturday morning we will worship, pray and encourage one another. Saturday afternoon is the U.S. wedding reception for Spinks who got married in Brazil last month. Then there is an after-party for him at an Irish establishment in Covington on Saturday evening. I sold my Bengals ticket for this coming Sunday so I could free up some time for a new ministry I'm beginning. Ministry before Bengals I suppose. But make no mistake about it, I will be watching the game as we give the Colts their 1st loss (sorry Bean) :)

If any are interested, I will be fasting on Thursday and Friday in preparation for a time this weekend to lay hands on Palmer and ask God for a complete healing of his body. If you would like to join me in this fast do so in your own way and pray intentionally for Palmer this weekend. We will never give up the fight.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

Clarification

In my previous post, I spoke of war and rebellion. Let me clarify that I don't mean that in a political or physically violent way, but as a spiritual metaphor. If that language is too intense for some, just be assured I'm a pretty peace-loving kind of guy. But until we see w/ spiritual eyes and understand the war we are in, we will only be building man-made kingdoms. As for the CCS community, I will be an advocate for peace and authentic Christ following, I have no other agenda. The students are my concern and nothing else. If any of you have questions or concerns of my intentions, please come and we can talk it over.

I spent 5 days in Memphis, TN with 150 high school students for their missions trip. I haven't gone on one of these trips in 4 years for numerous reasons, but for this year I sensed God asking me to attend. I perceived through the Spirit that I would have the opportunity to come alongside students and do some prophetic prayer and helping them be released from strongholds and spiritual bondage. And well, that happened. Next on my agenda is to begin a student house church out of my home and invite students who have no faith community to come and be a part. I pray that a community of authenticity will be birthed and that students will build hope that Christ following is possible without programs and buildings.

I am both in a state of encouragement and concern today, its an interesting paradox.

Today, Jesus asks us to be an offering. I think I'm game for that.

peace,

feeling hopeful

Yesterday morning, my wife and I met with our public school resource for trying to get Zach help in his speech and social development. We met with the school asst. principal, pre-school teacher, speech therapist, school psychologist and occupational therapist. They have all done observations of Zach either in our home or at their school and gave us their reports and recomendations. I was pretty amazed at their level of personal attention, the 1st time in this process that we felt that. We walked away feeling like this was a team effort between them as educators and us as parents. Everybody in the room had concern for Zach and were committed to unlocking his intelligence. As an educator myself, I much prefer the paradigm of personal education to the sterile/impersonal medical field.

Zach qualified for special ed. IEP pre-school which means we don't pay anything. He will begin most likely on Monday, 4 days a week starting at one hour a day and working his way up to 2 1/2 hours per day. They will be personally helping him develop his speech and communication skills, as well as his ability to be in groups and submitt to adult imposed structures. The structure will be VERY new for him and will undoubtedly cause him some stress. But given the fact that we have time and now resources, we feel very hopeful.

If your the praying type, pray for Zach's transition to this structured enviorment. Pray that as he learns to communicate better, the world will be less limited to him and thus less stressful. That he gains confidence with new skills and that confidence unlocks the intelligence that is within him. We're looking long-term and believe in God's story for Zach.

You see, I spent over 20 years of my life with little to no relationship with my earthly father. Even now, it consists of about 2-3 phone calls a year. Growing up, there were multitudes of nights where I cried myself to sleep and would talk out loud to a God that I wasn't even sure existed. I would say that if I ever had a son someday, I would make things different. Being a father is very personal to me, its a cherished role. One of my life goals was to experience a father-son relationship first-hand. Growing up, I coveted my friend's relationships who had Dad at home. I threw myself (anger and all) into sports and found my whole identity there. But no matter how many home runs I hit, points I scored, or tackles I made, the game would end and I would go home alone. Nobody there to see me play, nobody to enjoy it with and I lost interest. At 18, I transferred that ambition to ministry success. While I hope it was helpful to the Kingdom, I found myself at 26 empty and feeling alone as well. That's when I had my ABBA experience, a resting in the arms of my heavenly Daddy.

Now I can rest in the fact that I have 3 amazing children, a community of faith that I journey with that has loved me over and over and a ministry to a multitude of other lost sheep that need the same direction/attention I needed in that awkward time known as the teenage years.

I don't understand of a life outside of the hope of a Kingdom come. God is good.

peace,

Can you keep a secret?

Ok, its not a secret. November 17, 18 and most likely 19th, maybe even some 20th, a Midwest party is forming. Emerging church folk, simple church folk, house church folk, missional community folk, cool folk, semi-cool folk, partially pretty-cool folk etc. will be hanging out at Vineyard Central for the re-opening of St. Elizabeths (art party) on the 17th, then on the 18th it seems we're gonna do a common meal together and party into the night. There will be Kingdom conversations and topics being tossed around and knitted into souls within the framework of true community. I guarantee that there will be many like-minded Kingdom people there sharing hearts and minds over the elements. As folk come together, I imagine there will be opportunity for spill over parties on the 19th and 20th. Some is planned, some is spontaneous . . . all is of the Spirit.

For any out of towners that would consider making the pilgrimmage, feel free to contact me for free housing. I can arrange to have you stay at some saint's house and receive some Nati hospitality. As well, contact Rains at Vineyard Central.

It is good when Gods people come together. So many of us have chosen to do church in micro-communities, once in awhile its good to be in a corporate setting.

Oh yeah, Palmer is coming. We're going to ask God to move his hand and bring complete healing to his body. And when God moves, we're gonna sing new songs.

p.s. Your invited.

peace,

Jesus could not do miralces

Mark 6:5-6, "He could not do any miracles there, except lay hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith." This is Jesus in the hood he grew up in, Nazareth. Jesus could not do miracles . . . errrr . . . what? Are there laws governing the miraculous that are unseen and at times unattainable to even Jesus? Are they not even laws, but part of God's wonder and mystery that can't be measured with laws? How was Jesus limited? Why was Jesus limited? What does this mean to my theology of healing? All questions I'm thinking about.

Last Thursday, Kevin Rains and I sat on his new "courtyard" deck (extreme sweetness i might add) and pondered many questions, but one being this ongoing battle for Palmer's healing. We analyzed and reflected and concluded that what we know is that its a fight, a spiritual battle and one that we are all too happy to keep showing up in. We are not tired, we don't fret. We're hopeful, we're expectant, we're vigilant, we're showing up in the fight in our own way both personally and corporately.

Went camping this weekend with Paul McGillivary and Glenn Johnson. Around the fire on Saturday night, we pondered more theologies of healing and God's sovereignty. We reflected and prayed within our hearts for Palmer. Then our conversation turned to the star ridden sky above us and we reflected on the infinite # of galaxies out there, on the existence of black holes and parallel universes, on string theory and the heavenly realm. All of this made me conceive of the vastness of Creator God and the perspective of my life here on earth. God is writing a REALLY big story, and it is so far beyond us. Prayer ought not be demands coming from our little worlds, but said in humility before the God of Creation and His throne where all reality streams from.

So, go and worship the God of wonder, vastness and mystery. Stand in holy perspective before Him. And if he calls you into a battle, go without fear. Grab your sword and go where the Enemy sleeps in the night unleashing Hell on his doorstep. We belong to an unshakeable Kingdom, let's live like it.

peace,

Ouch, that hurt

Steelers 27 Bengals 13

They really beat us up pretty badly on our home field. We played very young and very inexperienced. The run defense is continually an area of concern. We're still in 1st place, but its obvious that we still have a lot of growing up to do. We are more talented than most, but aren't executing on the field. Did I mention that this loss hurt???

And worst part is that I have to buy Steelers-fan Canipe some Starbucks Jo now. I eat crow and he drinks coffee. Make it a venti coffee for Chad, I'll be the one eating humble pie . . . this time :) I feel bad for you Packer-backers coming into the the Jungle this week, we'll be looking to get back on track at your expense.

Who Dey!

Marriage as Rebellion

Tomorrow night I am marrying 2 good friends who have been participating in our house church for the past year. Last night was the rehearsal and I could sense the Holy Spirit in all of it. Nicki and I have walked with them through some pretty difficult times in their pre-marital counseling. They are the only Christ followers in their families, and both sets of parents have divorced during their engagement. How's that for wedding preparations?

But for these 2, they have chosen a different path. They have chosen the ways of Christ and the reality of His Kingdom on earth. So they talk about everything with brutal honesty, they forgive, they serve. They receive love from Christ and thus understand how to love one another. They live within the context of close Christian community and thus have support, love and accountability from others. This world sees marriage as a contract, we see it as an act of rebellion against our selfish nature and thus living and learnig what true union looks like. Its a spiritual union of souls to God and then to one another. I get so geeked about that, the ceremony and then the subsequent days of marriage are a way of sticking it to the enemy and our sinful nature. Marriage is an act of rebellion and its been one of the most redeeming experiences of my life. Outside of Jesus' Cross, it has been my savior. I get a few minutes in the middle of the ceremony to proclaim Kingdom, I"m looking forward to that.

I'm also looking to a fun reception and a date night with my wife. She got a new outfit for the occasion, and well, she just looks pretty hot! As I read the vows in the ceremony, in my heart, I am renewing my vows to Nicki. I couldn't be more happy to be 12 years into marriage and completely in love.

Love is the Jesus rebellion, learn it and live it at high volumes.

peace,

Enter the Mystery

"Blessed are you who give yourselves over to God, turn your backs on the world's 'sure thing', ignore what the world worships; The world's a huge stockpile of God-wonders and God-thoughts, Nothing and no one comes close to you! I start talking about you, telling you what I know, and quickly run out of words. Neither numbers nor words account for you."

"More and more people are seeing this: they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God."

"That's when God's Word entered my life, became part of my very being."

(Psalm 40 The Message)

Entering into the mystery of God is such a bigger idea than getting saved. When we reduce the Gospel to being only about going to heaven or hell, we suck the mystery and power and wonder out of our life in Christ. What I know is that river of God is not in heaven only, but also on earth. If I get quiet, practice solitude and begin to seek Him, I can hear its waters. Jesus came with the keys to the Kingdom and in some mysterious way, He was/is the Kingdom. Taking the time to commune with Him is about taking off your shoes and stepping into that river, the stream of his unadulterated Spirit. When you do, life comes into perspective. You begin to have God-thoughts. You begin to feel the things that are on the heart of the Father. I don't know about you, but I often see visions. Visions of the mystery, visions of God's desire and intent, visions of His missing children, visions of a battlefied, visions of the plans of the enemy, visions of answered prayer. Its a mystical place that I can't describe in scientific terms, nor do I care to. For me its my center, its home. Its the place where God becomes part of my very being. The notion of "getting saved" seems to be a pretty poor substitute for communing within the mystery of Christ. In the words of Eldrige, God is offering us a Sacred Romance. So then why do we settle for the prostitute? We trade the Holy for a whore. Friends, there's so much more if just take the time to remove our shoes and step into the river.

Stop and see the Kingdom around you today,

Its another Who Dey Monday!

In the midst of my soreness, let me just dwell on another Bengals win at the hands of the Tennessee Titans. The Bengals are now 5-1 and have possession of 1st place in the AFC North. But this is Steelers week. The Pittsburgh Squealers are coming into town on the Lord's Day this week and their many towel waving ya hoos. They have always played more physical than us and have given little to no respect to the rising of the Nati Bengals. Well, let the dead bury the dead. The rising takes another step this week.

""It's going to be a big week," said defensive lineman Bryan Robinson. The Steelers "have the mentality that we're nothing, and rightly so. We're just the Cincinnati Bengals. But I'm telling you, we've all decided enough is enough in here."


WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!!!

peace,

We Ran for Palmer

It was really, really hard. I wasn't as well trained as I had been for my 1/2 marathon last May, but I did finish okay. Throughout the run, people came up to us and asked us about Palmer because we had signs pinned to our backs. It gave us a chance to tell his story and offer some prayers up for his peace and healing. My body is healing, but its going to be an uncomfortable couple of days.

I've got a lot on my mind that I hope to blog on this week. I'm sure you'll all be waiting in eager anticipation ;) Let me just take a moment and say thanks to all my loyal readers, you bring meaning to my life more than you know.

peace,

We'r running for Palmer

Come Saturday morning, Bean and I will run 13.1 miles in Indy because we've prepared ourselves to do so. But its more than that, you see, we're running for Palmer and we'll wear signs that say so. At each mile marker, as we drink some water and as much as our minds don't turn to mush, we will offer up simple prayers for the complete healing of our brother. We're running for Palmer, our pain will be in perspective.

Some days its cool to see the students "get" it. I've been trying to lay a foundation this quarter for the need of spiritual disciplines in our lives to give God space to work. Instead of relying on events, emotional highs and guilt ridden sermons, I am trying to shed light on the monastic way. Prayer, solitude, meditation, Scripture reflection, wholistic spirituality. For their quarter project, I gave them the option of writing a paper or trying a basic fast of something sacrificial. Some are trying a food fast, some are challenged with a media fast, but they have the option of sacrificing anything they depend on. One of the girls asked today if she could fast the need to look in a mirror for 24-48 hours. I found this to be an incredibly mature and introspective idea. A teenage girl wanting to deal with her vanity and need to be noticed or physically relevant. She wants to put her Christ following before her vanity. Friends, that's just good stuff. I look forward to reading her reflection of that experience. Teenage girls deal so much with body image and self-hatred because of their looks and their body types. I would love to see a revolution of Kingdom minded females who know they are more than what they look like and anchor their value in the fact that Abba is in love with them. I want to see my female students set free to be themselves and love who they are. Sometimes students "get" it and it makes my day.

Its a privelege to announce the Kingdom to those who have ears to hear. The Kingdom of God is pervasive reality, love it and live in it. Jesus did.

peace,

having troubles breathing

Got some news this morning that has taken my breath away a bit. My family is good and healthy, its nothing like that, its work related. But its a huge blow to my purposes here at CCS. I'm mostly speechless and a bit petrified for my future. Its been a bad couple of weeks in my vocational employment, it just got worse.

On the flip side, there is light around the corner and its in the form of a great community weekend. My best friend since college, Kevin Grand, is coming down from Michigan to spend the weekend. We always laugh our guts out together. My daughter, Megan, has her 7th birthday sleepover party on Friday night which should be entertaining. Then on Saturday is our OCC Harvest Fiesta w/ hayride, pumpkin patch, cider donuts, chili dinner, fire w/ smores, outdoor movie, worship, communion and camping out in my backyard. Much, much, much conversation and I'm coming into this pretty needy. Can't wait to be with my community.

Then Sunday night the Bengals are on Primetime, ESPN. Will be our toughest game yet. 5-0 is within our grasp.

For now, I'm gonna try and just concentrate on my breathing. My future presently looks like a walk by faith, it won't be the 1st time.

peace,

blue wednesday

Listening to a Coldplay song presently and the lyric goes "we live in a beautiful world", but sometimes I wonder. I still have this ongoing conflict and it continues to weigh me down. I have gone out of my way to talk in person, but they are continually made unavailable to me. Bascially, they don't want to deal with it, so I'm supposed to move on until something small happens in the future and it becomes bigger than its supposed to be. I'm not comfortable with this, but I'm getting really angry and having lots of guilt around it. Don't try to fix me, I'm processing, blogging, I'll be fine.

If you haven't gone there yet, read Palmer's blog today. The last paragraph is a teaching that pierced my soul. His life brings perspective to mine. I so wish my brother didn't have to suffer. We live in a beautiful world? sometimes i wonder.

peace,

heartbreaking homecoming game

first, let me just say to the students and former students that responded to my previous post, thank you. your words meant more to me than you know. You are the sole reason I am at CCS and I want you to see and experience the true Kingdom of God. Sometimes my role is to stand against the tyranny of religious influences, and in those times, you have my back. Thank you.

Last night was an absolute blast. We lost our homecoming game by an extra point in overtime. That was heartbreaking. However, the guys played their guts out, i was soooo proud of them. To those senior football players who read this blog, I have nothing but love for you, you left your heart on the field. I am still a bit heartbroken this morning with you, trying to get over it. At the same time, my chest is puffed out, I was so proud of my little brothers out there. I saw courage, I saw leadership and I saw warriors showing up in the fight. Good good stuff.

I'm chaperoning homecoming banquet tonight and I have asked my daughter Alison to be my date. Nicki already had the "talk" with her a few weeks ago (she's 8) which is more of an ongoing conversation about healthy sexuality. Tonight I am taking her on a date and showing her the way she deserves to be treated by any dude that takes her out in the future. That is, any guy who has the guts to look me in the eye and tell me their intentions :) I'm looking forward to a fun night w/ Ali, she loves being around the older students.

Oh yeah, got a free ticket to the Bengals game tommorrow vs. the Houston Texans w/ my brother-in-law. Can you say Who Dey again? A big win tommorrow will help me get over the heartbreak of friday night. Regardless, I should lose my voice by the end of the 1st quarter. Prediction: Bengals 31 Texans 17. I'm going to wake up and run 8-10 miles to start my Sunday, that should be good times too.

peace to your weekend,

mmmmmmmmmmmm . . . conflict

Conflict is so fun, so energizing, so full of life, so fulfilling, so meaningful, so . . . whatever. Here are some slogans . . . "Conflict, tastes like chicken", "Conflict, the other white meat", "Conflict, better than a sharp stick in the eye."

Would you guess that I'm in the middle of a conflict on this fine friday? Not only is it just good old fashioned conflict, its with in theory, one of my superiors :) This is a situation where mostly I am just caught in a cross-fire having intended to just try and offer help. Well, sometimes the helper gets it in the behind. What saddens me is the inability to be adult, let alone Kingdom hearted folk. Why does everything have to be personal? If we were secure with who we are in Christ, then we can just talk about the issue. Why can we turn things to be all about "me" and everybody is against "me"? Why can't people's words be taken for what they are, instead of being perceived and seen through our baggage? Conflict is so much fun. I have attempted to "clear the air" with this person and correct any misperceptions, but they have made themselves unavailable to me. I have become the lightning rod of their conflict with many other people, which is a pretty sweet deal for me. I honestly have nothing personal wrapped up in the issue, but I do get the opportunity to carry the emotion of it all weekend or until whenever this individual will meet with me.

You see, I've been here before. Many years ago as the youth pastor on a mult-staffed growing church. The Pastor was hurting and needed help. I offered help and led the staff to try and help. The elders behind all our backs turned to me to take on more of the pastoral leadership behind the pastor's back. The Pastor perceived me as one of the ringleaders for a coup. That wasn't the case, I was trying to help him because I cared, I didn't want his job by any means. But I was the lightning rod. The most mature thing I could do was resign for the better of the Body, I couldn't compete with the perception. (oh yeah, that was the last time I was in formal ministry) The Pastor ended up having a nervous breakdown while in the pulpit a couple months later. What followed for me was about a 4 year depression, that was good times. I don't think this situation will be like that, but that one blindsided me as well. Like I said, conflict is awesome.

I'll part with these words today. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

monking in the real world

I keep coming back to this topic over and over, because I want to be better at it. I want to learn to immerse my life in spiritual disciplines, or as Willard puts it, "off the spot" training, all while living and being in mission to the real world. The Incarnation is our model, the purity of God, becoming man and dwelling amongst them. I am by nature missional, its the monk part I really have to work on.

In today's Finan reading form Celtic Daily Prayer it says, (re: Celtic monastic Christianity) "People could opt for an ordinary life in the world, living the faith within the normal structures of human and political life, or could withdraw from everyday concerns and pursue their Christian vocation either as a solitary or as a member of an intentional community. This radical new alternative was obviously particularly attractive in a time of social upheaval."

I'm learning that the more I quiet my soul with spiritual disciplines, the better leader and apprentice to Jesus I am. I'm also learning that the Kingdom is too much of a "kept secret" and needs to be announced and proclaimed in every sector of the society I live in for the sake of Christ. Monking in the real world is more of an art than a science I suppose. Its a life concept that I never want to give up on, it seems to be what Jesus perfected.

Stop and monk in your world today,