Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I'm not sure what my problem is today but I've seem to have hit a wall. I feel like I just lectured one of my senior bible classes on how we have reduced the Gospel to heaven/hell and getting saved (i.e. Dallas Willard thoughts)and that we don't have a freakin' clue. I feel tired and worn out with what I've been seeing lately. And then I look at the students and they are bored out of their mind. Jesus is a cliche. Religion has ruined them for life. But all that they are sick of has NOTHING to do with Jesus. Its man made systems based in fear and control. Its not the Gospel. Jesus draws, but he's not invited. My heart is so heavy for this scenario. I know that the Jesus of the Kingdom can transform them, but in my position, I just represent the system. My cynicism is raising and that usually leads to unhealthy comments coming from my mouth. Jesus said "follow me", not "get saved". We dwell on 1/2 the Gospel and have no theology for Jesus following. I want to come out of my skin. Sit down, sit down, sit down your rocking the boat. Chill out, Marshall, let it go, let em sleep. And if this is the case, then don't ask me to @#$% care. Don't ask me to program changed behavior from within a system that sucks the life out of the Truth. Don't ask me to pimp out a safe Jesus who is separated from his reality. The Kingdom of God is all pervasive reality, living outside of it is death and separation. Religion is irrlevant and yet its my daily grind, and I get paid to represent it. AAAAGGGGHHHHH. Venting done.

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