Resting and Racing

We got back home @ 2:30 a.m. on Saturday morning after a horrendous drive home from Florida. We hit major traffic 3 times which added 5-6 hours to our trip. We were completely exhausted. However, we had a great vacation. 4 days at Universal Studios, 1 day at water park and 1 day at Disney World. No wonder we were exhausted. Lots of memories made and we got some good sun time as well.

I tried to rest as much as I could yesterday because this morning I ran the Cincinnati Heart Mini-Marathon which is a 15K or 9.3 miles. It was beautiful weather but within the first 2 miles I had major cramping in my right leg, I believe due to 19 hours of driving on Friday. I had to do a little walking and stop to stretch it out real good and wonder if it would loosen up at all or if I'd have to turn and walk home. By the 3rd mile, blood was flowing and I found a pain-free rythymn. There were a lot of hills on this course, in fact the whole race is up and down hills and I wasn't used to it. After 7 miles, it got to be a matter of survival. I finished as strong as I could but not in the time I was hoping for. Some days you go out to run and you just don't have it and all you can do is push through it. This was one of those days for me. I now have one month and I'm running the Flying Pig 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles). Its gonna require a good month of training for me but that all starts tommorrow. For tonight, I will rest, eat some pizza and watch the opening night of baseball cuz then its back to work.

peace,

Spring Break is upon us

At 2:54 p.m. our Spring Break begins. By 4:33 p.m. we will be pulling out of our driveway for a trek southwards to the great state of Florida. We're staying in Orlando at a condo for 7 nights and visiting Universal Studios. I'm looking forward to a great time with the family but not the 15 hour drive. We are driving through the night to beat traffic and travel while the kids are sleeping so pray for us to be attentive and alert. I loaded up my ipod last night and even downloaded the NT Message on it for some Scripture time. We'll be back in time for my next race which is a 15K (9.3 miles) on April 3.

I have my ipod and itrip all ready and also my laptop w/ Creature II speakers as a DVD player for the kids. We've rented a Tahoe for the trip and will be turning it into a roving DJ home theatre.

Most of all in this time off, I'm wanting to reflect on the suffering of my Christ. Like Apostle Paul, I want to know him personally and the power of His Resurrection. I'll be bringing my Celtic Daily Prayer for us to reflect on in the evenings together as a family.

He is Risen!
peace,

Some guy popped "the question" on me

I shadowed another High School Bible teacher yesterday at an independent Baptist School in Kentucky. Our school is moving to block scheduling next year so we're observing to see the longer class times in action. Let's just say that this guy's style and philosophy of teaching is quite opposite of mine. They are a strict dispensational theology school, I didn't know those kind still existed :)

So in the first 30 minutes of conversation, it was inevitable in this atmosphere that he would pop me "the question". "So Chris, are you premillenial then?" I didn't know outside of 1974 that people still asked this question. Are you kidding me? This was before he knew if I was married or had kids. This question comes before, so Chris, you follow Jesus? The important question seems to be if I have the whole Bible broken down into scientific dissections of time and micro-theologies so as to have absolute knowledge which must mean sound doctrine. I just don't get it. I should laugh, I should cry, I should just move on.

peace to your day,

11 miles and counting

I just completed an 11 mile training run. I'm not sure if I should feel good about myself or have my head checked. It was really hard. Anything after 7 miles for me just feels like pain and isn't fun right now. We'll see if that gets any better.

Today is a holiday for me, its fantasy baseball draft day, doesn't get better than that.

peace,

A night St. Patrick would be proud of

Last night was therapeutic for me, so much laughter just released the stress of the week. It was an honorable fellowship represented by Creech, Brandon, Klinefelter, Canipe, Johnson, Rains and myself. A Pope action-figure had center stage at our table and drew rave reviews from the many inebriated patrons of the Dubliner. I got accosted in the restroom for wearing my London Underground shirt on St. Patrick's Day in an Irish pub by a looney Irishman. I think he wanted to harm me, but it was hard to decipher in between the f-bombs he was throwing. I let him know that my lineage runs through Belfast and I wasn't afraid to show my affiliations. It was then that women started coming into the Men's restroom because the line in their restroom had reached an unbearable point. So I guess I was off the hook.

Around some coffee and dessert later in the evening, we had a pretty compelling conversation about the nature of organizations and servant leadership. Structurally, what did Jesus mean when he called us to be a "diaknos"? And do we take that call seriously even to the point it hurts? I got some things off my chest and found them on welcomed ears of brotherhood. I love my friendships with these guys. I honor and respect their gifts, leadership, minds, hearts, actions, communities, theology and their love for me and one another. This was a Kingdom evening that came just in time. I am so blessed.

Stop and Notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

Wearing Protestant Orange

I grew up in Irish-Catholic neighborhoods in Philly and my family heritage goes back through Belfast in Northern Ireland as militant Protestant Irishmen. If any of us was caught by my grandmother out wearing green on St. Patricks Day, we were ordered to go back inside and change and put on our orange. So today I am wearing my orange to honor my grandmother who passed this year.

Im just being humorous with my colors today, but it is a sad reality of the violence between Protestants and Catholics in Ireland and beyond. "Broken bottles under children's feet . . . " the lads from U2 have protested these tragedies through their music for years. I am pro-peace, which is the stance of Christ, period.

St. Patrick I would say is in my top 5 of influential people in my life. His approach to church planting and being missional fundamentally changed the way I do ministry. I honor him today, his courage and his heart and his God.

peace,

New RSS Feed

Note: I have switched my rss feed from atom to feedburner. If you are currently subscribing to my feed, please resubscribe using the new feed. Click the icon on the right sidebar for more information. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Also, if you are using Firefox and want to subscribe to this feed - you can go to Paul McGillivary's Tech blog, PaulTech, to see a short tutorial on how to do that.

When the gospel isn't the Gospel

You know I have been accurately criticized in the past for being angry, reactive, overly emotional, arrogant, boat rocker etc. etc. etc. I once was a poster child for an evangelical leader and through various scenarios, I became depressed when I discerned that it was all maybe a lie. That the Gospel of Christ that I found so compelling was actually different altogether from the system I found myself in. I wasn't trying to be critical or judgmental, the whole situation leveled me to the core and I felt pain more than anger initially.

Anger came later but being responsible under God, I tried to balance my anger/deconstruction with real hope/construction. I didn't want to sit around and complain, I wanted to create the community that could embody what I thought the Gospel was about. So I fired myself from a vocational pastor position but was left with few options for working for a living. I wasn't sure how else to make it work so I took a job at a Christian High School and believing that it would help me process my anger and pain.

In many ways it has, giving me a platform to proclaim the Gospel of the Kingdom in the way that I understand it and within the context of real, ongoing relationship. But my hope has taken a tumble. In a situation I tried to stand up for what I believe the Gospel to be about and it was rejected by the administration above me. I can't share details but its a blow to my recovery in my cynicism. Sometimes I feel like it is all a lie. Sometimes I have no idea what we are claiming to be about. Sometimes I realize that the Gospel just doesn't work in top-down institutions where the law is easier to govern by.

I can't separate my heart from the Gospel I teach. It has no power if its only an academic subject. And if its just an academic subject then I am a whore, a sell out to the purity of the truths of Christ and His Gospel of reconciliation. I feel like I represent a lie, it makes me sick to continue today. Sorry for the gloomy blog today.

peace,

From PBS.org - Nova

elegant universe
Finally crossed something off of my to-do list. I watched the 3 hours of streaming video off of the Nova site regarding "String Theory" or Einstein's hunches that a theory of everything exists. The link to the videos is above. I am poor in math and science but the theory fascinates me. It suggests the mathematical realities of parallel universes and hidden extra dimensions. I wonder if they are stumbling into the physical reality of the spiritual realm. I believe that the fullness of Kingdom (our historic view of heaven) is not a realm far away in the sky but actualling a dimension near to us that is acceisble through the spiirtual disciplines. String theory seems to be dabbling into such ideas that are not new at all to anyone who follows the Script of Yahweh's Creation.

They think they have gotten closer to explaining the nature of the Big Bang but still can't account for where the particles or membranes came from that exploded. They reject the idea that something came nothing which is logical. They also reject the idea that whatever put the particles there must have pre-existence or be eternal. They are no closer to explaining the origin of the universe as they ever have been. I still find it all very fascinating and I learned a lot.

The series is called "Elegant Universe" and they agree that it is made up of incredible design. Then why is it so hard to believe that it was made by an intelligent designer who was the uncaused Cause to all things? His Revelation of Himself is the Theory of Everything. Its a metanarrative that makes sense and answers my deepest longings. For now, I'll so some more researching on string theory.

peace,

Got the internet results of the race yesterday, I finished 101 out of 135 10K runners, and in the 30-35 year old age bracket, I finished 6th out of 6 :) However, I think I finished 1st in the super heavyweight division if they had one. And I figure I finished in front of the other 300,000 30-35 year olds in the area who were home waking up from their hangover or having a donut breakfast. (mmmmm . . . donuts) God did not make me a long-distance runner, he made me as a linebacker who can run with a little discipline. :)

peace to your sabbath day,

Ran my first race today, the Emerald Miles 10K run (6.2 miles). It was a fun atmosphere, just getting a feel of the enviorment for these local races. There are real runners and then there are the rest of us. My goal was to finish with a total time of 1 hour 13 min. or so. Well, we had the wind at our back for the last stretch and everything felt good, I finished at 1 hour 5 min. That was fun, running past the Reds and Bengals stadiums and along the Ohio River. This is the 1st step towards the Flying Pig 1/2 marathon on May 1. That is the finish line I am shooting for. I just read over that course and it has a 2 1/2 mile steep uphill portion to the top of a peak in the Nati. Let's just say that my training has just begun if I'm going to conquer that kind of giant. I love a competitive challenge and I have my hands full.

peace to you this weekend,

Ok, I would like to now cover a few really important issues:

1) UC lost in their 1st game of their own conference tournament . . . ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etc. etc. etc. Moving to the Big East next year should crush them.

2) My Xavier Musketeers (let's give some love to our Jesuit Christian brothers) are playing at their highest level of the year, everything is clicking. We need to win today and tommorrow to make it into the Big Dance and we wanna go dancing really bad. Go X!!!

3) About a month away from the NFL draft and into the free agency season and Marvin Lewis is showing himself to be masterful once again. Building with what we have, being patient and waiting for the market to come down to sign not one overpriced guy, but a few bargains as he's done in the past. He's a non-conforming genius. Come draft day, I know that he will do the right thing with a plan in mind and that's all we can ask for. Coach Marvin is getting to legendary status in my mind. Bengals are heading to the playoffs in 2005.

4) There is a lot of hope surrounding the Reds this year and for good reason. The offense looks stacked, the starting pitching is very improved and the bullpen doesn't have a weakness. For the first time in atleast 4 years, I'm genuinely excited about baseball starting because of the Reds. We have none of those moron steroid users, our boyz are au naturale. You can tell by looking at them, they are just pure ball players. Its about time to move out the cold and bring home the boys of summer.

5) I'm running my 1st race tommorrow. Its a 10K in downtown Cincy to support Leukemia charities. Im wrestling with a cold so Im giving my body the whole day off today from any exercising. My body definitely feels less thatn 100% but hopefully I can work through any fatigue. The worse part is that we are expecting 1-3 inches of snow overnight and it may be below 30 degrees during the run. Geesh, nice conditions for my first race. The only upside is that its the same conditions I've been training in. I can't wait to get to Florida in less than 2 weeks and run in the warm sun.

ok, enough of the important stuff, peace of Christ unto your day/weekend.

I wanted to thank those of you who took the time to pray for me and encourage me today, it worked :) As the day grew on, my countenance just lifted.

I had a couple of those kind of "off the cuff" conversations with some students today during class that makes teaching worth it sometimes. They wanted to know about my views on heaven, hell and the realm of eternity. And after I finished explaining it the way I've undsterstood them (thank you N.T. Wright and Willard) one student sat back and said: "now, that is cool" and another one said: "your view has a lot of implications for the way we live now" (amen, amen, amen) and a 3rd student said: "its a good thing I took a nap in the last class because I was able to understand atleast 50% of what you just said." I love these kind of exchanges with teenagers, its very satisfying.

Tonight at house church while reflecting during a song on the theme of lent and why Christ took the time to get on a horrific cross for us. During the song, I just felt incredibly loved by God. You can't manufacture that kind of reflection, it just happens to you. It was like the joy of my salvation came rushing back as the time I received it at 17. Then we discussed the narrative of the demon posessed man and the herd of pigs in Matthew 8 and it was a great interaction. It recounted for me the enemy that we face and why I'm driven to have my boot in his teeth. Our King has Supreme power and we have nothing to fear. Let's keep this fight going.

I love my spiritual community and that includes all of you out there in blogdom that has my back. We are one, one Spirit, one baptism, one Faith. You have given me the experience of Kingdom Come today.

peace,

my heart is really heavy today, didn't sleep much. I have war happening on atleast 5 different fronts. I really am not at liberty to share on any of them but it is really weighing me down. But it is what it is, its war. Some of it is deeply personal and I don't hide my emotions well. Pray on, press on, show up in the fight today.

On a positive note, after week #9 of Body for Life I have lost 32 lbs. and I ran 9.4 miles on Sunday. Im training for a 10K this sat., a 15K in april and a 1/2 marathon on May 1. The big goal is to run the full Columbus marathon on October 16. The battle to lose the weight and keep it off is a lifetime goal.

Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own, U2

Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff
You’re telling me and anyone
You’re hard enough

You don’t have to put up a fight
You don’t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don’t have to go it alone

The calling to be a pastor has been likened to being like a shepherd. Tonight I am absolutely heartbroken over one of my sheep. I don't know which way this person will choose. But I want them to know that they don't have to go it alone, that I will be committed to shepherding them to the very end. That I will lead them to the Good Shepherd who makes all things new. That if I smell even a hint of the wolf around, I will put my foot on its neck til it stops breathing. I'm not sure if this sheep thinks it can do it on its own, but I know they can't. I don't know if this sheep will let us carry it, but that's what it needs. Pride has been the downfall of many a person, but I don't want it on my watch. I don't know which way the sheep will choose, and it breaks my heart tonight. None of us have to go it alone, ever.

And so, I saw a vision. It just happened. Friends, we're at war, and its raging. Here's what I saw:

"I was walking at night in a cemetery, I was alone, it was dark, it was cold and the stench of death was all around me. Cement gravestones, cracked tombs with vines growing intertwined all around them, there was no color, everything was in black and white. I was drawn to one particular gravestone in the shape of a cross, it was leaning over like someone had tripped over it. I was standing before it and I looked to the dark night sky and there were what seemed to be spirits of death soaring over me. They were flying in every direction, active in the night. Then I realized that I was no longer standing, but kneeling before this grave. And courage was welling up within me and I screamed into the night a cry of willingness. I looked around a 2nd time and I wasn't alone, in the distance I could many of you kneeling before similar stones crying out to the night. I saw Keck, I saw Bean, I saw Arlen, I saw Joe Long etc. etc. I saw as far as the eye could see saints crying into the darkness and it didn't seem so dark anymore. And then I awoke."

We are all interconnected in this war, we need each other, we need to cry louder, we need to keep our swords at our sides, we need to bring the fight to the enemy with zero fear, we need to meet him, we must not back down, we will win this fight, but we must prepare ouselves and bring it everyday. We are never alone, never. Rain down your HOPE oh Lord, rain down your hope.

I have come to realize that the enemy has been actively seeking to destroy the work that God has been doing through Ordinary Community Church. Seeking to steal, kill and destroy. Its not that he has infiltrated our camp, its that we moved into the same neighborhood. It is indistinguishable our territory from his. We are at close quarters and the stakes have never been higher for us. Well, I'm here tonight to say in the words of Doc Hollywood, "I'm your huckleberry". (thanks Keck)

If you want a piece of my spiritual family than you can come through me. If you want deeper influence, then your going to have to take it from me personally. If you want what is not yours, then your going to fight for it. We walk in the power of the ressurrection and we fear you not. I'm going to sleep well tonight unless Abba wakes me up to pray and then I'll take my orders from Him. Whatever He commands I will do, I know no other way, He holds the words of life. When I awake in the morning, I will be back you slimy bastard. And come death or Kingdom Come in fullness, I will bring the fight to your doorstep. You see, my cries have been heard tonight and its in Him I trust.

Remember the scene in Braveheart after Wallace's big speech in full warrior gear at the battle of Stirling. He turns to his inner circle and they say "Where are you going?" Wallace responds: "I'm going to pick a fight." Then they turn to each other and one says "Well . . . atleast we didn't get dressed up for nothing." Those words have never been so true.

Friends, bring the fight to your particular context, and don't relent. I'll see you on the field.

A new bro has started blogging, welcome my friend Jon Allis. http://moredeadthannot.blogspot.com/

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. . . Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love each other, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." -I John 4:7-8, 11-12

I am saddened today to hear of more news of students who have chosen not to become Apprentices of Jesus because of their experiences with other "Christians". Frankly, sometimes in this Christian School atmosphere, Love takes a backseat to legalistic discipline. The message we send is "look" right, not live rightly. But that's not what upsets me. What upsets me is our lack of love. I'm not talking about mushy feeling love, I'm talking the kind of love that turns the other cheek in the midst of adversity. I'm talking about the kind of love that gladly gives up their life for another. I'm talking about the kind of love that sees no prejudice. I'm talking about the kind of love that comes from a heart that has been transformed. Dallas Willard calls it a heart that has become rennovated. Is that what Paul meant when he said to become "complete" or "mature"? This love comes out of a disciplined life of denying self. This love comes from what Nouwen calls "becoming irrelevant" so that we are finally free to love our neighbor.

A lack of extravagant love grieves my heart. May I not be today what I grieve. May the Love of God flow through me.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

Maybe I've been watching too many movies lately, (Constantine last night and re-watching The Last Samurai now), but the whole idea of war and fighting has been on my mind. I believe that I am not just made of flesh and blood, but that I am also a spiritual person. My battles are not fought in the physical world, but in the spiritual realm and it has direct effects in the physical realm. I believe that the Kingdom of Heaven and the stench of Hell are nearby and at certain times and in certain places, I am more aware of their presence. One of my favorite lines from "Fight Club" is: "Its not until you've lost everything that you are finally free to do anything." War with the Enemy is a one way street, once your in, your in. For whoever puts his hand to plow and looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.

I live at peace with all my neighbors but my heart is at war. I war against pain and hardship, despair and injustice. I war against hate and suffering, evil and my own selfish nature. I long for the day when the coming Kingdom is complete and the war will be over, but for now it wages on. I don't understand a Gospel without a war, I don't understand a Church without an army, I don't understand a pastor who is not a warrior. I don't love the fight, I just understand its reality. The Enemy is here to destroy the work of the Father, but the Kingdom is an unstoppable force. I war for the King.

Fear not for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

peace,

Things seem to be stirring within the spiritual realm. Since Saturday night those who were present in prayer or actively in prayer for Palmer have been having dreams, seeing visions, woken in the night to pray, visited by demons and some of us have also manifested some of Palmer's symptoms all while Palmer is feeling well, energetic and hopeful. Things are happening, God is with us and the enemy is all around us. Maybe this is always the way it is but now our sight is just more ardent and clear. Palmer warned us that we were putting ourselves in harms way by entering this battle but I crossed that line a long time ago. I don't fear the enemy nor his schemes, but more than that. I'm not sitting back just waiting to return fire. I am waging war in the spiritual realm that has direct connection to the physical world. Our weapons are love, faith, perseverance, prayer, truth, hope, humility, courage and the resources of an unshakeable Kingdom. We rush to meet our enemy on this field. I will not stop bringing the fight to where I find him. Lord Jesus, bring complete healing to Palmers body.

peace,

Body For Life Update:
At the conclusion of week #7, I have lost 25 lbs. and about 2 waist sizes. Strength training is thinning me out and giving me stability for my running. My goal was to run a 5K in March and a 10K in April but I'm pretty far ahead of schedule so the plan has changed. I will be running a 10K on March 12, a 15k on April 3 and a half marathon (13.1 miles) on May 1. This is a very aggressive plan but its just right to keep me focused.

Tonight I did something I've never done before. I ran 5 1/2 miles. I've been running 3 miles, 3 times a week for a few weeks so I just about doubled it tonight. Its a little over an hour of running for my big frame and I almost stepped on a skunk, but all is well. Looking forward to a couple days of rest until the next run but its definitely a feeling of accomplishment.

Its amazing how much my physical progress has affected me spiritually. Winning some physical battles has energized me for winning spiritual battles. I have a lot more energy for serving, teaching, thinking, loving, leading etc. I think I'm a better husband because I have more energy to help around the house and lighten the burden for my wife. I notice that I am playing more with my kids and my confidence being up in front teaching has increased. In addition, I'm sleeping well and that affects everything. If any of you are looking for a plan to make some positive changes in your physical life, I highly reccomend Body for Life. Its not rocket science and its not a magic pill, but its a good plan.

peace,

Last night was, well, special. Shared a common meal with many like-minded folk at the Brownhouse, thanks once again to the Rains for their hospitality. Around 6:30 we moved upstairs to a more private room and had a time of listening, worshipping, annointing, proclaiming, Scripture reading, declaring, loving, speaking, seeing, believing, hoping and healing for Palmer. Those present were the Palmers, Klinefelter, Brocks (thanks for the worship), Mcgillivary, Johnsons, Rains, Creech, Beans, Kenny O and myself. It was an intimate, holy time. The presence of our King was powerful and we sought to bear the burden of our brother. While my hands were on Palmer, I received a vision/word from God that was as clear as any I've ever received. It was re: his healing and it seemed to connect with him in a way that only God can orchestrate. The vision alone had me in tears, then when I opened my eyes, I looked down and the physically challenged Kenny O was under me kissing Palmer's feet. Friends, it was holy ground.

After we finished praying, Palmer took the opportunity to say a few words, but make no mistake about it, it was a Kingdom teaching, I'm still chewing on it. He spoke of our physical war against the Kingdom of Darkness and our inter-connectedness in that war. That prayer and our spiritual disciplines are not just abstract concepts that we practice "out there", but they are the real work of battle day in and day out in a War that we sometimes don't admitt that we are in. He was animate about pointing out that nights like this aren't just "neat" to be a part of, they are neccesary if we want to win this war, and for that night, it was a victory. There are many people who are enthusiastic in their initial experiences of this war, but the day in and day out battles is the true test of a solider.

Last night was special, today is a new day, its time to battle again. Do not give up praying for Palmer's complete healing.

peace,

I want to thank everyone who joined us in our solidarity to blog for Palmer today. The intent was very simple, to encourage the big man up in Columbus and to expose more people to the need to pray. Creech came up with the button for the blogs and that is now the official symbol of our movement :) Go to Palmer's blog and read what a great day he had, let's keep this kind of thing going.

I had a really long day, one of those 14 hour work days. Taught my 7 classes at school, led both the jr. high and sr. high weekly chapels, worked out, got home for 1/2 hour to change and eat dinner then to Indiana Wesleyan for a couple hours of a night job helping them with financial aid. I do this to have the opportunity to lead a simple church. One where it is not my vocation but my gifting and passion. Its not so much the sometimes long hours to make it all work that discourage me, its that OCC tends to get what's left of me and a lot of days that just isn't much. I can tell that atleast for the coming year that I will be teaching very sporadically at IWU in night classes so I applied to Mount Vernon Nazarene University tonight as well as adjunct faculty in education and biblical studies. Just trying to increase my chances of earning extra $ teaching. I figure if 4 jobs isn't enough, 5 has to be closer. Maybe my day job teaching gig will pony up the $ this year so I can cease the evening work and put some more time back into OCC. This is the challenge of being a bi-vocational pastor, but it is still the set of problems that I would rather have.

In order to chill tonight, I sat in my room, turned off the lights, lit some candles and played the DVD "U2 Live from Slane Castle". That'll do the trick everytime. I'll admitt that I'm a Bono freak. I think he's brilliant and secretly wish I was him. His artistry, passion and faith are qualities I want in me. He longs for Kingdom Come and won't accept counterfeits. One of my favorite quotes of his is "I'm a Christian, but sometimes I feel very removed from Christianity." Yeah, Bono, I know what you mean.

peace,

I have a Declaration to make: Today is February 16, 2004 year of our Lord and it is officially "Blogging for Palmer" Day! We are as a Body asking our Creator for a complete healing of Palmers Body.
Bro,
Your brothers and sisters are with you. You, Amy, Micah and Landing Place are in our hearts.

Palmer, this is my covenant to you:
For as long as it is needed I will pray,
For as long as it is needed I will listen,
For as long as it is needed I will believe,
For as long as it is needed I will hope,
For as long as it is needed I will proclaim,
For as long as it is needed I will come alongside,
For as long as it is needed I will walk with you,
For as long as it is needed I will call others to pray,
For as long as eternity, I will experience Kingdom brotherhood with you.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, this is my covenant to you.

I invite the readers out there to post your prayers and words for Palmer today, may they fill him w/ hope.

Enjoy Blogging for Palmer day!

10 things I love about life right now: (in no particular order)

1) Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'm going on 12 years of happy marriage, that doesn't suck.
2) I have solo kid duty from Friday through Tuesday coming up (Nicki in Florida), it'll be a lot of work but its also a lot of floor time with my kids.
3) Pitchers and Catchers report to Spring Training this week. Go Reds!
4) I've lost 21 lbs. in 6 weeks on Body for Life and I'm really liking the plan, its becoming a good habit.
5) I'm on schedule for my training to run a 5K on March 12 and a 10K on April 30.
6) I piece together 4 different jobs to make a living but I'm passionate about atleast 3 of them and am thankful for God's provision.
7) The Church continues to emerge in all its forms and contexts. It isn't always pretty, sometimes messy, but its evident that the Spirit of God on earth cannot be shut up.
8) I think I'm going to India and Germany this summer for 2 weeks and will bring Alison, my oldest daughter, with me for a formative shaping of her worldview.
9) My iPod rules! It may be the best Christmas present I've ever received, not including the Christmas I got my first Huffy bike.
10) My life is loaded with great friendships, They have depth and intimacy. I'm not alone, ever. I live in the reality of community. that rocks hizzy.

peace,

Here's a word from Luke 7 after Jesus had done some amazing healings:
"They all realized they were in a place of holy mystery, that God was at work among them. They were quietly worshipful - and then noisily grateful, calling out among themselves. 'God is back, looking to the needs of his people!' The news of Jesus spread through the country." (The Message)

God, bring to Palmer a place of holy mystery today and heal his body throughout. Amen.

The Kingdom is all around us, just waiting to be seen and experienced. Its waiting to transform us from self-absorbed living to the kind of living that is holy other. Its waiting to use us to destroy the enemy's work today. Its waiting to proclaim through us the hope of a Kingdom come and invite others into that experience. God is at work amongst His people.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

Sometimes being a teacher makes me sad. Being a high school Bible teacher, I inherit 143 young minds/hearts everyday coming from a myriad of theological backgrounds and upbringings. Its like seeing a cross-section of midwest evangelicalism: the good, the bad and the ugly. What makes me sad though is that by the ages of 16, 17 and 18, they have lost the awe and the mystery of the Script. Only some of them are rebellious, angry or indifferent. Some have a faith that has the depth of the Christian industry/sub-culture that is sold to them (i.e. attend the most exciting youth group, listen to only christian music and read Left Behind novels = their trinitarian theology). Some are bruised, beaten and defeated by painful home lives and having been caught in the crossfire of so many adult battles, they are brought here for the Christian school to hopefully make them right. The last category are the intuitive ones. They are searching after the real truth and won't accept a counterfeit. They ask a lot of questions, engage in discussions and seek to learn vs. getting a good grade. They seem to realize that parts of Christendom are nothing more than hype, marketing and systems of religiosity, while other streams of Christendom lead them to the truth they are desperately seeking.

What makes me sad is that we adults tend to systematize the mystery. We are always trying to get them to memorize the conclusions and don't let them feel engaged in the mystery of God. Our approaches to control them are all left brained and linear, while Jesus tended to teach in parables to engage the right side of the brain. We are teaching their minds, but we haven't captured their hearts. And then they graduate and are propelled into a world of other kingdoms to try because they never had a chance to taste the real Kingdom.

And so I find myself in a place of influence. In a week, I am leading chapel. How will I capture their hearts with the mystery of God? I have been chosen to give the commencement address at graduation this year. How will I send them out in the power of the real Kingdom? I have each day to teach. How can I be one who proclaims the mystery of the Truth and incarnate it in a real person? This is one of my present callings.

On a side note, I am praying over an invitation I received yesterday to teach at a seminary in India this summer. It would be for 2-3 weeks and I'm not sure I can be away from my family that long . . . but I sure would like to travel India :)

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

Are you supposed to cry on your drive to work? I'm being flooded with intense emotions but I have to suck it up and get to work, no space for solitude. I guess that's how the story goes today.

Was listening to these lyrics from Coldplay as I drove:
The Scientist
I was just guessing at numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start.
Running in circles, chasing tails,
And coming back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
Noone ever said it would be so hard.

I'm going back to the start.

This passage struck me today from Matthew 10:
"What's the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail - even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be initmidated by all this bully talk. You're worth more than a million canaries." (The Message)

I really hope these words are true today . . .

peace,

before I wallow in my immaturity, I'm over the Eagles loss and moving on. I just really had a great time with everybody at our party so it eased my pain quite a bit. Its now time to think about pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training and if my Xavier Musketeers can beat UC this week.

The second reason I have to snap out of it is because there are real needs out there like Palmer who starts chemo today. Lord, Jesus, heal his body and empower him for the journey this week, our hearts ache for you to be glorified in his healing. Hear our prayers.

I'm kind of wrestling today with job issues, being a bi-vocational pastor can really takes its toll on you sometimes. I'm feeling very stretched, a little overwhelmed, a bit discouraged and sometimes trapped. But my kids have never gone hungry and for this I should be thankful.

peace,

Patriots 24 Eagles 21
I'm depressed . . . I don't feel like breathing . . .

Ok, today is "D-day" for the Eagles. The whole world is picking against them which should make them good and angry. I am a Bengals fan first and foremost but my Philadelphia roots are pretty strong too. I'll be preparing for our Super Bowl party most of the day today, having a big crowd coming over. This is just a good excuse for community time. We are watching Rocky 2 for pre-game Philly inspiration so here's another scene to get you in the mood.

Setting: Rocky's new wife Adrian has been in a coma since delivering their newborn son. Before she went into premature labor, they had a marital fight over Rocky not fighting Apollo Creed for the heavyweight title lest he get really hurt and lose his sight which happened in his first fight w/ Creed. Rocky has been spendng his time in the hospital chapel praying for her recovery and refused to see the baby until he saw him w/ Adrian. Rocky spends night and day at Adrian's bedside and decided to drop out of the fight and give in to Adrian's request. But . . . that's until Adrian came out of her coma . . .
Adrian now awake with newborn son in arms comes the following dialogue:

Rocky: Yo Adrian, I was thinking, you know I don't have to fight Apollo, I'm thinking I'm gonna cancel this fight and just spend some time w/ you and the baby and make sure your okay.
Adrian: Rocky, shh, shh, there's one thing I want you to do for me. Come here, closer
Rocky leaning close to Adrian over her hospital bed: What Adrian? What do you want me to do?
Adrian looking into Rocky's eyes: win . . . WIN!!!!!
Rocky sits up from the bed with his marching orders, his trainer Mickey is in the room and screams "WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?????????"

Insert Rocky Theme here and fade into the best 10 minutes in film history, Rocky training to fight Creed, running up the stairs of the Philadelphia Art Museum with a thousand kids jumping around him, the whole city of Philly was behind him and of course he won in dramatic fashion. Well, I predict the Eagles win in dramatic fashion too today.
Eagles 27 Patriots 24

Its all about the eye of the tiger . . . time to get my game face on.

I'm at the point in my teaching curriculum with seniors this year where we are studying post-Reformation theologies such as Calvinism, Arminianism and the new comer to the block, the open view of God. I always like talking with teenagers over these topics because they only care in so much as it matters to them and don't carry the pride of knowledge as in pastor circles. This whole conversation became healthy reminder to me that the large majority of evangelical church has bought, hook, line and sinker a reduced gospel. One that is only about atonement, forgiveness and where we go when we die. It doesn't matter that the discipleship language of the New Testament is dominantly in the Greek present tense of continuous action. We are called to be followers of Christ and become the people of God, not just get saved. Our reduced theologies have no responsibility for personal or communal spiritual formation. We've so systematized it that we've lost the wonder of the Story that we are a part of.

The Gospel of the Kingdom is that it is accessible now. I love this quote from Willard's Divine Conspiracy by Muggeridge:
"Jesus' good news then, was that the Kingdom of God had come, and that he, Jesus, was its herald and expounder to men. More than that, in some special, mysterious way, he was the Kingdom." -Malcom Muggeridge Jesus; The Man Who Lives.

I don't want to only bring critique to a church at large that has stripped the Gospel of its power for now, I also want to first look inward. I can articulate Kingdom now, teach it, write it, believe it . . . but do I live in its reality? It has direct implications to who I am and who I'm becoming. I want to walk in the power of the Resurrection now and display that power to the needs of people to the glory of God. Kingdom now is the most practical theology for real life and I want to live it and proclaim it so that others can taste of its goodness.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

I talked to Palmer yesterday and he begins his treatments on Monday and it will be 5 days a week for 6 weeks. We are hoping, depending on how he feels, to have him down here in the Nati at the Brownhouse on the evening of Feb. 18 or 19 so that we can do some concentrated prayer for a complete healing. Let me know if you could be here for one of those evenings and we'll get down to business.

Body for Life is rockin' and rollin', doing better all the time. I've lost 18lbs. now in 5 1/2 weeks and I'm still picking up momentum. I'm over halfway to my 12 week goal so I'm pretty stoked.

I'm also stoked about my Super Bowl party on Sunday, if your within ear's shot of this, your invited. Just a reason to get together and have a party and oh yes, it has a Philly theme. E - A - G - L - E - S . . . EAGLES!!!

peace,

Our Retreat was a lot of fun, lots of snow, lots of family time and our time of worship, conversation and prayer was a perfect diversion from real life. But I am in post-retreat coma, the head is in a complete daze. Come on diet mt. dew, do your thing!

I read this and it got me thinking this morning.
http://www.anewkindofchristian.com/archives/000271.html is a revealing article/response of Brian McLaren to a critique of the emerging church written in Christianity Today.

I resonate with a lot of what Brian has to say and the way in which he says it. And the longer I journey in this story known as "emerging church", I am realizing that its fundamentally not about doing church differently, but about trying to understand the Gospel and live it out without the parameters placed on it by modernism and traditional evangelicalism. It has more to do with Gospel than it does church. Our 1st question ought not to be "How should we worship? or teach?" or "Where should we meet?", but rather, "What does it mean to really be a follower of Christ?" That is the question that I am interested in. And out of that will flow the neccesary structures to build His Kingdom on earth. What I know is that the Gospel is not strictly about a place called heaven and hell, but rather I think its the Way to live and find your reality in. Its the experience of Kingdom Come in the now, and which certainly will find its fulfillment in the "not yet". Kindom is ultimate reality, just living with and near people and inviting them to the Kingdom experience is what Gospel means to me and its the most fulfilling journey I've ever been in or will ever find. It is the reason why I exist at all.

Please pray for Palmer. He is beginning 6 weeks of treatment (chemo/radiation) that are 5 times a week in order to shrink the tumor. Then he will have 6 weeks off of treatment leading to surgery to remove it. He is in a lot of pain now, and the treatments will most certainly debilitate the energy that he presently has. Over these next 6 weeks, I am calling for a fast for Palmer on Wednesdays. You can fast and pray in whatever form you are called to, but our brother needs us and this is a call that we need to answer. Feel free to email me with any questions, cmarsh01@fuse.net.

peace,

Leaving at 4:00 this afternoon the first annual Ordinary Community Church Family Winter Retreat. The intent is really focused on the kids, but we'll be doing some cool stuff w/ adults as well a little more in depth. Our theme is "Super Power Weekend." The 1st session is "God's Super Power" from Mark 2 of Jesus healing the paraplegic. The 2nd session is "Our Super Powers" from Judges 16 and Samson's giftings. The 3rd session is "Super Friends" from Luke 10 and The Good Samaritan. We'll be having a couple hours of prayer and worship for adults on Ssturday night and a Super Heroes Birthday party after dinner Saturday with all the kids in costumes. 32 of us are going, half of them kids. Its so Kingdom just to get away and spend concentrated time w/ our children. Oh yeah, and we're going to do some serious sledding, snow football, there's a huge indoor gym for hoops and volleyball, roast smores around the fire and lots of chill time. We're heading to Camp Burton in NE Ohio which is a good 4 hour trip for some community time. We're looking forward to a great weekend and the experience of God amongst us.

peace,

"One day in one of the villages there was a man covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus he fell down before him in prayer and said, 'If you want to, you can cleanse me.' Jesus put out his hand, touched him, and said, 'I want to. Be clean.' Then and there his skin was smooth, the leprosy gone." -Luke 5 (The Message)

My brother/friend, Palmer, found out last week that he has a tumor behind his rectum. This is the news that I referred to that kind of rocked my world. Considering his wife, Jennifer, crossed over to Kingdom fullness a year and a half ago at 26 w/ stomach cancer, the irony just smelled so much of the enemy's stench.

And so I come before you Lord, I come with the knowledge knowing that if you want to, you can heal him completely. That you could glorify yourself with your power amongst us. Jesus I ask you to "want to". Jesus, would you clean this sickness out of Mark's body? Would you touch the part that is unclean and renew the flesh? God, hear the prayers of your people, rising to you from all corners of your Body, on behalf of a fellow servant who lives a life of allegiance to you solely. God I want you to "want to"! You speak with words of life, speak into Mark's body today. Heal him and magnify yourself in that community. God, I want you to "want to".

Please pray for my friend.

Stop and notice the Kingdom amongst you today,

I have never cried in a movie theater before in my lifetime, until Saturday night. My wife and I took our date night to see "Hotel Rwanda" and its a great and important film. It tells the story of the genocide in Rwanda in 1994 and how the western world powers, including the U.S. sat by and did nothing. In 100 days, 800,000 people were killed mostly by machete. While Clinton was getting sexual favors in the White House office, horror was happenig in Rwanda and our institutional gov't structures couldn't cope. Of course it was justified at the time that leadership and personal integrity are not related issues, the important leadership issue is the economy. Tragically wrong.

This movie raises the question of evil in this world. Where does it come from? Why can there be so much hate? Why are we so cruel to one another for very little reasons? What is the source of our hate ideologies that justify inhuman cruelty? What can I do about it?
All questions I've been wondering about. Of course I know some of the answers, but to feel the weight of these issues, we need to wonder more and conclude less.

I found this artilce interviewing Madeline Albright and her reaction to Rwanda as she looks back:

"Where does Rwanda sit for you, on a personal and emotional level?It sits as the greatest regret that I have from the time I was U.N. ambassador and maybe even as secretary of state, because it is a huge tragedy, and something that sits very heavy on all our souls, I think.


Why a regret?
Because I wish it had been possible for us to do more, and President Clinton has said how much he has regretted it. I have reviewed the record a lot, and I don't think actually that we could have done more. I just wish that it had not been something that the international community was not capable of dealing with. So it's a huge regret.


I have been to Rwanda many times. I went and I met with orphans and widows. I went to see the mass graves. I saw the blood in the stadiums. So it's just a horrible, horrible story.


Why is it different from other tragedies?
This was such a massive killing in a very short period of time. Hundreds of thousands of people died very quickly. … I think going to Rwanda was one of the biggest shocks for me, and flying into a place that the church was actually the killing ground, because the Church was so strong there. People ran to the churches in order to flee from killing.

… Then there was a mass grave right next to it where the U.N. workers were excavating. There was a small skeleton that they had managed to excavate, which was about the size of my grandchild at that time. You could see the machete mark on the skull. Then going to this stadium where there was blood all over--

What had happened was that they herded the people into the stadium, and then cut their tendons at night when they'd run out of ammunition, so that they wouldn't run away."

How long oh Lord, do we have to sing this song? How long, do your people need to suffer? Some things I just don't understand.

YO ADRIAN!!!!!! WE DID IT!!!!!!!!
Ok, I can remember the night, it was a cool January evening in Philly where I grew up, I was 8 and my heart was broken. Why? Because the Eagles had just lost the Super Bowl to the Raiders 27-10. Now 25 years later. we're going back to the Promised Land, that's right, the Super Bowl! I will announce it here, the Super Bowl party is at my house. The Menu? Philly Cheesesteaks, philadelphia style soft pretzels and east coast pizza (thin crust and greasy) that you need to fold to eat. After 4 tries, we finally won the NFC Championship game and now T.O. will be back for the Big game. Oh yeah, for the pre-game entertainment at my Super Bowl party will be an exclusive viewing of Rocky 2 so that we understand the heart of a Philadelpha champion. I couldn't be more pumped up, just waiting to see who our AFC opponent will be. Apollo Creed couldn't beat us, Clubber Lang couldn't beat us, Ivan Drago couldn't beat us and Tommy Gunn couldn't beat us, so what hope do the Steelers/Patriots have?

I leave you with a quote from Rocky 2. Rocky decides to leave retirement and fight Apollo Creed again for a re-match while watching Apollo trash-mouth him on national TV and then there is a knock on the door. He opens the door and standing there is his old manager, Mickey. These words follow . . .

Mickey: (looks Rocky in the eyes, pauses and says) "I think we should know his block off!"
Rocky: (replies with a stone face) "Absolutely"

It is so on!!!!! The train to Jacksonville just left the station.

peace,

have you ever had the wind taken out of your sails? I got some news from a friend this afternoon that rocked me to my core, the shock is still settling. I will share more details as it becomes appropriate. For now I am reminded that I'm in a war, that there is a battle raging in a field not far from me and the enemy is still seeking to steal, kill and destroy. But I reject that outcome, the Spirit w/ in me breathes life, death has no sting. The enemy has shown his ugly face once again but I don't reccomend he get comfortable because he's not staying long. For who is this uncircumcised Philistine that mocks the armies of the living God??? We will face our enemy on this field, no matter how great, and we will win victory for His might is within us. So until I get different marching orders, I'm going in through the works of prayer and fasting and I'm not going to stop swinging until He speaks clearly. Come Lord Jesus, we need you this night . . .

I'm challenged this morning with the words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, from "Cost of Discipleship." I've been a little discouraged lately of my place of labor and how it doesn't match up with what I would want or plan for. Its not where I intended to be and at times I wish I was elsewhere. But these words pierced me today:

"(re: the disciples) Their work is to be Christ-work, and therefore they are absolutely dependent on the will of Jesus. Happy are they whose duty is fixed by such a precept, and who are therefore free from the tyranny of their own ideas and calculations . . . The choice of field for their labours does not depend on their own impulses or inclinations, but on where they are sent. This makes it quite clear that it is not their own work they are doing, but God's . . . If Christ will not let us preach the gospel in any particular place, we must give up the attempt and abide by his will and word. Thus the disciples are bound to the word and to the terms of their commission. They can only go where the word of Christ and his commission direct them."

Maybe I should have less agenda for where I am and put more work into my ability to trust Him.

peace,

"A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek;
I want to drink God,
deep draughts of God.
I'm thirsty for God-alive,
I wonder, "Will I ever make it -
arrive and drink in God's presence?" - Psalm 42 (The Message)

I want to be a man of God. I want to be a genuine follower of Christ. I want to be a man of the Gospel. I want to be a man of the Kingdom.

But in all this I fall short. It at times leaves me in shame, that I could be so close and yet still choose my own way and it leads to death. I believe in the power and accessibility of Kingdom Now, but rarely do I remain in its flow. Why can't I unplug from the influences of this world so as to focus more on the Kingdom that is unseen? What payoff am I getting from this unrennovated way of thinking/living? I fear that I am spending too much time teaching Bible and not enough time breathing it in for life itself. I'm wanting a new mind today, one that is craving the things of the Spirit. I want to drink of the wells that give life and pay attention to the Source of life. I believe its an act of will to turn my allegiance to Him, but His grace is always pulling me in that direction. I don't know why I ever resist, I need to let go of myself in His current today.

peace,

I really like the feeling of realizing that I'm part of a Story that is bigger than myself. Sometimes you get the sense, or pay enough attention to realize that the moving pieces around you are converging for reasons that are other than coincidental. I had coffee tonight w/ the honorable Glenn Johnson and we ended up sharing about ideas we had for our faith communities to partner together. But as we shared back and forth, I got the sense that we were "meant" to have this conversation on this night. That somewhere there was a Script that was being read and this moment had been written into it for purposes beyond my present understanding. I don't know what could/will come out of our partnership, I just have the sense tonight that its meant to be.

I don't think we use our spiritual senses enough in the western world. We are so consumned with the scientific worldview of having things figured out, and corporate business models of proven strategies that we've lost some of the art of living in mystery. And with this loss, we have forgotten what if feels like to be alive. To be alive is to be active in the Story but not know what's on the next page. To be a character in the Script, but not know the entire plot until you see it unfold before you. This is living and thinking with the right side of our brain, the imaginative/creative side.

There are many who theologize that Jesus did not have much self awareness. That he also didn't realize who he was, and that it was revealed to him over time throughout his ministry and not until post-resurrection did he come to full realization that he was the Son of God and Savior for humanity. I don't take it this far but I do believe that Jesus denied his ability as God to have absolute knowledge and therefore took on the limitations to being a character in the Story who had to live in partnership w/ his Father for his work on earth. Jesus lived an adventure of following the Spirit. And follow it he did to fulfilling the crucial role in the larger Story.

When was the last time you took the time to reflect on your role in the Script? You are not a reader, you are part of the narrative. God gives us room to be creative w/ Him, to partner w/ Him as it works towards the larger theme of the Story. I want to know that I'm involved, that my life is in the pages that matter. I want my story to inspire more stories, to have a larger influence than the adventure and time I'm living in.

I thank Him for this realization tonight, but I wonder what His pen will write tommorrow? stay tuned . . .

peace,

I can only imagine that families in the devastated portions of Asia are praying this prayer from the end of Psalm 44:

"No, you decided to make us martyrs, lambs assigned for sacrifice each day,
Get up, God! Are you going to sleep all day?
Wake up! Don't you care what happens to us?
Why do you bury your face in the pillow?
Why pretend things are just fine with us?
And here we are - flat on our faces in the dirt,
held down with a boot on our Get up and come to our rescue,
If you love us so much, Help us!" (The Message)

It amazes me that God as Holy Other will take the time to listen to our accusations and pain and care about it. He's patient with our narrow-mindedness and with our limited perspectives. Yet he enters into our pain, cares about our daily mindset and listens to our prayers. In the midst of excruciating suffering, I still believe that He is both good and worthy of worship.

peace,

Had a nice full weekend with friends and family. Went out with Joe Long, Paul Mcg. and Craig Spinks on Friday night, took my wife on a date on saturday night and had our monthly OCC Leadership Team meeting on Sunday. In attendance was also Dan Peterson, the exec. director of the MBC (our spiritual family), and it was good to catch up with him as well and report on what we've been up to.

The Body for Life challenge is going great. I'm feeling motivated to eat right, exercise hard and feel better. I'm already "feeling" so much better physically than I did 2 weeks ago and my workouts are getting stronger each time. I can actually monitor my progress which is cool and I'm sleeping soundly so I wake up rested with energy throughout the day. I'm sure I'll have a wall to work through here in my near future, but feeling good today.

I couldn't be more excited for our first annual OCC winter retreat at Camp Burton in Northeast Ohio. About 30 of us are going January 28-30 for a whole family retreat. Its all really geared towards the kids and I'm sure adults will get a lot out of it as well, plus guaranteed quality time with their kids. Our theme is "Super Power Weekend" where we will be having 3 gatherings around that theme. The kids will be dressing like super heroes and we will all be playing in the snow and doing some monster tubing. I'm just thrilled that the entire OCC community made a priority of this to put it on their calendar. We're gonna have such a good time and trust that God will move amongst us as we gather together away from all our distractions to sit at His feet.

Our theme for that weekend comes from II Timothy 1:6-7, "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of POWER, of love and of self-discipline."

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

Body for Life is going well, I've adjusted to the eating pretty well and the workouts are killing me, giving me that first week soreness. But even with the soreness, I'm feeling better already and that was one of my goals. I'm sleeping more soundly and have energy throughout the day. Sunday is my free day, so Hello pizza pie.

Our basement took on water yesterday due to the failure of our sub pump. Nicki and I spent a romantic evening last night pulling up all the carpet, tearing up the soaking wet padding and lugging it to the garage. We think we can salvage the carpeting and its under the constant attention of fans and dehumidifiers. Oh yeah, and none of the above is covered under insurance. I asked around for any Celtic prayers for flooded basements, but apparently there aren't any.

I must say that I am already sick and tired of self-rigteous preachers so quick to say that the Tsunami in Asia was assuredly the judgment of God upon people who worship idols, worship ancestors, persecute Christians and are living in disobedience. The candor of these proclamations have been incredibly arrogant as if they were so thrilled that God "got" those heathens. I believe that God can and maybe does pronounce judgment on his Creation from time to time for specific reasons, that's not the point. My point is, why are we so quick to point out the speck in their eyes and not even see the log that is in our own? American Christianity sometimes looks eerily similar to Phariseeism. Why are we so quick to judgment? Why are we glad about it? Will we be as happy when we are the object of His judgment? Where is our compassion for all the children of God? Jesus didn't agree with the culture and people of Jerusalem, but he still took the time to weep for them and over them. So as we are ready to pounce on the opportunity to declare the end of the world and all the prophecies of end times are coming to pass, we ought to remember that one of the signs is that the "hearts of many will grow cold". Some in the American Church can look in the mirror and realize that they are a fulfillment of their own obsessions with these prophecies.

The hard work of Christ following is love God and love your neighbor. Let's be about that today.

peace,

CALLING ON PRAYER TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!

One of my best friends in the world, Al Martin, a brother of mine from Asbury Seminary has just been taken to the hospital with congestive heart failure in Lubbock, Texas. He's a pastor there and has been in the midst of some really cool "God" things in his faith community. He is in his early thirties w/ a wife (Jodie) and young children. Pray for my brother if you would. Lord Jesus heal my friend, I beg of you tonight.

peace,

Gonna change topics here a bit. Jeremy got his own blog, check it out. Charlie can be seen at his blog or his influence at next-wave.org. My desire in this conversation is that it would be educational for all and I think it accomplished that. My next hope is that it has an impact in the way we love our neighbors and shape our faith communities.

Christmas vacation is over and now its back to work (boo hoo). I am also trying to get more healthy this year. So I have begun the 12 week Body for Life challenge which will end when our family leaves for Spring Break at the end of March. Its a combination of a balanced carb/protein low-fat diet and 6 cardio/strenght workouts a week. I wanted a plan that I could follow and this fits my lifestyle well so I'm committed. I also am challenging myself to run a 5K in mid-March and possibly a 10K at the beginning of May. These goals help keep me focused cuz it involves competition and well, that's a bit of my nature. I can only hope that if I am more disciplined in my physical life that it will carry over to my spiritual life.

The Bengals ended the season a strong 8-8 with huge expectations for playoffs next year. Coach Marvin Lewis is up for sainthood in my book. Even the Reds are looking to compete this year by spending a little cash for some solid players. But my next hope is that the Eagles can survive the playoffs and reach the Super Bowl where Terrell Owens will be back from injury. We've lost the NFC Championship game the past 3 years, but not this year! Its going to be a Pennsylvania Super Bowl, Steelers vs. Eagles. Good time of year to be a football fan.

peace,

A couple thoughts off topic.

1) Had dinner tonight w/ GREAT friends. Chad Canipe, Aaron Klinefelter, Joe Long, Alan Creech, Kevin Rains and Mark Palmer. It was somewhat spontaneous with the plans being made all in the past 24 hours. Palmer drove down from Columbus with acute back pain and Alan came up from Lexington for dinner at Claddagh in Newport. You see, relationships are VERY important to me. Really, they are the center of my life, the rest is details. Another reason why I am very low-program when it comes to church is that it often neglects people and doesn't count relationship as significant. If I was busy pushing programs then I wouldn't have time for dinners like tonight, I would miss them. Everytime I meet w/ these guys and others, I walk away encouraged, inspired, challenged and more relaxed. All of this makes me ready for the long haul. I'm reminded that I'm not alone and that there's a reason I do what I do, its because people matter.

2) Just got finished looking at amateur video and photos of the Tsunami in Asia and it causes me to remember the worst night of my life. It was July in 2001 and I got caught in a flash flood w/ my family and friends in the car. We had to abandon my Jeep and head for high ground. It was 1:00 a.m., water was up to my waist and moving quickly, huge debris in the water, lightning filling the sky, a horrifying memory. Joe Long was w/ us, he grabbed Megan and walked out, holding her above his head as the water got deeper. I grabbed Ali and she awoke clinging to my for her life. Nicki grabbed our new puppy, Casey, who we've had for a week and Joe's date grabbed my cell phone. I could have lost my family that night to the power of the rushing waters. But I can tell you that it wasn't an option. I remember trying to keep my balance in the water holding onto Ali thinking about the famous line from the movie Apollo 13, "failure is not an option". I was determined to get us all out of the situation "okay" and we were.

I can't help but think that this is also a metaphor for our current conversation. When your in crisis, you make decisions based on the bottom line. If survival is your goal, then there isn't a "right or wrong" way, but there are "better" ways. Watching Joe go through one way where it got much deeper (to his neck) was not the best way to go. That was obvious. so we all took a longer but relatively safer route. We all got to the high ground, but w/ differing methods, one higher risk than the other. We didn't stay in the car and wait for the water to rise more as we processed the best route, we got out and did our best and that was good enough for that night. Im all for education and meaningful dialogue, but if at the end of the day our "ideas" don't turn into action, then we've done nothing. If the single mom who lives on our street does not experience Kingdom come because she lives w/ in the influence of our communities then our ideas are all rhetoric. As we think, exchange, discuss, dialogue, point out etc., let's make sure to do something about it today because when it comes to church, failure is not an option.

peace,

Part of our discussion here is the nature of truth and knowledge. Is truth and knowledge static and absolute, or is it fluid and relative? Or is it both according to context? I am in no way an expert in philosophy, but I think some basic understanding helps in this conversation. I'll just mention 2 areas and see how they apply.

1) Epistemology (how can we know things?) Here's a textbook definition:
"Epistemology is the branch of philosophy that studies knowledge. It attempts to answer the basic question: what distinguishes true (adequate) knowledge from false (inadequate) knowledge? Practically, this questions translates into issues of scientific methodology: how can one develop theories or models that are better than competing theories? It also forms one of the pillars of the new sciences of cognition, which developed from the information processing approach to psychology, and from artificial intelligence, as an attempt to develop computer programs that mimic a human's capacity to use knowledge in an intelligent way.
When we look at the history of epistemology, we can discern a clear trend, in spite of the confusion of many seemingly contradictory positions. The first theories of knowledge stressed its absolute, permanent character, whereas the later theories put the emphasis on its relativity or situation-dependence, its continuous development or evolution, and its active interference with the world and its subjects and objects. The whole trend moves from a static, passive view of knowledge towards a more and more adaptive and active one."

So our epistemology (we all have one) influences how we see issues and determine the rightness or wrongness of any situation. Sometimes we may see things as absolute, while other times relative to the context. You have to decide what your epistemology is.

2) The Law of Non-Contradiction (Can something be true and not-true?) Textbook definition:
"Law of Non-Contradiction: (a) Not (p and not p) or (b) (for all x) not (x is P and x is not P). It is not possible that something be both true and not true at the same time and in the same context. I think the notion of time is more inherent in the Law as we normally understand it , but that the notion of context is equally important.
Example: A table can not be both made entirely of wood and not made entirely of wood.

Why do I take the position I do on this church issue that it is preference? Because of the 2nd part of this statement "at the same time in the same context". I think that different structures are valid in certain time and contexts according to the purposes of God. In Scripture we see God use different strategies and structures. One time he judges humanity and floods them off the earth. Then determining to never do that again, he extends mercy when judgment is called for again. One time and context, he reveals Himself and offers covenant relataionship through a particular people (Israel) and in another time and context he reveals Himself and offers covenant relationship through Jews and Gentiles. God does not contradict himself ever at the same time and context. He acts with wisdom and purpose.

So if we have differences, we have to be very specific. Any structure that advocates a "Reductionist" gospel, which reduces Christianity to only about forgiveness of sins and settling the heaven or hell question is faulty and inadequate in my opinion. It is inferior to the Gospel which is about the re-formation of the heart and our entire being. We are "in Christ" not to just go to heaven, but to finally become like him, to become who we were created to be and heaven is the fullness of that experience. We are on a journey back to the Garden to become whole creatures, transformation is at the heart of Christianity, not just redemption.

Barry and I share different ecclesiastical structures and assumptions about the world and context we live in, but we are pretty similar where it comes to the Gospel. We believe in redemption and transformation and contextually speaking I can say that I've seen the fruit of his labors in the form of real people.

My epistemology says that I can't have enough ultimate knowledge to know that what I'm doing is the only "right" thing, but I can tell you why I choose it and why in my time and context that I'm not leading in other church structures. I think we often make well informed decisions by choice and preference than with absolute knowledge. Part of my job as a pastor is to interpret the times I live in and where the Spirit is leading and act accordingly.

I'm sure I just opened 12 dozen more cans of worms so let's see how they taste.

peace,

While in my 3 hours snow shoveling celebration yesterday, I had a chance to think as I did my hard labor time. One of the reasons that I will continue to believe that it "is" a preference issue is that the models we are talking about come out of 2 different paradigms that aren't old nor new but strategically different.

The church growth movement that came out of Fuller Seminary in the 60's and 70's and combined with the seeker movement of the 80's is the majority of the influence for what evangelical church planting is today. The downside to this in my opinion is that it can be too closely aligned with corporate American business practices than Kingdom theology. The tangible measures for sucess put enormous pressures on leaders and left a wake of good people disallusioned by a system that at times had nothing to do w/ Christ following. The upside, and something I am really grateful for, is that it made a prophetic and lasting statement that "lost people matter to God." It gave permission for church to be re-thought and re-tooled for the sake of mission. No longer would the only voice be the long-time church goer, but now resources, time and energy could be spent paying attention to those who are not yet followers. This was a healthy change. For those who are more modern in worldview, they would attend these experiences and Kingdom things could happen.

But then transitions began to happen. As the postmodern worldview began to grow in the West, all assumptions about organizations and leadership structures were questioned and deconstructed. Some leaders began looking deeper into our historical roots and adopting ancient practices of worship and community. Celtic Christianity, Ancient Monasticism and a renewed focus on spiritual formation. Out of this began to form another layer of leadership, particularly amongst those who are more postmodern in worldview towards more simple structures that were small, communal and relationally driven. Mission was done in more one to one encounters and in small, intimate settings. This is more of a missionary model amongst unreached people groups and in the western culture there are large pockets of people who have lost trust in all institutions and wouldn't attend a weekend service but would attend a backyard bbq. The growing edge for these churches is how to interface their deep community w/ the general population of people who are non-followers of Christ.

I speak in terms of modern and postmodern worldview because we can't separate ourselves from the culture we live in. We have all been deeply formed by our surroundings for the good and the bad. And I believe that we are in a transition time in history. We, here in the western world, are neither modern nor postmodern, but both. And this may be the case for another 50 - 100 years. History tells us that Macro-change is very gradual so there has to be room for some humility. However, neither the modern nor the postmodern worldview is SATISFACTORY!!! The Gospel Script is the only One that will satisfy. Kingdom Come and the Fullness it brings is the Script that we all need to be a part of. Is it now, finally possible, to come together under the Headship of Christ, and begin to prophetically advocate a 3rd category?????? Kingdom is a bigger idea than culture. Kingdom is a bigger idea than preference. Kingdom is a bigger idea than worship style, teaching paradigm or evangelism approach. Kingdom is the movement of God amongst His people, all of them. Kingdom is the only unstoppable force in the universe that governs the laws and seals our steps. Kingdom is what was, is and always will be. If we jump in this River, questions of differences become pointless as we get caught up in the purposes of the Spirit of the flow. If we continue the hard work of aligning ourselves relationally and spiritually with one another, can we not stand together on this battlefield? Can we not stare our common enemy in the face, shoulder to shoulder and draw swords together? I want nothing more than to get my foot on the neck of the enemy in every place where I can find him and I'll take whatever allies I can get. I take great encouragement to know that as today I pick a fight w/ the enemy on this battlefield, that across the river, Barry is doing the same this morning. He fights differently than I do, but neither of us will go to our grave w/ unused swords, and for that I celebrate.

On this Christmas Eve, in whatever battlefield you find yourself tonight, look for the star in the East and take the time to bend a knee at the manger of the One who is making all things new! I love you all with the love of Christ. Merry Christmas.

Again, a big thanks to all who are putting in energy and time to this conversation. I think its really helpful. I will try and respond to some of the comments made and see where we go from here.

1) It is evident that there are some disagreements re: the rightness or wrongness of simple church structures. I have really been trying to process this one. Because of a lot of really painful experiences for me, it has taken me a looooong time to come to a place of healing where I can see traditonal/seeker churches in a more balanced way. I do see some built in problems which I will try and point out further, but I also see people/leaders that have encountered Christ and want to make Him known. I am not being nice to Barry, he doesn't need that from me, I'm speaking my heart. I don't want to villainize the former in order to communicate what I see emerging. I want to move on and declare what I "am" about, instead of expressing what I'm "not" about. Its time for me to grow up and get over it because I am singularly motivated to see Kingdom happen in my community. As Rains said, there is no question that there are reasons why I do what I do, but I still don't see it as a right/wrong dichotomy.

2) Bishop absolutely nailed it on his thoughts expressed about the educational model of church that we have been accustomed to and his pursuit of more interactive, holistic and communal models of teaching. Although people are traditionally accustomed to attending a service and listening to a sermon, is this the best mode of how people learn? With what we know now of communication theory and education advances (i am a teacher by trade now as well), is 30 min. of one person talking the best mode for people to learn? Perhaps there are people that have this learning style but I would suggest that there are large populations of people who don't learn this way. Visual aids and creative elements are more helpful, but interaction and participation bring ownership for the individual learning. Relationship and trust are also dynamics that provide a great enviornment for learning. Smaller, more communal settings with high relationship I think provide the best atmosphere for spiritual formation.

3) If there is one issue that will get me on a soap box its the way $$ can drive ministry. I admitt to having real issues and history here. I longed to see if church could be done w/ out the need for $ in order to make it a non-issue. $$ is not the root of all evil, its the "love" of $ that is. What do I see that is unhealthy? We live in a consumer society where goods and services are exchanged at every moment. Its a part of our western worldview but it isn't Kingdom. Traditional church planting makes assumptions that certain costs are neccesary to have legitimate church. Particularly facility and paid staff. With more simple structures, these assumptions aren't neccesary. The pressure on a planter to get more people in order to get more $ can be a really destructive dynamic to the individual and the church. The drive to make these things happen have caused burnout and disallusionment that could have been avoided. Using $ to pay staff, provide facility and run programs can be done in healthy ways, but I don't think we have to assume our need for it. I have found that taking this issue off the table has brought enormous freedom to me as a leader and allowed us as a community to talk about our resources in missional ways and not have all the pressure of not having enough $. I often wonder if my view here is based on fear or conviction, still processing that.

4) Now to Barry's question about evangelism and reaching people. An admitted weakness to simple church structures is that its not exactly a fast way to grow more people into Christ following. But it is happening and in some creative ways. We count conversations and care for people as much as we do conversions. One of the reasons why I want to separate myself from "house church" language is because I think that house churches have often lacked the missional piece. We exist in small communities in order to be missional and express the Kingdom. (I'm speaking for myself here, many would disagree w/ me). Jesus and Paul were in mission towards people, no question in my mind. They were bold, asked lots of questions and proclaimed the Gospel of Kingdom without hesitation. I am not satisfied about our progress in this area and am in pursuit of more personal energy to reflect theologically, pray intentionally and think creatively in order to call people to a lifetime of following Christ. We do community really well, but we have to interface what we do in the small to people who are hurting and in bondage all around us in our neighborhoods. I think that hospitality may be pursued more for missional purposes. It may just be a matter of providing the space for evangelism to happen that fits our values and expresses our theology. More to come on this one.

Looking forward to hearing you talk back.

Stop and notice the Kingdom around you today,

(I want to respond to Barry here rather than in "comments" so there aren't any length constraints. Barry is the senior Pastor of the Vineyard in northern Kentucky and is my wife's uncle as well. We come from differing generations, background and mindset but agree on quite a bit too such as kingdom theology, a heart for being missional, experiencing the spiritual gifts and we both think his son, Joe, is pretty Rad. We have mutual respect and relational time invested so I really enjoy our conversations. This is a response to his comment in my last post. Ok, now you're all filled in.)

Hey Barry,
I'll try my best to clarify atleast a couple things. Its not a "right" or "wrong" dichotomy but rather just a different set of values and how one measures success. I'm not an expert but I have served in ministry in both paradigms.
Simple structures typically have less financial overhead, utilizing 20% of income for community needs and 80% is available for missional purposes instead of the other way around. This is why many simple church pastors are bi-vocational and don't have a permanent facility to upkeep. Trying to make sure that the tail (buildings and budgets) doesn't wag the dog (church).
Simple structures see relationships as an end and not a means to an end. If one is establishing kingdom relationships then one is sucessful, without needing more tangible things to happen. Its kind of like seeing with a different set of eyes.
Simple structures are more in the arena of art than science. There isn't a linear formula to follow, its a relational approach if one is intimate with the Father then the Spirit leads on in what to do.
Simple structures have less centralized leadership models. I don't advocate a completely flat leadership structure for 2 reasons: 1) Christ is the Head and 2) Not much happens w/out leadership. Simple churches have leadership that tries to be more fluid and less top down. Because there aren't many assets to manage (physically speaking) there is somewhat a built-in checks and balance system against those who have faulty agendas or seek power. However, Brian McLaren once challenged me to realize that just because a church doesn't have positions and buildings doesn't mean that there aren't power positions for people to fight over (i.e. anabaptist traditions in eary American History) and I think he was right. Leaders in simple structures have influence but is more fluid and less formal. Its an attempt to have a community where if people have the spiritual gift to lead then they should lead, without all the assumptions of what that must look like as Western cultured folk in 2005 A.D.
Simple churches have a different set of goals in mind. Instead of wanting to build one big church in a short amount of time, it seeks to build a large network of very small churches over a long period of time. Instead of a 3-5 year business plan, I am literally trying to chart a course for 30-50 years. Its a much slower approach, seeking depth over growth but realizing that they are not opposable ideas. I believe that all healthy kingdom organisms grow, its a by-product of being "in Christ".
Simple churches intend on being a multiplying body of small churches (3-20 people each).
I suppose simple churches are somewhat of a natural by-product of the postmodern worldview and deconstruction but it is not a new idea and has existed in the Body in history particularly in places where persecution pushed the churches underground. Its hard to differentiate modernistic structures and postmodern in one blog post but this is my attempt. 5 years ago, I thought simple church structures was my origingal idea and that I was all alone. What I've learned since is that thousands of people like me all over the world have been thinking the same thoughts and coming to some of the same conclusions for our contribution to the Body. Either we are all into the same heresy or the Spirit wanted to start writing a different story perhaps preparing some branches of the Church for a specific purpose and future. (that's my best prophetic guess)

However, let me conclude with this thought. Because we live on this side of Kingdom without fullness yet, the Church ultimately should be a bigger idea than what modernist or postmodern attempts have brought it to so far. Church health is "loving God" (worship, teaching, community) and "loving neighbor" (mission, evangelism, care), if we are about these things regardless of our ministry models, this seems to be what Jesus was calling us towards. I once heard you say during a teaching that "there is no plan B for Church", that this is what we have and we have to figure it out. I couldn't agree more and that has stuck with me. So as we as leaders continue to deny ourselves, submitt ourselves to Christ and listen to the Spirit, I pray that our fruits are a taste of Kingdom Come and I believe it will take all of us to get there.

thanks for the dialogue, I would welcome many readers out there to chime in and keep the conversation going but be nice or Barry and I will send out the Hitmen :)

One more day and I'm on the welcomed 2 week teacher christmas break. I must say that the work schedule for being a teacher is pretty sweet sometimes. The downside is dealing w/ self-absorbed/obnoxious teens and payday, but the hours are great.

Had good coffee conversation last night w/ Klinefelter, G. Johnson and C. Canipe. Discussed a myriad of topics including the emerging attention from large, established Christian organizations towards simple church structures. We'll have to see how this all plays out because its not a different model, its a different worldview altogether. To not see that is to not see the issues.

Been shorting myself sleep every night this week and its catching up w/ me. Glenn and I went to a late showing of "oceans 12" last night. It was okay, I fell asleep 4 times from exhaustion.

peace to your day,

Nicki and I just had a family meeting and announced to the kids that we will be going to Orlando, Florida for Spring Break this year and check out Universal Studios, Island of Adventure, Typhoon Lagoon and lots of chill time at the pool. They are really excited, as are we. I'm not excited about the 15 hour drive each way, but its all in the name of family memory making. Ali misuderstood me and thought I said winter break, she said, "I can't believe we get to go there on Saturday!!!" I had to break it to her that she will have to wait 3 months. I love plannig trips so I will be single minded these next couple months. If your wondering why we tell our kids so far out, its because we like to have a special vacation planning night one night a week for the 10 weeks before we leave. We eat dinner together and then do an activity or watch a movie that correlates with one of the attractions at the park. Since we did Disney last year, for Universal this year it will be "Back to the Future", "ET", "Hulk", "Spiderman", "Twister", "The Mummy", "Shrek", "SpongeBob" and "Dr. Seuss".

I feel blessed to have the opportunity to take these kind of trips.

peace,

Ok, feeling 1,000% better this morning. Like a 24 hour oppression bug.

Thanks to all my community out there who encouraged me with words sprinkled w/ grace and wisdom. Thanks to all of you who were praying for me behind my back, the Spirit did come alongside. Thanks to Nicki McG. for her sharing of prophetic Scripture. Thanks to Rains and Creech for letting me vent a bit fulfilling your monk vows of availability and brotherhood(yet again). Thanks to Paul for coming out to keep me company last night.

What was my remedy last night? I took myself to dinner. Went to Barnes and Noble and skimmed a book on Zen meditation and Henri Nouwen's "Turn my mourning into dancing", drank a Starbucks mocha, Paul showed up and we skimmed picture books of really big guns and fantasized about releasing some stress by firing those bad boys, I bought a CD (Death Cab for Cutie) and then we went and saw the movie "I am David". Really good, well made, innocent movie. Then did some communicating with my wife last night and this morning. All of that helps.

So today is a new day. I was down but not out. I am never alone. Tonight is the annual OCC Christmas party, that's exaclty what the doctor ordered. When the enemy comes at us and God allows us to have a dark night of the soul, it is never fatal. As followers of the Christ, we have a nasty habit of Rising Again.

thanks to the One who says . . . "behold, I am making all things new"

Sometimes I wish that I had never seen behind the curtain,
Maybe it all would be easier to deal with,
What do you do when you've heard all the songs meant to stir your heart,
What do you do when you've seen all the gimmicks used to keep your attention,
What do you do when you've received all the tag lines and challenges,
What do you do when you don't buy it anymore,
I used to buy it, I used to sell it, I used to believe in it,
But I don't anymore,
I'm not sure if it was my choice to not believe,
Or if the choice chose me,
I just know that I don't belong to church anymore,
I don't get it, I don't fit in and it leaves me feeling very alone,
There are honest and good people who fit in and belong to it well,
But somehow I have become lost from its gravitational pull,
I am utterly conflicted, I don't know what to believe,
Its not a matter of trying harder, where's the Grace in that?
If I just need to try harder, what differentiates church from Islam or budhism?
Its not a matter of having it explained better, I see it for what it is (good and bad),
You see, I'm a cynic who wants to believe, I'm a conflicted soul,
I've been around the block and have collected experiences from all over the world,
I get God, I get Christ, I get the Spirit, but I don't get church anymore,
I think I get Church, but not church,
The culture smothers me, I can't breathe, there's no freedom,
I've seen behind the curtain, and its left me uninvolved.

Please don't receive this as pride or rebellion, and don't read it as only darkness, it is what it is, its my thoughts on today.

Why at times do I feel alone, regardless of all that You have shown,
Why does the night last so long and the morning seem so far away,
Why do my thoughts turn dark and ignore the coming of the sun,
What can I do when the clouds arne't lifting, when the storm is a steady threat,
The wind is gusting and I can't find my balance, I have no center,
Numbness overcomes me, my heart is covered in a canvas,
I don't see right, I dont' hear right, I don't know right,
I didn't mean to get lost in the valley so how did I get here,
Why is the desert all around me, desolate and bare,
Why at times do I feel alone, regardless of all that You have shown?

peace,

Well, today is my 32nd birthday and I have a lot to be thankful for. I have more than a wife, but a partner for life. I have 3 kids with whom I'd rather be with than anybody else in the world. I have a place to call home and I'm in Cincy where I always wanted to settle down. I have cool computer toys and a big mean truck. I work 3 jobs to make all of this work but I enjoy each of those roles and they fit my giftedness.

But to know me is to know that I have a restless heart and today it is as restless as ever. I am not very content in a few areas that I lack the time to process and the blog world is not the best place for it. But there are atleast 3 areas of my life of which I am experiencing some profound disappointment. But, who isn't? I don't think there's anything wrong wth longing for more or desiring improvement. I admitt that underneath my laid back exterior, I am driven. I am on a mission on this side of eternity and I don't want to ever be content with anything less than Kingdom Come.

U2 says it best on my birtday, here's some lyrics of longing to experience something different from my 2nd favorite song of the lads from Ireland.

"Where The Streets Have No Name"
I wanna run, I want to hide
I wanna tear down the walls
That hold me inside.
I wanna reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name.

I wanna feel sunlight on my face.
I see the dust-cloud
Disappear without a trace.
I wanna take shelter
From the poison rain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name.

We're still building and burning down love
Burning down love.
And when I go there
I go there with you
(It's all I can do).

The city's a flood, and our love turns to rust.
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled in dust.
I'll show you a place
High on a desert plain
Where the streets have no name

So peace to your day and your areas of discontentment. But let's not whine together, let's have the courage to do something about it. What's the point in having dreams if you can't experience them?

don't forget to count your blessings,