Thursday, June 29, 2006

when God speaks

Every once in a while, if I get quiet enough, I can hear the whisper of God. Its always a mixed bag of reactions from me. Today, just driving a 30 mile trip between Dayton and Cincinnati, I hear the voice and a myriad of things begin to happen.

1) I'm absolutely floored that the One who is orchestrating the universe is taking time for me. By definition, that makes me valuable because He is ascribing value to me. For a kid from a divorced home who always thought he had to "achieve" something to be valuable, I get overwhelmed by this reality. I am His son, and I matter to Him. un-freakin'-believable.

2) The overwhelming realization that I'm not worthy. There is sin that must be confessed, failures of selfish living that don't measure up to the Kingdom reality. His presence is Holy, and I realize quickly that I am not.

3) He reveals the blessings in my life, particularly relationships. People I am in community with and I just begin to pray for them. My physical family, my spiritual families (OCC and Elpida), the people in my contexts day in and day out. I realize how much affection is in me for these people. I long for them to be blessed by God.

4) Then comes some sort of challenge. I hear Him say, "Chris, do you want to go all the way w/ this?" What does He mean? What is His point? The Spirit reveals and its all about the Kingdom now and the spiritual war we find ourself in. I miss Palmer, I miss Chad and I long for more Kingdom. I want their legacy to live on. I want to see and experience the spontaneous expansion of the Church into the broken places of our earth. I want those outside of Kingdom community to come inside and beging to experience the Truth of their existence. I dream of more, much more. More for me and the world I live in. In every sense, I want to see His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

5) With a challenge comes responsibility. To go all the way, will I deny myself more? To be more humble, am I willing to be humiliated? To dream long-term, will I be disciplined in the short-term? Will I make my life not about myself, but about Him and my neigbor? Those are the questions my life has to answer.

When God speaks, creative things happen. I want to be a part of that Creation.


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