Tuesday, October 14, 2003

"You will not think clearly about your life until you think mythically. Until you see with the eyes of your heart." -waking the dead

Sometimes I wish that I had never seen clearly at all. Remaining plugged to the Matrix has its advantages. As Frodo said, "I wish the Ring had never come to me". Because with seeing clearly the salvation story and the Kingdom that prevails is a blessing and a curse. The burden of not going through the motions, not being able to just shut up and let status quo roll on. I grow weary of carrying the burden. I feel the pain of the people journeying around me and I watch them choose to return to their sin of choice over and over again stuck in patterns of irrational thinking. We hate the Matrix and we love the Matrix. We hate the Ring and we love the Ring. We hate consumerism and we love consumerism. We hate selfishness and we love being selfish. We are interconnected with our own sin, co-habitating and co-dependent. Seeing clearly is painful. It makes you question everything. It changes the way I teach everyday, its annoying. I can get out the pat answers I want to say so that I can move on and can Christianity enough so I can grade it. Instead I'm enslaved to re-frame the story for them over and over in terms of the Kingdom of God and not evangelical catch phrases. I supppose I feel burdened today, it happens every so often. Not sure if its my depression raising its ugly head or a sense of responsibility and inadequacy. I see, sense, feel and smell the stench and pain of evil around me today. Its a burden to carry but atleast I can see clearly.

Stop and notice the Kingdom today.


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