Got some news today that took my breath away. Its job related and just weighs very heavy on my heart. Creates an atmosphere of uncertainity for me about the future and I just don't welcome that. Maybe some day I'll figure out what I want to do when I grow up. The bi-vocational life of a missionary is pretty hard most of the time. I know a lot of people doing it but I know of nobody who has it figured out. On the flip side, I don't know if I could ever do vocational ministry again and yet its what I'm most wired relationally and gifted to do. The trade offs are enormous. That's all kind of discouraging today.
I want to believe that God has something in mind, but my cynical self wars against that voice. I suppose they wouldn't call it faith if it didn't involve trust, eh?