Tuesday, June 14, 2005

so . . . the doctor said our son is severely impaired

Nicki and I took Zach to the speech pathologist specialist today w/ Cincinnati Children's hospital and had our suspicions somewhat confirmed. We have noticed more and more that our soon to be 3 year old son is very behind developmentally, particularly in speaking and learning. I was expecting the results to be something like "Zach is behind but its pretty normal and if you just give him some time, he'll be talking your ear off." But what we got is "Zach is severely impaired" and is measuring at the 3-9 month level instead of the 36 month level. So my almost 3 year old has not yet developed to the point of a 1 year old?? Then the doctor began rattling off therapeutic options and special need programs. There was ZERO time to process the 1st statement. Both of Zach's older sisters have been over the top healthy and we've never had to deal with anything out of the normal so this is all new. The Dr. was not able to say why he is so far behind, just describing that he is. Is it developmental and something he'll snap out of with some work? Is it an illness in his brain or chemical make-up? Well, the answer to those questions will come with some further testing. Oh joy. I've had some fears that Zach is showing signs of autism and today didn't help with those fears.

I want to know the facts, I don't want to be naive but it seems the medical industry does not deal with the person, just the diagnosis and the treatment. Its an impersonal industry of #'s and medications. This is just not how I aprroach life so when I come into contact with those values it just leaves me feeling a little bit icky.

There is also a part of me that says your labels don't dictate our future. The victim mentality can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nicki and I will ultimately decide what is best for Zach and we will do it with all the information and discernment we can get our hands on. In God's Kingdom, the sick can be well, the blind can see, the lame can walk, the mute speak, the prostitutes are forgiven, the captives are set free and the dead live again. So don't flippantly label my son what the @#$% chart says. Talk to me as a person, speak to me on my level, incarnate your gifting into our world, enter into our situation or get out of our way. This world is not our home. We are but aliens and travelers through on a bigger journey. We respect this time and this place but we live in a different reality.

I know that we're supposed to be intimidated by this talk of deficiency, decay and death in this world. I know that we're supposed to fall down and call the scientific worldview our reality. I know that we're supposed to bow before the altar of medical technology and knowledge. I know that doctors are supposed to be our demi-gods. But none of that suits us very much, frankly, we just don't receive it. You see, we are people of the Ressurection and death has lost its sting. That Jesus character has passed on this nasty habit of rising again.

peace to you and your community tonight,

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